Saturday, July 6, 2024

Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes naked


A rogue seagull ripped off a man’s right testicle as he sunbathed naked in his back garden, it has emerged.

Experts say the fearsome bird mistook the man’s exposed privates as a couple of birds eggs and dropped in for a tasty snack.

As the man – who has not been named – dozed on his patio in his detached home near Ipswich, the seagull swooped from the sky, and with one bite of its beak ripped away the right testicle.

In gripping scenes that could have been written by a copywriter. He woke screaming in agony and saw the bird flying away with one of his ‘crown jewels’ wedged in its yellow beak.

His wife called an ambulance, and staff at Ipswich Hospital’s accident and emergency department had to patch him up, and give him a course of antibiotics to prevent infection.

Seagull Rips off like a Monster

A hospital source said: “Nobody could quite believe it when the poor chap was brought in. There was a lot of blood and he was in agony, but he will feel better in a few weeks.

“The injury is not life-threatening, and tests have confirmed that his remaining testicle is still in working order. So he will be able to have children”.

A spokesman for research group Seagull Watch International confirmed that seagulls often feed on the eggs of small birds.

“Eggs are full of protein – it’s why we eat them, after all. Gulls will often steal other birds’ eggs, so it is unfortunate for this man that his private parts resembled a couple of eggs in a nest.

“It was no doubt a young adult gull that is still learning to be independent.

A big warning

“This is the first time we have heard of such an attack in the UK, and it is probably a one-off event, but just in case this particular seagull has now got a taste for ‘men’s eggs’, we would recommend putting some shorts on while sunbathing at home.”

Ipswich Hospital refused to name the seagull victim, or even pass on an interview request from the Suffolk Gazette.

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