Friday, December 2, 2022

Hero seagull saves chav from £100 fine

Hero seagull saves chav from £100 fine

A kind seagull saved boy from getting over speeding fine by hiding his Reg Plate with wings.

How much is a bird shitting on your car worth? £10? £20? £50?

Teenage Suffolk boy racer, Gordon Clapper knows the answer… a hundred quid! That’s how much a single seagull saved him in bizarre circumstances after he was caught tearing it up on the London Road around Ipswich last week.

Taxing personality

Local yob, Clapper, 17, from a crappy part of Ipswich is no stranger to being caught speeding on traffic cameras. Sometimes 3 or 4 of them on the same stretch of road. A speeding fine will cost a UK driver £100 plus 3 points added to your license, or you may be given the option to attend a speed awareness course instead. Clapper has attended 38 courses and has about six grand’s worth of unpaid fines. He would have over a hundred points on his license by now – if he had one.

Sound like your son?

Early, last Tuesday morning, after evading the Police for most of the night, feral delinquent. Clapper decided to burn rubber one last time through a quiet residential area before going home to smoke dope with his mum. As usual, the flash of a traffic camera illuminated his Formula 1-esque drive home. He didn’t care.

How Seagull saved him

When the penalty notice arrived, gormless Gordon was amused to find that a rogue seagull featured heavily in the snap taken by the traffic camera. With impeccable timing, the heroic bird had launched itself from the top of the yellow box. In front of the camera lens housed within, just as Clapper’s souped-up mini Cooper rocketed past. The resulting picture, which shows Clapper’s registration plate obscured by the seagulls’ wing. Must surely be the most fortuitous intervention ever captured by a speed camera.

Prison is too good

We got in touch with Clapper through his probation officer and he gave us the following comment via voicemail. “Fackin bird dun me a roight favour but then e shit all over me mota din’e? Just after that pictcha wos takern, he crapped all over me winsdcreen. facking cant of a bird.”

How ungrateful!

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