Friday, May 3, 2024

Royal Mail to launch newly-designed uniform from January 2025


Royal Mail has released an image of a newly designed uniform which will be trialled across Suffolk from January 2025.

The gender un-neutral outfits which some critics say have a slight ‘cabin crew’ look about them were designed by up-coming, blind fashion and textiles student, Nina Leggett-Flack who studies in Braille at Suffolk New College in Otley, an appointment that cynics say is a transparent attempt by Royal Mail to boost its diversity credentials.

It’s all subjective:

Opinion across Suffolk was today somewhat split however one staid, old-timer, Rosamund Blowers representing the Rotary Club of Sudbury said, after being shown the images by the Gazette.

“You may know that ‘Suffolk Pink’ is the lovely dusky blend of red and yellow ochre which provides the unique, instantly recognizable pale terracotta finish to many historic buildings across Suffolk.

As you should know, the proud flag of Suffolk displays a yellow emblem of a crown and crossed arrows on a field of blue.

It is no surprise therefore that the brainboxes at Royal Mail HQ, have COMPLETELY IGNORED THE SERENE, TRADITIONAL COLOURS OF THIS GREAT COUNTY OF OURS, and decided on bright red for their tacky, new ‘thunderbirds’ postie outfit. We at the RCS say – it’s a load of squit.”

On the other side, Instagrammer Postie749rex posted “Seen the new gear. Thas suffen good. Oil be looken loike Tarm Cruise in thart!”

Delivery not livery:

Although the lazy, small-minded staff at Royal Mail, Suffolk are sure to be amused, intrigued and excited by the new uniform – chatting endlessly about it instead of sorting or delivering mail as they should be doing, some critics say that RM has got its priorities wrong.

Feed back on new uniform:

Elliot Keeble from Stoke Park, Ipswich told this reporter “I don’t give a f*****g s**t what those lazy f*****s wear. They can dress up like the village people for all I care.

I’ve been waiting for delivery of a vintage 1973 Evel Knievel stunt cycle complete with original swagger stick and belt buckle for days now. eBay estimated delivery between Sat, 27 Aug and Thu, 1 Sep. Nuffin’! C***s!”

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