Friday, December 6, 2024

Bill Posters still on the run

Bill Posters still on the run
Bill Posters still on the run

Suffolk resident, Bill Posters (73) is still on the run… 73 years after first being falsely accused of doing… everything.

Posters of Thurston, East Suffolk, has not been seen since 24th March 1968, when he disappeared during a night out celebrating his eighteenth birthday with family and friends. Since that date, Posters has been wanted in connection with over one-hundred and twenty-five thousand crimes in and around the county of Suffolk, as well as a further sixteen-plus thousand crimes recorded before his disappearance.

Tatty buckets

This reporter scanned through old issues of the Suffolk Gazette to see how Poster’s disappearance was covered at the time. According to the March ’68 issue, Bill and his mates were out celebrating at the Fox and Hounds pub in Thurston, when a posse of disgruntled locals arrived at the pub carrying pitchforks, sickles, and flaming torches.

They were looking for Bill,  who they believed was responsible for the theft of some tatty old buckets and a roll of barbed wire from a local farmyard. Despite the mob’s determination to apprehend Bill, he escaped through a bathroom window and was never seen again. His pursuers had to be content, banging their fists against the bar, swearing a lot, and sticking some posters up on the pub wall which read… wait for it… ‘BE AWARE! Bill posters will be prosecuted.’

Russel Crow

Crimes including rape, murder, theft, burglary, tax evasion, kidnap, crow rustling, and apple scrumping, all feature on Poster’s charge sheet in absentia. 

This reporter managed to speak to an old friend of Bill’s who was out with him on the night he disappeared. Frank Price, 70, who wished to remain anonymous, told me that Bill left a cryptic clue to his possible whereabouts just before he vanished. “Well, we were ‘avin a good larf at his party n’that. But all of a sudden, ‘e went a bit melon cauliflower, like. I arsked him what were wrong an’ ‘e just said ‘e were sick of being blamed for all that shit what he didn’t do. An’ then he said – an’ I’ve never told anyone this before – he was thinking of movin’ to Spain.”

Spain?

“Spain.”

Why Spain?

“Well, ‘e said, that in Spain, Carteles de facturas will be prosecuted, not Bill Posters. So that’s where I think ‘e is.”

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