Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Revisionist historians have ‘cone mad’ refighting battle of Waterloo

Revisionist historians have ‘cone mad’ refighting battle of Waterloo

BRISTOL, UK – A group of mature students from Bristol University has claimed that the French won the 1815 Battle of Waterloo.

According to their revisionist reinterpretation, the French under Napoleon Bonaparte are declared the victors of one of the most iconic battles in European history, and it’s all in the name of “principle.”

Get a proper job

The wet historians, none of whom have done a real day’s work in their lives. Argue that the British army, led by the indomitable Duke of Wellington,. Should never have been in Belgium in the first place.

In their newly crafted narrative: the educated idiots of Bristol University claim Britain’s Imperialist ambitions and relentless pursuit of colonial conquest were the real villains of the story.

According to Professor Sally Horsefacebitch, leader of woke revisionist brigade, ‘Put Wrongs Right’. “Wellington’s army was essentially an unwelcome guest at a wonderfully lovely Belgian party. The kindly French were merely defending their right to a soirée without intrusion. Snort.”

In reality…

The Duke of Wellington was a leading political and military figure of the 19th century. He is best known for kicking Napoleon Bonaparte’s arse at Waterloo in 1815. As a general, he was renowned for his effective defensive skills. His strategies are still studied in military academies today, except in Bristol.

Trigger warning

The ridiculously revised version of history (which comes with a trigger warning) goes on to depict the French troops. As peace-loving revolutionaries who were merely defending their territory against the encroaching British forces. In this alternative PC universe, Napoleon’s brilliant military strategies and his charisma are celebrated as heroic acts of resistance against British imperialism.

The British government has not officially responded to this Marxist retelling of the battle. Sources suggest they might soon “launch an inquiry into the matter” to ensure that “lessons are learned” from “historical mistakes that may have been made” – FFS.

Clarity on battle of Waterloo

In the end, whether you believe in this quirky historical reinterpretation or not.It’s clear that the Battle of Waterloo is no longer just a remnant from history. It’s an active battlefield in the ongoing war of woke historical narratives. Napoleon himself would likely raise an eyebrow and say, “Mon Dieu! Sacré bleu! Zut alors!”

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