Saturday, September 24, 2022

Anxious police say they have nothing to go on

nothing to go on

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Thieves stole the toilet from a police station in Suffolk – and now officers say they have nothing to go on.

The brazen criminals broke into the station in Felixstowe overnight on Tuesday, taking a range of items.

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They ransacked the police dog compound and stole three bags of accessories, and also took a crossword book from the staff canteen.

A police spokesman said: “We are looking for new leads. And as for the crossword book, we currently have no clues.”

But it is the theft of the toilet that has put a strain on the police.

“I can confirm we have nothing to go on,” the spokesman continued. “We are keeping our fingers and legs crossed.”

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Anyone with information is urged to contact Felixstowe Police Station immediately.

It is not the first time criminals have carried out a strange offence in Suffolk.

Recently bungling robbers raided a sperm bank in Ipswich. The gang, led by Jack Meoff, is now behind bars.

And last October a man was warned to remove an offensive pumpkin in the lead-up to Halloween.

Meanwhile, police are continuing their hunt for missing working class villagers who disappeared mysteriously after the opening of a new butcher’s shop.

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