Tuesday, April 2, 2024

McGoldrick out for 47 years with thigh strain

By Ulrich Le Pen, Ipswich Town Medical Correspondent

Ipswich striker David McGoldrick will be sidelined for 47 years with his recurring thigh strain, club medics have revealed.

Boss Mick McCarthy had claimed last season’s 21-goal top scorer would be back weeks ago.

But then McGoldrick broke down again in training not once, but 72 times, and McCarthy has to keep changing his story.

Now club doctors have admitted it will be 47 years before the 28-year-old is fit enough to return to the Super Blues, who are pushing for a play-off spot in the Championship.

Thighly improbable: David McGoldrick

Meanwhile, this season’s goal-scoring sensation, Daryl Murphy continues to lead the front line with his new midget strike partner, Freddie Sears – although he’s still a foot taller than Jay Tabb.

A Portman Road insider revealed: “Big Mick had hoped McGoldrick would be back early to boost Ipswich’s promotion push, but he keeps having to admit that the striker has suffered a set back.

“A fresh scan on McGoldrick’s thigh showed it will now be 47 years until he can expect to run out on to the Portman Road pitch again.”

Medical staff have given the former Nottingham Forest and Southampton star a strict diet of hydroponic vegetables to help rebuild his strength while he’s sidelined.

Supporters were devastated about the latest injury shocker. Those Were The Days fans’ forum guru Phil Bacon said: “We never thought we’d say it, but should we bring back Frank Nouble?”

His controversial comment was met with a resounding “No” by the entire population of Suffolk.

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