A Suffolk woman has revealed she spent four hours in a shop yesterday searching for a pair of camouflage trousers.
The quality of the patterned garment was so good she was unable to see it anywhere on the shelves.
Shopper Lorraine Fisher, 34, fumed: “I needed a pair of camouflage trousers for a fishing trip this weekend.
“But when I went to the shop they were so well camouflaged that I couldn’t find them. I spent hours going back and forth and eventually had to give in and ask a shop assistant.
“Would you believe they were right under my nose the whole time? It just goes to show how well camouflaged they are. A bargain at £9.99.”
Ms Fisher says she attached a balloon to the trousers when she got home to Felixstowe so that she could find them easily in the morning.
“I can have a bit of fun when I wear them and creep up on people because they’ll never see me coming.”
Worried cocaine users do not need to stockpile the drug ahead of a no-deal Brexit, the Government insists.
Michael Gove, who is responsible for preparing for no deal, and who is an expert on the cocaine market, says supplies will not be interrupted after October 31.
But with customs checks set to increase at the borders, there are fears of widespread delivery delays to dealers.
Cocaine user Steve Walshe said: “Everyone bangs on about possible shortages of avocados, Spanish tomatoes and medicines, but no one has mentioned cocaine.
“It’s one of Britain’s biggest imports yet no-one has picked up on the problems we face. There will be queues of drug-laden containers on ships at our major ports for days on end.
“To ensure I am fully prepared for every eventuality, I’ve personally ordered in 25kgs from my dealer, which should see me through the autumn and busy Christmas and New Year party season.
“Hopefully, the manufacturers in Colombia will be able to handle this unusual spike in demand from the UK.”
Lorraine Fisher, 34, a spokeswoman for Brexit planner Michael Gove said: “Mr Gove says this cocaine business gets right up his nose. He’s only too well aware of the needs of cocaine users.
“He has been working hard to ensure there will be no interruption in supply.
“However, Mr Gove recognises the size of the task is not to be sniffed at.”
A cocaine industry spokesman said: “We would urge our customers not to worry. We have developed many alternative transport methods over the years and will avoid any queues at the border.”
Every year we see thousands of people flock to bookies up and down the country to make a bet. Whether their bet is based on loyalty to the team/person, knowledge or maybe their Spidey-senses are tingling, there are many reasons for people placing their bets.
Some people like to spice up their weekends and play slots, others head to gambling events. Some events receive a greater influx of bets than others – there are events across all sorts of sports – but what events are the highlights in the calendar?
The Grand National
One of the most famous horse racing events in the world is the Grand National. It is a steeplechase event that captures the attention of the nation and other countries across the globe. The Aintree racecourse is historic with the first Grand National being held 180 years ago in 1839. Now the event is at the point where we see over £200 million being bet on the event each year. That’s right, from all the sweepstakes, last-minute-bets, carefully calculated and joke bets that the public place on the event, the bookies take-in millions of pounds in bets. Make sure you’re keeping an eye on the odds the bookies give around the time of the Grand National so you don’t miss out.
The FIFA World Cup
Every four years the FIFA World Cup comes around and football fever grips every participating nation. Similar to the Grand National, the World Cup usually attracts a lot of sweepstakes amongst friends, work colleagues and families. When betting on the World Cup there are so many options to choose from. You can bet on the team to win, bet on the winner of a single game, bet on who scores in a game or even which team will receive the most amount of cards in the tournament – the list is practically endless. In the UK, the amount of money spent on gambling for the 2018 World Cup was around £2.5 billion, with bookies worldwide making a profit of around $36 billion, so be sure to get your bets in for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar and see if you could grab some of that money for yourself.
Wimbledon
The oldest tennis tournament in the UK is played on the luscious grass of Wimbledon. The third tournament of the year in the series of Grand Slam events, Wimbledon is an icon in the world of tennis with young players aspiring to play there in the years to come. The five disciplines (men’s singles, women’s singles, men’s doubles, women’s doubles and mixed doubles) allow you to bet across multiple different events, chancing the winner of any match or the outright tournament winner. Each year this event sees a huge spike for betting in tennis with around £1.5 billion worth of bets placed each year.
The Super Bowl
You might be surprised to find this event on the list as it’s not even an English sport, but the Super Bowl is one of the most popular betting events of the year in the UK. With American football becoming increasingly popular on this side of the pond, more and more fans are staying up until the early hours to watch the annual event take place. In America, the bookies made a profit of $10 million after $145 million was wagered for the 53rd edition of the event which saw the New England Patriots claim another title by defeating the Los Angeles Rams.
So there you have it, now you know the biggest events in the UK to bet on, put them in your calendar and keep an eye out for those odds being advertised. With so much money to be made on these events, a small bet would be fun or get together a sweepstake at work – you never know, you might win big.
Police are hunting a shotgun-wielding Suffolk man who ‘robbed’ the stars of TV’s Dragons’ Den out of a £100,000.
Brandishing a shotgun and a bag, he brazenly walked out of the famous studio lift and onto the set during filming last week.
The BBC show’s stars, including tycoons Peter Jones and Deborah Meaden, assumed the man was a genuine entrepreneur pitching for funding.
Dragons Den
He walked up to the five Dragons and said: “My name is Colin, and I’m asking today for £100,000 of your money in return for zero per cent of my business.”
Shocked by what seemed like an unappealing investment opportunity, Peter Jones was the first to speak.
He said: “Hello, Colin. I’m Peter. What exactly is this business idea of yours? Are you setting up a clay pigeon shooting school or something? If so, I would expect 30% of your business. You can go to the back wall and think about it if you like.”
But then Colin raised his gun and, in a broad Suffolk accent, explained: “No, Peter. The business idea is simple, really. You see, this is my gun, and this is my bag. Just put all your money in the f**king bag!”
The show’s Dragons famously have tens of thousands of pounds on the tables next to them, ready to invest in entrepreneurs and their business ideas.
Colin – not believed to be his real name – watched as they nervously tipped all their cash into his bag. Animal lover Deborah Meaden looked down her nose and said: “I hope that’s not a leather bag. I’m out.”
He then turned around, calmly caught the lift downstairs and walked out passed shocked presenter, Evan Davis.
Police spokeswoman Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We can confirm a man walked onto the Dragon’s Den studio set on the pretence of having a business opportunity.
“But he promptly used his props – a shotgun and a bag – to rob the show’s stars.
“The man has a broad Suffolk accent, is not thought to be called Colin, and is about 6 foot tall with brown hair.”
Dragons Den fake money
A BBC insider insisted the cash that Colin stole was fake money.
“He’ll have a shock when he tries to spend it,” the insider said.
“It’s never nice being the victim of crime, but this should make for excellent TV when it’s aired as part of series 18 next year.”
Excited Brits have all agreed they are looking forward to another general election campaign, the third in just three years.
Throw in the UK referendum vote in 2016, this year’s European elections and multiple local elections, and the electorate have been overwhelmingly spoilt.
Voter Steve Walshe, pictured above, said: “The prospect of yet another general election is so exciting, I can hardly contain myself.
“What makes things so thrilling is that no matter which way any of us vote, no matter what the cause of the day, nothing ever changes.
“As a country, it’s one of our most favourite things to do: vote on something in the expectation that sod all will be done about it.”
With Parliament having already agreed to forget that it agreed to the EU referendum result, and now voting today on whether it agrees with a Government voted in to enact the referendum result, the Government is expected to ignore everything. And call another election.
Government adviser Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s quite simple. Parliament will vote and then we will decide whether to hold an election to confirm the result of the last election, which was held after the referendum vote, which itself was a pledge of the election before that.
“Surely everyone understands the logic behind this?
There was widespread anger today as it emerged The Queen had agreed to suspend Prince Andrew.
Opposition MPs were furious that Her Majesty had allowed the Prince to be shut down and not open to further scrutiny over his relationship with shamed Jeffrey Epstein.
Angry person Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “How dare The Queen agree to take away our right to scrutinise her son.
“This is a blatant abuse of democracy.”
However, a pal of the Duke of York explained: “Andrew is innocent but being suspended will mean no more difficult questions can be asked until well into October..”
Australia’s cricket team has revealed it will take no chances when facing the fearsome fast bowling from England’s Jofra Archer.
Batsmen will wear full-body armour to protect them from the type of short ball that struck skipper Steve Smith on the neck in the Second Test at Lords. He batted on but missed the final day’s play with delayed concussion.
Analysts say Archer strikes a batsman in the body or head once every ten overs or so.
Luckily, nobody has been seriously hurt but the latest blow to Smith, who has thankfully made a full recovery and might still play in the Headingly Test, has raised concerns over batsman safety.
Cricket Australia has hinted it could make helmet neck guards – the type that would have protected Smith – compulsory next year.
But in the meantime, team bosses are taking no chances with the new-fangled armoured suits.
Cricket Australia spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Our players will now have no fear of being hurt by Jofra Archer and his fiery deliveries.
“However, we have to admit the protection does make it quite difficult for the batsmen to see anything. And running between the wickets is going to be a little slower, too.
“We also hope it doesn’t rain, or the suits will rust.”
Slots may not have the most glamorous look, but they are the most popular casino games and some of the biggest wins come from these games. They are not only easy to play but have a low risk, high reward ratio. With the introduction of progressive jackpots, the possible winnings for a single spin have increased astoundingly. This has resulted in players (online and offline) winning jackpots that have turned them into multimillionaires.
The excitement surrounding progressive jackpots is because they increase every time that slot game is played until one lucky player wins it all. How this works is, a percentage of each bet placed in a spin is stored in a pot – the jackpot. If the jackpot is won, it resets itself to a set initial amount that then increases with every play. Do you want to try your luck at Casino Dames?
Online Progressive Jackpots
Online casinos have revolutionised the gambling industry and have prizes that rival those offered in real-world casinos. The world record for the largest online slot win is £13.2 million, which was won by a Jon Heywood in Britain back in 2015. He won the Mega Moolah jackpot.
There was also an Australian player (who chose to remain anonymous) that pocketed a whopping $10.4 million Australian dollars whilst playing the Dark Knight slot. This game has since been discontinued as a result of licensing issues.
PokerStars Casino has recently introduced a few slots with progressive jackpots. The smallest jackpot is valued at over $1 million. Since January 2017, 12 millionaires have emerged on slots, coming to an accumulative $23.6 million in progressive jackpots. The most recent winner was an online player (Anchor72) that won more than $3 million on Millionaires Island.
Vegas Winnings
Online slots offer the opportunity to win massive jackpots, however, the largest slot wins have come from the Megabucks machines in Las Vegas. These machines are operated by the state, and there are over 700 of them around Nevada. These all link to create a progressive jackpot that presently stands at a minimum of $10 million. The most recent winning jackpot was $11.8 million.
For the first time in 1998, the Megabucks jackpot reached over $20 million when a retired flight attendant placed a bet higher than intended in Palace Station. This player certainly did not regret their bet of $300 as it won a return of $27.5 million. The next year, at Caesars Palace, the Megabucks paid out $21 million – after one spin that cost a measly $10!
The largest recorded slot win was by a software engineer in Los Angeles. He placed a bet of $100 on the Megabucks at Excalibur back in 2003. He won the biggest jackpot Vegas ever had to offer to this day – $39.7 million. The pot had to be paid out in annual instalments of $1.5 million over 25 years.
A Tale of Misfortune
New Yorker, Katrina Bookman was a patron at the Resort World Casino and was playing on the slots when she was presented a winning ticket of $42.9 million. This was almost the largest casino win in the history of ever, if only it was not due to a malfunction. The machine she was playing on only had a maximum winning potential of $6,500. Reports say she was offered a steak dinner by the casino as an apology, we can bet there were a more than a few complimentary cocktails sent to the table.
Slots are the games to beat if you are looking for a high return on your wagers. These games are easily understood and highly entertaining. You do not need to jet to Vegas for the big wins, you can also stay in the comfort of your home as hit it big while you’re sitting on your couch.
