A suffolk town Saxmundham is all set for Christmas with a giant naughty bouncy castle.
Pornofruit Greengrocers of Saxmundham, Suffolk – which featured in the Suffolk Gazette in October. Making the news again in the run-up to Xmas. We reported on the iconic ‘sperm-slide’ that the kinky purveyor of fruit & veg had installed in its kids’ playground to keep the little ones from getting under their horny parent’s feet as they shopped.Now, with Christmas ‘round the corner, the pervy provider of erotic food has gone one better this time with a giant con’n’nuts bouncy castle.
Customers visiting the store yesterday were amazed and slightly overwhelmed at the sight of a giant bouncy castle. Endowed with a 12ft inflatable male member and two enormous squishy testicles. The playground attraction, dubbed ‘coc’n’nuts’ castle’ by regulars made an instant splash as children,.some as young as three, happily climbed, and swung off of the oversized cock and bounced on the nuts while their adults neglectfully shopped inside.
Shagging on a bouncy castle
Pornofruit owner & manageress, Lolita Feelgood (65) told this reporter ”Since you last came,.business has been steady but with Xmas coming we thought we could benefit from a promotion. The ‘coc’n’nuts castle’ fits well with our brand which is all about fruit, veg, nuts, and shagging etc. So we’re very happy with it.”
Christmas is cumming
This reporter asked Feelgood if she had any special products in store this Christmas? “The new range of ‘big, fat green cocks’ (cucumbers) is selling well and we are expanding the veg range with Xmas.classics like Brussels Sprouts which we are marketing as ‘Elfs’ Gonads’.
Nuts are popular this time of year and we have the full selection which we are selling in small sacks as – you guessed it – ‘Reindeer Nuts’. In the fruit department, we are paying tribute to the big man who endures freezing temperatures in his draughty sleigh each year, with our ‘Santa’s Frosted Goolies’ which are prunes (shriveled plums) dusted with sugar. Pop a couple of those in your mouth and it’ll really get the Christmas party started!”
Happy Christmas to the customers and staff of Pornofruit, Saxmundham!
A genius man in Suffolk has invented a remedy to cure liver diseases with orange juice and listerine.
When President Trump suggested that injecting disinfectant inside people could be a treatment for coronavirus. It wasn’t the first time home cures and remedies for serious conditions have been promoted and suggested to the gullible or desperately ill.
Invented in 1851, Gripe Water was prescribed to babies with teething pains or colic. With an alcohol content of up to 9%, it’s hardly surprising that the babas felt better after a few spoonfuls.
Drinking one’s own urine has also long been considered a healthy pass time. Despite there being no scientific evidence to support the idea. It certainly isn’t a cure for halitosis (bad breath).although that didn’t stop the Romans from using their piss (which is yellow) to aid teeth whitening. Idiots.
Liver diseases are now curable
Now, an amateur scientist from Chillesford, East Suffolk has posted a Tok ToK video claiming that Listerine Coolmint Antibacterial Mouthwash can ‘clean the liver’. and act as ‘a cure for alcohol-related liver diseases’. Hmmmmm.
We decided to test the theory…
Bob, the security guard at the Suffolk Gazette head office is clearly an alcoholic with serious liver diseases. He has all the usual symptoms: blotchy red face, bloodshot piggy eyes, trembling hands,.a wobbly gait, and, most telling of all, he opens his mouth to speak about 5 seconds before he actually says anything.
This reporter, and a couple of the editorial Staff took Bob down to the White Horse in town,.and lined up a pint with a Southern Comfort chaser on the bar in front of him. After distracting him for a moment by gesturing towards landlady Carols’ fit ass,.Terry & I spiked both his drinks with mouthwash from the travel-sized bottles of Listerine we had secreted in our coat pockets. All we had to do now was wait.
Four and a half hours later…
Wl. Weev bin in th PUB forabpout FiVe hours nooooow. I am totally WANKRD. tErry has GHone round the back with CARol aND is Givin HER wun up ThE SHitTer. Bob IS Still seated AT t he BAAAAArR and LoOks fine Tommy. Either LISteriNe Izzz acure For CANCER , errrr, I MeAN AlcoHoLismmmm, orrrrr It MAked IT WORSE!?!!
An unshaven, unemployed and unattractive man was spotted eating raw meat while traveling in a local bus in Ipswich.
To the eyewitness’s horror, a stereotypical Englishman (unshaven, unkempt appearance, bad clothes, unattractive figure, unemployed, etc). Peeled back the film cover of the packet,.picked up a lump of raw beef, popped it in his mouth, and ate it. All without washing his hands. Dirty bastard.
Is eating raw meat normal?
Ahh. The French. What a curious race of people they are. On the one hand elegant, refined, stylish, a la mode, but, on the other, utterly disgusting.– hairy armpits, spitting at the opera and cheating at everything. What cannot be denied, however, is that whatever the French do.– good or bad – it is always done with a certain je ne sais quoi. Take steak tartare, for example. The raw preparation of beef (or horsemeat) that is commonly served in French bistros, brasseries, and cafes. Being French, the dish is lovingly served garnished with onions,.capers, mushrooms, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and other choice seasonings and finished off with a raw egg yolk on top. Aah… exquisite!
Consume today, cook tomorrow
Now consider the English. Apart from Jeremy Paxman (who could easily have played James Bond), Fiona ‘Fifi’ Bruce (part English) and, perhaps Carol Vorderman (Welsh), the English are generally considered to be lacking in style – this doesn’t include punk rockers (of whom Fifi Bruce was once an example) or tweed of course. Everything the English do is done in a hurry with corners cut and no attention given to detail. The English don’t care if something is badly presented or doesn’t work properly, so long as it can be purchased online in the next five minutes and consumed today or latest tomorrow – ideally before midday.
Take for example the passenger who spotted eating raw meat,.boarded the Nacton Nipper bus in Ipswich at 4.40 p.m. last Wednesday afternoon. According to an eyewitness, the man had not been riding the bus for more than two minutes when he reached into his shopping bag and pulled out a vacuum-sealed packet of minced beef.
France 10 – 0 England
Now I don’t know about you valued reader, but given the choice, I would rather eat a heavily garlic-infused candlelit meal of raw horsemeat opposite French footballer, crap actor, and waffling pseudo-intellectual, Eric Cantona than I would sit beside the man on that bus who was seen eating raw meat.
Eric: You know, the English like love, but the French… we make love!
Health concerns are causing people to rely more on organic products; organic products are becoming more popular. Researchers and scientists are redesigning old-age products, making them more convenient today.
Plant compounds dominate the organic market for products made from organic ingredients. Those who use these products rely on their subtle effects to improve their quality of life due to their subtle effects. In recent years, MIT45 Kratom has come up with some of the most potent of all Kratom liquids and has seen a surge in popularity.
However, several people need help finding a reliable source of Kratom powder. Among the highly reputable brands, MIT45 Kratom provides kratom liquid extracts, which comes in liquid form and capsules. MIT45, on the other hand, serves both beginners and advanced users with the best kratom leave products and the powders it offers to meet the requirements of both groups. Consequently, if you are searching for original Kratom powder and are looking for a trustworthy vendor, this article may interest you.
Understanding MIT45 Kratom
The tropical tree native to Southeast Asia is known as Kratom, and all of MIT45’s Kratom is sourced from that region. Southeast Asia is the origin of the Kratom tree. Undoubtedly, MIT45 Kratom is becoming a popular psychoactive brand since it offers superior customer service and numerous delivery options.
As a relatively new player in the kratom scene, MIT45 Kratom has attracted a large following relatively quickly thanks to its liquid kratom products. MIT45 is a brand with a unique name that gives them its competitive edge. Alkaloid 45 represents the power of the product’s alkaloid. In a way, it’s a bit genius since “Mit” stands for Mitragyna, the type of tree known to grow Kratom leaves, and Mitragynine, the active alkaloid in Kratom.
It is worth mentioning that 45 percent is the highest compound ratio available today among the many Mitragyna products. MIT45 offers a wide variety of liquid kratom extracts with high levels of high-quality, potent alkaloid compounds.
In addition to being very proud of the quality of the liquid kratom shots they offer as a company, they emphasize that they also strive to bring tranquility and peace to those who buy the kratom extract shots products from them.
What Makes MIT45 The Most Reliable Option?
In the early stages of a brand’s development, you might hesitate to trust it. However, no one can guarantee that a brand that has existed for many years has been providing you with good quality products for your family and friends. MIT45 offers a wide range of organic Kratom leaves products, so if you do not try any of these, you are missing out on a pure extract combined. They also make Liquid Kratom extract shots which may include 100% organic Maeng Da Kratom plant, making them one of the most potent Kratom powders on the market.
However, you may also trust the brand because of the company’s values, aside from its ‘best-in-the-market’ liquid Kratom products. Let’s see what makes MIT45 different from other brands.
The MIT45 liquid kratom shot has already made MIT45 one of the best-known brands in kratom.
MIT45 kratom is becoming a trendy brand for many reasons, a few of which are described below.
Available Varieties Of Kratom Liquid Extracts In MIT45 Store
Currently, everyone is looking for the perfect one. MIT45, the brand specializing in kratom products, now offers its customers a range of MIT45 kratom extracts following the pandemic. New users can be attracted to the market by providing available varieties of liquid kratom.
Among all the varieties in the emerging kratom industry, MIT45 liquid kratom shots are pretty impressive. As Kratom powder has no flavor or taste, it cannot be used as an additive in food. As well as this, you can also get a sense of how the extract shots taste when you’re using them simultaneously.
Kratom Shots From MIT45 Are Of The Highest Quality
There are several reasons why MIT45 Liquid Kratom shot is distinguished from other Kratom brands, including its GMP certifications and its use of high-quality Kratom leaves. Furthermore, these Kratom shots are tested for quality and safety in our labs, using advanced techniques and procedures, which makes them suitable for human consumption in a controlled amount. Several Kratom extracts are available, including extracts from White Vein, Green Vein, Red Vein, and many others.
The packaging of high-quality products complements the quality of the products as well. As MIT45 Liquid Kratom extracts are packed in an airtight container, they cannot be eroded by outside elements. Kratom shots of premium quality are also durable, so they retain their quality even during shipping.
The Liquid Kratom From MIT45 Is Organic And Derived From The Kratom Tree
It is only possible to guarantee that brands that have existed for many years will provide you with high-quality products. With Kratom products from MIT45, you are providing your customers with a product that has an organic quality. Furthermore, the Liquid Kratom bottles contain the vast majority of Maeng da Kratom inside that is grown organically, making the user feel more invigorated by the product.
Customer Service Is Better At MIT45
Kratom shots are available in regular capsules and standard leaf extract, and Kratom shots require knowledge of the ingredients. Due to Mitragynine and aminophylline, two of the most potent alkaloids in kratom, these shots are a bit more expensive.
If you are using liquid kratom shots, you are responsible for ensuring you do not ingest any substances since liquid kratom shots can contain a robust and energetic component.
Availability, Legality Status, And FDA Assessment Of MIT45 Kratom
As a dietary supplement, kratom extract, also known as kratom shot, is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration. The FDA’s approved kratom research is in process since it contains all-natural active ingredients such as Mitragyna Speciosa. The use of Kratom products is not recommended for internal consumption.
cGMP Facilitated The Production
A GMP certificate or practice certification ensures a safe and effective production facility.
If you are trying to find the perfect liquid kratom extract, MIT45 products are a great choice since they are made under strict safety restrictions with full restrictions.
The company’s certificate will likely be revoked unless it undergoes regular screening and strict checks.
Shipping Policy
Regarding international shipments, MIT45 can only ship liquid kratom extract to users in the United States. Moreover, the brand does not ship Kratom to the following US states, counties, and cities which are banned from purchasing Kratom, such as Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Sarasota County (FL), Union County (FL), and San Diego. Furthermore, the brand only allows customers over 18 to purchase products from the brand’s website.
For bulk orders in selected areas, they offer same-day delivery as part of their free shipping offer. Some countries where MIT45 does not ship are Australia, Burma, Finland, etc.
Satisfaction Guarantee
MIT45 understands that a customer builds a brand, so they guarantee 100% satisfaction to all kratom users. However, if the user is not fully satisfied after using products from MIT45, they can contact their customer service within 30 days to avail of a full refund, and no questions will be asked.
What Is The Best Way To Consume MIT45 Extract?
There are a couple of things kratom users need to be aware of when using MIT45 Kratom extract, mainly because it is a concentrated version containing all the kratom alkaloids. Starting small and increasing gradually is the best course of action for beginners.
Gradually increase the amount of food you consume once you’ve gotten used to the taste. MIT45 extract is typically sold in retail stores as a liquid or tincture that can be consumed for opioid withdrawal symptoms, and you may experience nausea when you consume it.
Initially, your body will feel cold, but as the effect sets in, you will feel it warm. It can make you feel dizzy when you consume it. There is also the possibility of your tongue feeling numb as well.
Aside from its analgesic effects, it should also provide calming effects in the short term. Undoubtedly, only some people’s bodies will react similarly to MIT45 extract in the same way.
Individuals differ in how effective a given dose is, so one person’s dose may not be helpful for another. Please watch out for any symptoms that seem out of the ordinary and watch out for them.
MIT45 Kratom Powder Dosage
For beginners, starting with a small dose of Kratom or related products is highly recommended if you are new to the herb and would like to try it out for the first time, as that would be the most helpful tip we can provide for you. Kratom tea is another option that one may wish to consider.
Your body will be able to get used to leaf Kratom much more easily if you begin with a small dose of the supplement.
Users of Kratom capsules who are new to Kratom should ensure they proceed consistently to avoid overusing Kratom leaf and overdosing on Kratom capsules.
Kratom capsules may lead to unwanted side effects if taken in excess or used in ways that do not adhere to the suggested dosage.
Get To Know MIT45 Kratom Products And Strains.
New users easily need clarification on the wide variety of products available when they first try kratom capsules. The difference between the kratom from the red Bali vein and the kratom from the Maeng Da vein, and why is it so unique? Do kratom powders differ from kratom extracts in any way? Do they differ in any way in terms of their characteristics? Which one makes more sense: buying the Kratom capsules or buying Kratom liquid extracts?
Red, green, and white vein kratom are the main strains of kratom popular today, and you should be familiar with them.
Red Vein Kratom
A widespread strain of cannabis for pain relief, it has relaxing properties and is the best strain for relaxation.
White Vein Kratom
You tend to consume it in the morning when looking for a potential boost in energy and mood.
Green Vein Kratom
The Green Vein Kratom strain offers a unique blend of red and white veins, giving you the best of both worlds in one strain. It is a great option to start with if you are a user who is unfamiliar with Kratom.
Bali Kratom
Kratom is a plant native to the Indonesian island of Bali, hence its name, Bali Kratom.
Indo-Kratom
Indo-Kratom is a product that originates from different parts of Indonesia, despite its origin in Indonesia.
Maeng Da Kratom
There is a quality kratom that originates from Thailand called Maeng Da Kratom
Frequently Asked Questions
Does The FDA approve MIT45 Products?
MIT45 is not registered with the Drug Enforcement Administration. Still, it does have a Certificate of Analysis which certifies that the products are safe for human consumption supported the analysis certification.
What are the benefits of using MIT45 products as dietary supplements?
Kratom is not recognized as a dietary supplement by the US Food and Drug Administration.
Can anyone use MIT45 Kratom Extract?
Everyone over the age of 21 is eligible to use MIT45 products. In addition to pregnant and nursing women, anyone under the age of 21 should not take Kratom because of its potential side effects. Make sure that children are not able to access it as well.
Is shipping free at MIT45?
You will receive free shipping if you place an order over $100.
Final Thoughts
After reading all the information about Kratom shots, using Kratom leaves extract is a great way to consume these liquid kratom shots. You should pay close attention to the Kratom-based products’ labels and research the various parameters and the laws and regulations surrounding these products. To order any product from the MIT45 website, you must first check the laws in your county to be sure that you are not breaking them.
When you have followed all the above guidelines, you can sit down with your health expert for a consultation, and they will be able to guide you accordingly once you have completed all the above steps. When you select your favorite Kratom shot variant from the website, you will enjoy the trance you will have from this organic and natural product.
Poundland is hiring seasonal cashiers as it anticipates the Xmas rush. Being Poundland, expectations are low.
With the cost of living crisis cutting deeper than multiple paper cuts from the razor-sharp edge of a corrugated cardboard box. This was re-affirmed when the job ad went up in the window of its Carr Street branch on Tuesday before last…
CASHIER WANTED: MUST BE 18 YEARS OLD WITH 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE.
It’s like the blind leading the blind.
In other POUNDLAND news…
Not everything in Poundland is a pound! Yes, that’s right. Look at these items we found on the Poundland website…
Ari By Ariana Grande Edp 30ml – £20.00
Eucalyptus In Vase – £5.00
Mega Chunky Dog Rope – £3.00
Braun Silk-Epil Lady Shaver – £24.00
Staedtler Ballpoint Asst 8pk – £2.00
Unbelievable! Why doesn’t it rename itself to around-a-poundland?
In even more AROUND-A-POUNDLAND news…
As a ‘f*ck you’ ‘thank you’ for all their loyalty and hard work in 2022, all 18,000 members of Poundland’s staff will receive a £25 voucher to spend inin-storen December. A spokesman, who called us from the Bahamas said “We really appreciate how hard our colleagues work during the year, lol, and are closing our stores 5 minutes early over Christmas and New Year so they can enjoy a well-deserved 5-minute break with their family, friends, and debt collectors.”
Great. So wives and girlfriends of staff… look forward to receiving a Braun Silk-Epil Lady Shaver for Christmas. Plus anything else you want from the shop – as long as it’s a pound – which it probably won’t be.
The Twittersphere is in disarray over the new blue tick system being introduced in the wake of Elon Musk’s takeover of the platform. Popular with people who love the sound of their own sentences.
It was all so simple before! If you really were the person or entity you said you were, your account could be verified with a Blue Tick,.and your identity secured. However, since the introduction of the $8 verification purchase racket. Not only has the platform become swamped with ‘verified unofficial official blue-ticked accounts’ but the system itself has been rendered meaningless due to the universal availability of the old tick, which is now about as useful as a UK university degree.
I’m Slim Shady
Among those baffled at the new Blue Tick verification system is Lorraine Fisher, 34,.Chief Economist at the Bank of England. She told us why the financial markets were being affected by Musk’s radical intervention. “Well, when you have a situation where there are six Federal Reserve accounts all saying different things. nine heads of the European Central Bank saying something else. Then you have four Japanese Finance Ministers,.two of whom want the Yen to rally against the Dollar, and two of whom want the opposite. And least helpful of all, there are two Brazils. Yes… two of Brazil. The country – both claiming to be the real Brazil. It’s a complete SNAFU. We don’t know who to believe!”
In an attempt to sort out the identity chaos that has erupted since the tick fee was introduced,.Musk’s team has decided to do something about it. How do you solve a problem caused by a Blue Tick? With another tick of course!
Blue Tick but Money for nothing
Twitter is soon to launch the ‘Official label’ – a grey tick with the word ‘Official’ stuck under the profile username. The new tick looks exactly the same as the old blue tick. A little checkmark inside a circle, except the verified circle is filled blue and the new grey one is a less substantial outline only. Some people say Musk is cleverer than Einstein. In getting thousands of people to purchase utterly worthless digital blue ticks at $8 dollars a pop, I think he just proved it.
Filling the role of England manager, certainly in the men’s game, is about as thankless a task as it is possible to find. Win, and the general consensus will be that you were expected to with so much talent at your disposal. Suffer the indignity of defeat and comparisons to root vegetables will be drawn as tales of your demise dominate the front and back pages.
It is in many ways surprising that anybody puts their name forward to fill one of the warmest hot-seats in international sport. Plenty, though, continue to cling to the belief that they are the right candidate to bring football home.
Remit
Sir Alf Ramsey – our @FIFAWorldCup-winning manager – was born on this day in 1920.
One man has, of course, already delivered on that remit. Alf Ramsey guided the Three Lions to global glory on home soil back in 1966, with the Jules Rimet Trophy gloriously hoisted aloft at Wembley Stadium. Gareth Southgate, who has England earning favour within World Cup tips ahead of the 2022 finals in Qatar, came close to emulating Ramsey’s efforts at Euro 2020, only to discover once again that England and penalty shootouts are a recipe for disaster.
Near misses have been a common theme over the course of the last 56 years, with ever-more elaborate ways discovered of fluffing lines when the carrot of ultimate success appeared easier to grab than to let slip through collective fingers.
Maybe the powers that be at Football Association headquarters have been going about it all wrong. They have tried proven tacticians, up-and-coming coaches and those that have delivered major silverware outside of English football. None have been able to satisfy the cravings of a success-starved nation.
Ramsey remains the only man to get his hands on a trophy, while Bobby Robson came as close as anybody to repeating those heroics at the 1990 World Cup. He guided England to the semi-finals on Italian soil before starting the unfortunate trend of spot-kick failures that has dragged on to this day.
Robson was, however, to become a Knight of the Realm, much like Ramsey before him. The only men to have managed England and become Sirs have more than international coaching in common, with both having seen triumphs at Ipswich Town earn them the right to fill the most prominent of roles.
Ramsey oversaw a historic First Division title win at Portman Road in 1962, while Robson savoured European glory when claiming the UEFA Cup in 1981.
Recipe
50 years ago today – Sir Bobby Robson was appointed #itfc manager.
A recipe for success is clear for all to see. If England want to challenge for prestigious honours and prove themselves capable of rubbing shoulders with the very best in the business, then attention needs to be turned towards Suffolk.
Why has nobody thought of this before? Given how well Ramsey and Robson fared in the top job, it is clear that a winning formula can only be found when luring a manager away from Ipswich and handing them notoriously problematic reins. With that in mind, as questions are asked of Southgate’s ongoing presence, Kieran McKenna is surely the only logical choice when the FA lines up its next appointment.
Roads were blocked today, caused a huge traffic chaos after a Suffolk road digger,.a dumb-ass meatball of a man who displayed two signs pointing in opposite directions, directing drivers to the same place.
Did you ever wake up in the morning, unsure of exactly where you are? Or wander aimlessly around a supermarket lacking purpose and direction? Or how about try an alternative route home from work to no avail? Yes?…
Welcome to Suffolk
That’s what it feels like all the time here.
Especially when you’re driving. Britain is well known for its lack of user-friendliness. Frequently referred to as ‘rip-off Britain’. The country that we all like to believe is ‘green and pleasant’,.‘full of animal lovers’, ‘the home of democracy’, is, in actual fact, as we all know from our everyday experiences, a harsh, unsympathizing fortress of them – against us. ‘Them’ is usually rich people, whom with neither bad conscience nor shame,.hoover up the nation’s wealth and hoard it for themselves and their disgusting, spoiled offspring, leaving the rest of us to fight it out, scrabbling around for scraps in the putrid squalor of modern, dogmuck Britain.
What caused traffic chaos?
But more and more, it seems that ‘them’ is also – thick people. Really thick, stupid people like the politicians who at great expense to the public,.book aeroplanes to fly people to Rwanda but then can’t get them off the ground. Like the policemen and women who claim to want to catch criminals,.protect the public and serve the community but whom you only ever really see hiding behind trees aiming mobile speed cameras at you. Like the doctors whose surgeries are as easy to access as underground nuclear bunkers and like the person who invented the automated telephone answering systems used by all modern multinational corporations. Wankers.
Goitrous Schmucks
And so we return to Suffolk. Birthplace of the utterly incompetent, subhuman cretin. And there is nothing and no-one more incompetent and cretinous than a Suffolk County Council-employed road digger. A dufus who will park his van or flatbed truck on the road in front of you as if your vehicle can molecularly deconstruct and reappear further up the road. A butt-head-douchebag of a twerp who sets up a three-way traffic light system that permits an endless stream of cars to pass from all the other directions but only allows a 5-second window of opportunity for one or two of the cars a mile ahead of your stationary vehicle to proceed.
