Saturday, June 10, 2023

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Essex woman stares at bottle for six hours

By Suffolk Gazette Staff

A blonde Essex woman has complained to a drinks manufacturer after claiming she was forced to stare at a bottle of orange squash for six hours.

Chelsea Gooch, 24, sat at her kitchen table looking at the bottle for most of Thursday, and was late for work.


She fumed: “I unpacked my bags after getting home from Lidl and put the orange on the table. It quite clearly said ‘concentrate’ on the label so that’s what I did.

“But nothing happened, no matter how hard I tried. It is very disappointing.”

Drink maker OJ Sampson told the Suffolk Gazette: “We did receive a complaint from a woman who had misunderstood our packaging. We advised her accordingly, but we’re not sure she took it all in.”

Ms Gooch, who is an executive assistant trainee administrator beauty technician from Witham, has been confused before. Keen-eyed readers may recall her embarrassment when she boasted it took her only ten months to complete a jigsaw that said “from two to five years” on the box.

She also famously complained to a shop that her new scarf was too tight.

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