Schoolboy’s exam prank with condom ends in swift disciplinary action.

By Our Angling Correspondent: Courtney Pike

SUFFOLK, UK – Pupils at St. Bartholomew’s Secondary School in Little Hampton, were briefly distracted from their simultaneous equations on Thursday morning when a Year 9 student made a show of himself in front of classmates.

John Luck, 14, was midway through a maths exam when he quietly inflated a condom before placing it over his head “like a translucent crown.” The act caused what one classmate called “a ripple of silent panic amongst the goody-goody students, followed by very loud sniggering and raucous jeering.”

According to the school, the class teacher, Mr. Hedges, quickly intervened shouting “There is a time and a place for everything, BOY! And this is not it!” Hedges then removed the pupil by the ear in a swift but controlled manoeuvre, restoring order to a room described as “on the brink of algebraic collapse.”

Ginger Nut

Ginger idiot, Luck, was then escorted to reception and sent home with a handwritten note addressed to his mother, outlining the nature of the disruption for what sources say was “not the first time.”

The school issued a brief statement confirming that “appropriate action” had been taken and reminding students that examination conditions prohibit “unauthorised materials, theatrical displays, and headwear of any kind, inflatable or otherwise.”

Other parents expressed mixed reactions. One mother praised the teacher’s decisiveness, while another noted that “we always said that boy was a d*ckhead.”

Buck-toothed Luck declined to comment on the rumpus, though neighbours reported seeing him later that afternoon, flicking bogeys at local children “looking smug and unrepentant.”