Tuesday, June 11, 2024

ASDA introduces special delivery service direct to your front room

NETTLESTEAD, SUFFOLK – A routine ASDA home delivery took a disastrous turn when the driver mounted the wrong vehicle.

Expecting the familiar sight of a modest delivery van, Brenda Cowhorn. A retired clock winder-upper, from Nettlestead was taken aback when an imposing 44-tonne HGV rumbled into view.

Asda delivery panic

Dwarfing her suburban street with its sheer size. As if the incongruous sight of the behemoth vehicle wasn’t enough. The situation quickly spiralled out of control when the inexperienced driver struggled to navigate the unwieldy giant.

With panic mounting and brakes screeching, the HGV careened toward Brenda’s unsuspecting home, crashing through her front porch with a resounding thud. Caught off guard while sorting through her daily stack of junk mail. Brenda found herself propelled backwards and, in a cruel twist of fate. It impaled on her own coat rack, while the cab of the HGV careered onwards before coming to an abrupt stop in her living room.

Deadpan delivery

When questioned about her harrowing ordeal, Brenda, displaying a remarkable sense of humour in the face of adversity. She quipped to a news reporter, “When I got stuck on the coat stand. I really got the Asda price feeling. Ouch!” Her deadpan delivery elicited a mix of sympathy and laughter from bystanders, underscoring the absurdity of the situation.

As emergency services worked to extricate Brenda from her coat rack predicament and assess the damage to her home. Medics kept her comfortable by feeding her Cheese & Onion Crisps, a pint of milk, and a pack of processed corned beef, straight off of the back of the lorry.

Meanwhile, Harrods-style Asda delivery van fools Aldeburgh toffs

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