Monday, May 27, 2024

63 years old man flies to Ibiza for party, with ASDA bag in hand

63 years old man flies to Ibiza for party, with ASDA bag in hand
63 years old man flies to Ibiza for party, with ASDA bag in hand

A 63-year-old dad from Ipswich, Suffolk, embarked on a journey that would take him far from home with only ASDA bag in hand. His intended destination – the dancefloor of Pacha nightclub in Ibiza. 24-hour party dad swaps chill zone for warzone.

Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

With a passport in one hand and an ASDA carrier bag, containing nothing but a change of clothes. In the other, Frank Gazebo, a casualty from the 90’s rave scene, had one thing on his mind – raving it up at top nightclub, Pacha.

His sole intention? To hit the dance floor, feel the music, and be back in the UK within 24 hours. What could possibly go wrong?

Sorted for E’s, whizz and white phosphorous

The trouble started when Frank arrived at Stansted Airport. Perhaps it was the excitement of the impending rave, or maybe it was the effect of “the few beers” he enjoyed in the departure lounge. Mistakenly, a half-cut Gazebo boarded the wrong flight.

Instead of Ryanair flight RY746 to Ibiza, he settled down on AEROFLOT flight ARX58 to Donetsk International Airport – situated in the middle of the warzone between Russia and Ukraine.

While a good night’s dance beneath the laser-beam lights in Ibiza might have been the plan. Dancing between the missile explosions and blinding white phosphorous in Ukraine was not definitely what Gazebo had in mind.

Collapsing house music

Desperate as I was to get an on-the-spot scoop direct from Gazebo. But too cowardly to actually visit the front line. I switched on BBC News 24 and listened to what Kate Adie had to say live from the Donbas… “When I spoke to Gazebo, it was obvious he had no choice but to come to terms with his new reality,”. Relayed a stoic Adie from between exploding artillery shells and collapsing buildings. “Instead of neon lights and thumping beats. His soundtrack was the distant rumble of artillery fire and the cacophony of conflict. Glow sticks had been replaced with emergency flares, and instead of DJs, there were soldiers manning checkpoints.” – What a pro.

As Frank Gazebo finds himself trapped in a nightmare amidst the tumultuous events in the Donbas region. He will have plenty of time to practice the new dance move he has been forced to add to his repertoire. The geopolitical hot shoe shuffle between war-torn borders.

Must read: When your dad dies, it’s sad. Very sad. Unless of course your dad was a complete bastard

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