UK manufacturer of cheap rag clothing, Shein, received a boost yesterday when the Queen of Los Angeles, Meghan Windsor, wore one of its off-the-peg dresses on a visit to Tonga with her husband, whatsisname.

The endorsement only came to light after the Queen alighted her golden jet and stepped onto the red carpet, which was reportedly woven from the hair of poor Tonganese street children who were forcibly shorn in order to make Meghan’s walk to her hotel more comfortable.

Unbeknownst to her majesty, the cheap frock’s price tag (£16.99) was seen dangling from the hem by the welcoming party who were all too embarrassed to mention it.

The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe

The Shein brand, which is known mainly for producing shittily-made, copy-cat garments manufactured by blind peasants working for rice in Chinese sweatshops, is seen as a surprise addition to Queen Meghan’s wardrobe which is predominantly filled with posh, designer togs (some of which feature a Lion Crest design) befitting of her semi-royal status and air of haughty superiority.

Toga Tag

Quite how the fashion faux pas was allowed to happen is unclear but one royal insider with knowledge of the events told this reporter that a servant of the Queen was ordered to remove her hand luggage from the aeroplane before being escorted from the airport with her arm bent up behind her back. The witness also claims that Windsor had ‘made the servants cry’ on previous occasions when deliveries of other Shein garments she had ordered arrived late at her Montecito, California palace.

A spokesperson for Shein told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE, “I’m afraid that due to a court order slapped on us by the Windsors, I am not allowed to comment, but if you are asking me if Meghan looks good in that dress, the answer is, ‘you betcha!’”