WETHERSPOONS, BURY – Wetherspoons has opened its newest restaurant in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk. Complete with toilets that are located on the 75th floor. Taking its dining to the next level.
By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Editor
The move has only served to reinforce the long-standing mythology. That Wetherspoons toilets are always strategically placed at altitudes comparable to Everest base camps.
The lofty convenience
In an impressive show of outhouse architecture, the bogs at ‘The Lofty Convenience’ Wetherspoons dining in Bury boast panoramic views of the quaint market town and the vast expanse of East Anglia.
As exhausted patrons park themselves on the lav, for a rest as much as a poo. They are greeted with breathtaking views of fields, rivers, and the occasional confused seagull. The hike up to the 75-floor is reminiscent of the gruelling spiral climb up to the whispering gallery in London’s St Paul’s Cathedral.
It’s coming out
Regular Wetherspoons clientele, known for their resilience in the face of elaborate toilet mazes. They have resigned to yet more excursions up endless staircases with their knees knocking together. “It’s a true test of commitment to your pint,” remarked one patron. Proudly wearing the “Toilet Trekker” badge he earned after successfully navigating the labyrinthine ascent up to the altitudinous crapper.
All new Wetherspoons dining
Despite the controversy, The Lofty Convenience has already become a must-visit destination for those who enjoy their pints with a side of vertigo. Rumour has it that the next Wetherspoons venture will feature toilets attached to a hot air balloon suspended above the pub roof, further solidifying the brand’s commitment to keeping patrons on their toes, or rather, on their tiptoes, as they search for the ever-elusive facilities.