Indian take-away addict sleeps on custom-baked naan bedding from local curry restaurant.

By Our Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs

LOWESTOFT, SUFFOLK — In a move that has horrified regional health inspectors, local resident Graham Grubber has unveiled a bedroom set comprised entirely of freshly baked naan bread.

The bedding—consisting of a king-sized garlic naan duvet and two Peshawari pillowcases—was custom-commissioned from The Spicy Anchor, a local Indian curry restaurant. Grubber, a self-described “carb-enthusiast” weighing in at 23 stone, claims the move was born of both passion and efficiency.

“I was tired of the midnight trek to the fridge,” Grubber explained while reclining on his lightly charred mattress topper. “Now, if I wake up feeling a bit peckish at 3:00 AM, the solution is right under my chin. It’s about streamlining the snacking process.”

The project required a specially modified tandoor oven and four chefs working in twelve-hour shifts. The duvet alone features an intricate “bubble” pattern, achieved through precise temperature control, providing what Grubber describes as “aerated, buttery insulation.”

Crumbs of Concern

However, the installation has not been without its challenges. Suffolk Fire and Rescue have reportedly expressed concerns regarding the duvet’s high ghee content, while local wildlife—including the notorious Seagull 73 — has been spotted hovering menacingly near Grubber’s bedroom window.

“The structural integrity is surprisingly sound,” says Head Chef Rajiv Gupta. “Though we did advise Mr. Grubber against using a weighted blanket made of onion bhajis, as the structural grease-seepage could compromise the bed frame.”

Grubber remains undeterred by the logistics or the rising flour prices. He is currently in talks with a local Chinese takeaway to install a bedside lamp that dispenses sweet & sour sauce.