Monday, May 20, 2024

Latest Stories

Soldiers looking forward to eliminating COVID rule breakers

British soldiers taking on COVIDIOTS
A soldier in Ipswich town centre (Photo: Defence Images under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

By Doug Trench, Defence Editor

Soldiers can’t wait to take up positions in Britain’s town centres and “take down” targets who are not wearing a mask or standing around in groups of more than six.

Squaddies say they are itching for action and are already taking bets on who can eliminate the most COVIDIOTS each day.

Private Steve Walshe said: “We have not had a good war for a while, so we’re looking forward to picking off a few numpties who won’t abide by the lockdown rules.

“The police don’t have the manpower, so the Army is on standby. Let me tell you we are ready to serve Queen and country.”

But human rights activists are fearful about having the Army on the streets, which Boris Johnson announced could happen yesterday.

Local do-gooder and general busybody, Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is a clear imposition on our civil liberties.

“One moment you are walking along the High Street, minding your own business. But because you passed someone on the pavement less than two metres away, you take a burst of machine-gun fire to the head and torso.

“It’s a bit over the top.”

Get some early Christmas gift mugs

Suffolk Gazette mugs make excellent Christmas gifts for relatives, friends and colleagues. View the complete range at Dirty Old Goat or select a mug from our items below…

🤞 Get our stories on email

Receive awesome content in your inbox, every week.

We don’t spam! Read more in our privacy policy


Most Read

Be a shining star, follow us on Twitter!