President of United Nations sending back speedos and bikinis due to them covering too much skin
Shipments of 400,000 pairs of speedos and 500,000 bikinis, as well as cornettos, suncream, umbrellas, and sunglasses have been sent back and quarantined, and Boris did nothing about it.
Boris claims it’s for health related reasons:
Boris Johnson stated, “Literally one step away from speedos and bikinis is whatever Adam and Eve were wearing. A step after that, we might as well all be naked. This is not a good example for the kids.”
The locals are gathered on Downing Street dressed in nothing but trash bags protesting, holding up signs saying, “No More Heat Waves”, “Cold Lives Matter”, “We Want Our Speedos and Heroes Back.”
The locals are furious because they knew the government could have done a lot more to avoid this situation. The government was clearly aware of the upcoming heat waves and still quarantined shipments of speedos and bikinis overseas. Boris knew all of this as well and did nothing for the citizens.
Reason behind President of United Nations decision:
What could account for the bikinis and speedos being unsafe for the people?
Was there a malfunction in the factories or general supply chain issues?
Conspiracy theorists are publishing articles in order to answer these daunting questions.
There have been photos of Boris modeling all the speedos and bikinis in a runway show. But the weird thing is that the audience were only dogs. He was putting on a show for a bunch of Doberman dogs feeding them cornettos off of his body..
Mr. Walsh, a journalist, snuck into the event and documented the whole thing. He sent the footage to the BBC in which it was televised on all platforms.
Lorraine Fisher – 34, a well respected conspiracy theorist believes that Elon Musk is behind all of this. He wants all the premium quality speedos and bikinis on the next mars fleet. They need to go into the mars atmosphere in a fashionable manner.
But wait, there’s more!
They are using speedos and bikinis for the aliens in mars. They are hosting their very first annual runway model awards for the martians. Jeff Bezos Frontier and Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic are all competing. That is why there was a call back on all the bikinis and speedos.
There is concrete proof of this:
Fisher later stated, “Why does every speedo and bikini have a mars logo and written on them, 1s Annual Marian Bikini Contest? They are clearly hosting this event and nobody is asking questions.”
Hugh Dennett, a film critic stated “They are also getting ready to film the third installment of the 300 Spartans franchise. The extras need the speedos and the bikini garments. They will also film the next Baywatch in the UK so they need all the speedos and bikinis they can get. That is why there is a shortage.”
One local said, “I just want to feel sexy in my bikini again. I hate wearing trash bags as a bikini. I feel like trash.”