Friday, December 6, 2024

Occasional furniture spends rest of the time doing sod all

Occasional furniture is lazy and workshy, a Suffolk Gazette investigation has revealed.

Our undercover reporters spent days secretly filming occasional tables, chairs and chests and found they do absolutely nothing else the rest of the time.

We watched aghast as one occasional table was happy to be used for serving breakfast for 20 minutes, but then sat there idle for the rest of the day.

“Occasional furniture has had it easy for too long,” said sofa Steve Walshe, 43. “I work all the time as a sofa and it’s about time occasional furniture shared the load.”

But Lorraine Fisher, 34, a sturdy 36-inch chest, responded: “I don’t mind my drawers being rifled occasionally, but no more.

“I’m good for occasional use in the bedroom only.”

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