Monday, June 3, 2024

Norfolk Day annual wash for locals postponed for another year

Norfolk man Bubba Spuckler will miss out on washing for another year
Norfolk man Bubba Spuckler will miss out on washing for another year

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Norfolk Day should be celebrated today with locals having their traditional annual wash.

But COVID restrictions mean the temporary communal showers are shut, so Norfolk people will have to wait another year before washing.

The news is a blow to residents in neighbouring Suffolk, who look forward to the stench from Norfolk abating for a short while after Norfolk Day.

Norfolk people famously don’t wash regularly because they are confused by the mystical world of personal hygiene.

The official annual Norfolk Day, allegedly staged to show off all that’s good about the county, is actually a cunning plan by local health officials to get people to have a shower.

Yokels frolic in communal showers erected in fields next to every settlement.

Little do they know they are being tricked into getting cleaned up once every 12 months.

Health official Lorraine Fisher, 34, who operates from the safety of Suffolk, said: “It takes Norfolk Day to trick Norfolk people into having a wash.

“Unfortunately, the current pandemic means we have to cancel this year’s wash.

“That means people won’t now have their next wash until July 2022.”

The news is the latest shocker to hit Norfolk. Only a week ago one Norfolk man claimed he would beat any hosepipe ban because he had stocked up with 47 hosepipes.

And last week a Suffolk man was up before magistrates for selling ‘powdered water’ to Norfolk gardeners keen to water their plants.

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