By Jane Seymour, Royal Editor
The Queen’s image will be removed from the £10 note because she represents everything bad about Britain’s colonial history.
The Bank of England said Britain’s empire-building ways were shameful and we should apologise to the world.
Executives are now drawing up a shortlist of who to put on the note instead, with Meghan Markle top of the list.
Bank spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The Duchess of Sussex represents everything that is good in the world. She is a true inclusive visionary.
“Anybody who disagrees with this is part of the problem.
“Unfortunately, The Queen, although a very nice person, was the ruler of an evil empire, all memories of which should be destroyed in case we upset anyone.
“Oddly, we haven’t seen social media keyboard warriers ripping up their £10 notes in protest.
“But we want to pander to their relentless woke crap anyway.”
The news comes after students at Oxford University voted to remove a print of Her Majesty from their common room because the monarch represents the country’s recent colonial history.
Support Her Maj with a mug
Show your support for the monarch with the Suffolk Gazette’s God Save The Queen mug, available from our sister site Dirty Old Goat mugs (until the woke brigade decide it hurts people’s feelings). Buy on the website or from the item below…