Sales of the Daily Mail are soaring – but not because of any new-found fondness for its journalism.
Instead, British shoppers are snapping up the rag because toilet roll is running out in the shops.
Panic buying over the coronavirus is leading to bog roll shortages – but enterprising Brits know the Daily Mail is the ideal replacement.
Shopper Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “My usual brand of soft, strong and very long lavatory paper has been cleared off the shelves by overly-worried shoppers.
“But like many others, I instead purchased a copy of the Daily Mail, which is good for nothing except wiping your arse.”
Daily Mail executives were delighted with the unexpected sales rise after suffering for years with their circulation going down the toilet.
Circulation boss Alex Howard said: “The coronavirus has been great for business.
“We’ll wipe the floor at the British Newspaper Sales Awards now.”