Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Lowestoft Yoga school stretches value for money to the limit

Lowestoft Yoga school stretches value for money to the limit
Lowestoft Yoga school stretches value for money to the limit

LOWESTOFT, SUFFOLK – A new yoga school has opened in the unlikeliest of places: a lock-up garage in the gritty streets of Lowestoft, Suffolk. Welcome to “Lower Yoga,” where the downward dog isn’t just a pose, it’s a way of life.

Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred

Nestled in the battered lock-up of Joanne Craddock, 36, a well-known local cleptomaniac. Lies a haven for those seeking inner peace amidst the chaos of everyday life. But don’t expect the serene ambience of a traditional yoga studio here. Lower Yoga embraces the grit and grime of ‘working-class’ wellness.

Guru some

Those daring to step into the ‘reception area’ of Lower Yoga are greeted by the sight of a battered old faux leather sofa with its springs poking through the worn upholstery. The lighting is provided by a solitary flickering fluorescent strip light, dangling precariously from the ceiling.

The floor, devoid of soft yoga mats and bolsters, is adorned instead with punctured lilos. Perfect for backbreaking sun salutations – and house bricks in place of the plush, cushioned variety usually found in more exclusive yoga retreats.

But it’s the soundtrack that truly sets Lower Yoga apart. Instead of the soothing strains of meditative music, members are serenaded by the cheerful melodies of nursery rhymes. Emanating from a wind-up vintage Fisher-Price record player ‘liberated’ from a local charity shop.

Om my God

Asked about her business strategy, Craddock proudly displayed her masterstroke: a homemade poster currently adorning local lamp posts. “Want to start yoga?” it reads, in DIY font. “Start by bending over and picking up your dog shit – known as the downward dog position – and then put it in a bin.”

It’s a bold move, to say the least, but Craddock is confident in her approach. “You get what you pay for here,” she declares, a glint of defiance in her eye. “None of that fancy stuff, just stretch and bend. £20 for half an hour, and you get a free bag of Wotsits on the way out.”

In a world of high-priced memberships and exclusive studios, Lower Yoga offers a refreshing reminder that money alone can’t buy inner peace.

Meanwhile: Suffolk Police buy fleet of Ford Cortinas

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