Friday, May 10, 2024

Commons sniffer dog awarded Canine OBE

Commons sniffer dog awarded Canine OBE
Commons sniffer dog awarded Canine OBE

WESTMINSTER, LONDON – A sniffer dog was seen leaping across the famous green leather commons benches as she checked the House of Commons …for bullshit.

By our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks

Barely literate Speaker of the House of Commons, Sir Lindsay Hoyle let Spaffy. A ‘bullshit detective dog’, sit in his chair as part of her sweep of the Commons. After she sniffed out a powerful odour coming from his general direction.

The super-sniffing shit-detecting labrador was awarded a “canine OBE” for her work in checking for politicians talking crap in parliament.

Sniffer dog debate

Her handler, WPC Clod, said Spaffy, now five, regularly goes into corridors. Buildings and the main debating chambers at Westminster to sniff out MPs incessant bullshit.

“We regularly clock up 8 hours a day, but with the amount of bullshit that goes on in parliament. Even that isn’t enough. Spaffy is amazing and I trust in her 100%,” she said.

Vote Labrador

Speaker Hoyle, famous for stumbling over even the most basic of sentences. While simultaneously losing control of MPs in the house keeps pets himself, including a parrot called ‘Stalin’ and a 16kg tortoise called ‘Kinnock’.

“I, I, well I felt, as I said, honoured to, to, like I said, meet with Spaffy and whatever her handler is called, er … PC Clod – who are both a brave and, like I said, talented double act.” Hoyle told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE as Spaffy sniffed fervently at his trouser leg.

“We are fortunate to, like I said, have police dogs like, er, er, Spaffy conducting daily searches in Parliament. Ensuring the safety of the public by preventing MPs, on both sides of the house, from talking bollocks.

It’s only upon learning about the work of Spaffy and her fellow canine companions that one truly. I mean this most sincerely, grasps the importance of their efforts in safeguarding us all from verbal diarrhoea. Like I said.”

Meanwhile: Chocolate labrador destroys family trampoline

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