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Lewis Hamilton to set Rudy Giuliani on BBC if he loses SPOTY

The 15th of November 2020 was a landmark day for Lewis Hamilton as he matched Michael Schumacher’s record of seven Formula One world titles.

It was a momentous day back on the British Isles and the world’s media descended on high-streets across the land to interview Lewis’ proud countrymen. “Can’t be arsed”, was the general response from most of the public, who were far more concerned that Mason Mount was going to start ahead of Jack Grealish during a meaningless international football match on the same day.

But how has it come to this? Why have Hamilton’s countrymen shunned a man who grew up in the slums of Stevenage and brought so much pride to a nation? It’s an absolute disgrace and, if anything, the English public should be down on bended knee thanking Lewis for all he does for the country from his penthouse in the heavily-taxed paradise of Monaco.

Of course, with the Sports Personality of the Year awards coming up, the BBC SPOTY odds tell a different story and make the man who is best friends with Justin Bieber out to be very popular. He is odds on favourite at 8/11 to win it after all. However, we all know, as we face the prospect of having to acquire visas on our European summer holidays from 2021 onwards, what a fool’s game it is predicting the outcome of a public vote.

However, despite the latest positive odds, the public’s indifference to Hamilton’s success isn’t lost on the Formula One driver and neither is the possibility that he may not win BBC’s Sports Personality of the Year award. That’s given that, in reality, he is about as likeable as the neglected toffee finger in the Quality Street packet on Boxing Day.

In fact, the results of a recent YouGov poll have suggested that the British public would vote for former Number 10 adviser Dominic Cummings ahead of Lewis Hamilton if given the choice. It’s unclear if the Great British public knew that Cummings was ineligible for the title as he was not a sportsman. Perhaps they thought his road trip to Barnard Castle automatically qualified him as a professional driver. Who knows?

With this damming poll in mind, the word coming from Hamilton’s camp is that the 35-year-old has already sounded out Donald Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, should he not be crowned the winner of the award. 

Giuliani, recent star of Borat 2 and Trump’s personal lawyer, has been fighting tooth and nail on behalf of the POTUS in the bid to shine a light on the fact that, in spite of official results and ballots counted, the Donald actually won at the polls.

Hamilton is said to have been exceptionally impressed at Giuliani’s ability to cast doubt over whether the sky is even blue, and feels that he is the right man to help him with SPOTY, once the inevitable voter fraud has taken place. Trump has even weighed in on Lewis’s decision to call in his top dog and has said: “Lewis is a great champion, some say the best champion ever, Lewis makes Michael Schumacher look slower than Joe Biden before his afternoon siesta, and the British public would be making a YUGE mistake should they not vote for him.”

Could Lewis be claiming a victory from the jaws of defeat? Or a victory from the jaws of victory? It’s 2020 – who can predict it?

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