Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Leave Santa a substantial meal or he can’t visit next week

Santa needs a substantial meal

Britain’s children have been told to leave out a substantial meal for Santa on Christmas Eve because a measly mince pie flouts the rules.

Kids usually leave out a snack and a glass of sherry for Father Christmas and a carrot for Rudolph, even though that’s a little unfair on the other reindeer.

But this year, for Santa to be allowed anywhere near your home, he must do so while consuming a substantial meal.

Government spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Four scotch eggs should do the trick. He is absolutely not allowed a drink without a substantial meal.

“But a mince pie won’t cut it. It will just encourage the coronavirus to spread and that won’t do.”

Asked whether Santa can cope with tens of millions of substantial meals in one night, Ms Fisher added: “Well he looks like he can put it away.”

Last call for Christmas mugs

There are just a few days left to order your Suffolk Gazette mugs and get them delivered in time for Christmas. Order direct from Dirty Old Goat or from our mug selection below…

🤞 Get our stories on email

Receive awesome content in your inbox, every week.

We don’t spam! Read more in our privacy policy

Be a shining star, follow us on Twitter!