Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Lewis Hamilton forces Mercedes to power F1 cars with cabbages

Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton has finally agreed to race for Mercedes F1 next season, but only after the team agreed to run its cars on cabbages.

The British racing star is famous for his concerns about the environment.

He decided he could no longer be seen driving around in circles in a car that does about six miles to the gallon.

To secure his signature for another season, the Mercedes F1 team had to reluctantly agree to develop an engine that runs on cabbages.

They have kept their new environmentally-friendly Grand Prix car under wraps, and it is not known how well it will perform.

Mercedes insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “What we can tell you is that we do not use white cabbages to fuel the car, because Lewis felt that was not diverse enough.

“And Savoy cabbages were ruled out because they sound too posh. Lewis likes to think he comes from a poor background in Stevenage.

“Instead, we have developed the engine to run on red cabbages, as not even he can argue with that while he relaxes in his Monte Carlo home.”

The cabbage car will debut when the F1 season starts in Bahrain on March 28.

“It will be quite hot in Bahrain,” said Ms Fisher. “So you wouldn’t want to be following our cabbage car because it might pong a bit.”

Hamilton will be gunning for his record-setting eighth world championship title, but the first driving an F1 car powered by a vegetable.

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