Movie star and telly actor, Martin Freeman (you know… the bloke from ‘The Office’) has announced that he is giving up showbiz to become a bin man.
Yes, we know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true… kind of. Oh, okay, it’s not true at all, but it could be. Want to know why? Because Martin Freeman is… wait for it… A socialist! Yes, we know it sounds unbelievable but it is true… kind of. Oh, okay, it’s not true at all, but it could be.
Martin Freeman, whose net worth is estimated to be a cool £20 million, and who owns a big, ugly-looking £5 million house in London’s exclusive Belsize Park area, could be a Socialist if he really wanted to be, and apart from the extravagant, Tory-style choice of home and bank balance, the signs are there that he is thinking about it.
What signs?
First of all, Martin Freeman dumped his rabid, loonie-left wife and former co-star, Amanda Abbindon, Abbington or whatever her name is, presumably for someone less uptight. Freeman and whatsername – a former bit-part player in ‘The Bill’, and ‘Casualty’ – starred together in real life as well as hit BBC detective thriller ‘Sherlock’ which had all white actors in the lead roles.
The two filthy-rich left-wingers had planned to remain married until Freeman realized that it was completely untenable for the two of them to keep turning up at anti-Brexit rallies, soup kitchens, and other poor people’s events when they had so much money and jewels of their own. The fact that Abindon comes across as an overbearing, hypocritical snob probably helped Freeman make up his mind.
The other sign is that Freeman has set up a proper working-class, leftie trash removal business with his working-class, Tory-supporting mates – Dan & Nick – called ‘Lord of the Bins’ which only requires ‘One Ring to move it all.’ We thought that the trash had already been moved when he dumped Abbigdonton, but clearly not.
Tory, or not Tory? That is the question.
This reporter snuck up to the bin van while it was parked outside Freeman’s house to search for clues that might reveal whether he was going to become a real socialist or remain a Tory.
What I saw shocked me. The van was not filled – as I had expected it to be – with wads and wads of cash being thrown away by a man about to renounce his own grotesque wealth, no. Rather, it had some ladies shoes, handbags, clothes, some old opened love letters (which appeared to have been torn in two), and least surprisingly of all, a pair of tickets to ‘The Unfriend’ starring Amanda Abbington at the Criterion Theatre in London’s West End.
Exclusive London departmental store, Sellfridges is going downmarket… fast.
Following in the footsteps of BP, Amazon Prime, National Rail, all the major telecommunications companies, and the Labour Party, previously unaffordable Sellfridges, has finally turned its back on its posh clientelle in favour of screwing hard-up, working people into the ground in order to make a fast buck.
Gone are the £185 food hampers, £850 Jaquemus puffy leather shoulder bags, and the £150 Fiorucci jogging bottoms, in favour of a budget range of essential white goods including: £190 Beko refrigerators, £150 nearly-new Bush washing machines, and job lot of refurbished Casdon Microwave Ovens at the knock-down price of £16.99 each. Alan Sugar must be shitting himself.
Unaffordable crap
Opened in black and white in 1909, Sellfridges, located at 400 Oxford Street, London, is regarded as the second most exclusive shopping emporium in the capital after ‘Arrods on the High St, Walthamstow, East London. Famous for its window displays, condescending cosmetics assistants, and highly effeminate men’s dept staff, the vast, unwelcoming superstore has finally decided to ‘stack ‘em high and sell ‘em cheap’, as its traditional wealthy clients realize they can’t really afford anything in there either.
We asked one Oxford St shopper if she would be more likely to shop in Sellfridges now that they stock mainly cheap, designed-to-break trash. Naomi N’Gulanga from Hackney told this reporter “Nuh (kisses teeth). Heverytime mi gwaana dat shap, dem white hussies luk at mi as eff mia ah cleaner ah summat (kisses teeth). Mi prefer tuh shop at Marsha’s ier & Beauty Salon eena Hackney, an eff mi waan tuh buy ah fridge, mi wi gwaana fucking Curry’s.”
PayPal’s long-term dominance of the digital payment market as we know it appears to be under imminent threat, according to reports.
The e-wallet faces competition from a plethora of big banks, who are working on their own plans to come up with a digital wallet to roll out to consumers.
Early Warning Services LLL, the company that is the brains behind the money-transfer service Zelle, will operate this new digital wallet, and it will be separate from the work they do with Zelle.
It has also been speculated that this new product could be rolled out in the second half of the year, and there are just a few details that need to be ironed out first.
But what does this mean for PayPal, and how will it compete? PayPal has become a trusted payment provider, and since it exploded onto the scene in 1998, it has been used all over the world. Individuals use PayPal to settle invoices for work undertaken with other businesses, while some will use it to pay friends and family, and there are a few that rely on it to do online shopping, and it is a secure payment method.
The Typical way to pay:
Yet we can also see how PayPal has become commonly used in other industries. In the travel industry, for example, travellers can opt to check out with PayPal in renown websites like Expedia, Hotels.com, and Agoda. While punters can find a myriad top rated PayPal casinos that accept this option for making deposits and withdrawals. Among them includes LeoVegas and Casushi casino, where you can expect speedy payouts, and you will be spoilt for choice when it comes to slot titles to play.
In the meantime, PayPal is facing up to the prospect of replacing their CEO, as the current incumbent Dan Schulman will stand down at year-end.
Growth has slowed down a lot over the past few months, and for those connected to PayPal, it may seem like an unsettling time.
Although talk of a new e-wallet being created poses a risk to the long-term dominance of PayPal, the company needs to adjust and make sure it stays relevant.
Conclusion:
Rather than perceived it as being a threat, they should embrace the challenge. Whether PayPal’s loyal legion deserts the payment provider remains to be seen, but they will have to move with the times, otherwise, they risk falling behind, which could have untold consequences.
Burnley made a bold appointment in the summer of 2022 following their relegation from the Premier League. The Clarets appointed former Manchester City defender Vincent Kompany as their new manager. Kompany had served as Anderlecht boss for two seasons following his retirement from the game, but had limited success before him move.
Kompany Rise
Burnley took the gamble on Kompany’s potential and have been rewarded with outstanding results and a transformation in their style of play. Under Sean Dyche in the Premier League, Burnley were dogged and determined, but you would never confuse them for a ball-playing outfit.
Kompany has turned them into an attractive side to watch, with Nathan Tella, Anass Zaroury, Manuel Benson, Josh Brownhill, Ian Maatsen and Josh Cullen all producing high level of football on the pitch.
As a result, Burnley are the overwhelming favorites to win the Championship ahead of Sheffield United. By using an offer or promotion, fans can still bet on the Clarets to win the Championship title, although the odds on them winning promotion back to the Premier League are already low to say the least. It seems only a matter of when not if Burnley are promoted back to the top flight. You could forgive the Clarets for already making plans for their return, especially when it comes to locking down the future of their manager.
Future City Manager?
Manchester City will be taking a great interest in how Kompany performs, if he does indeed guide Burnley back to the Premier League. If the Clarets can maintain their standards in the top flight and compete towards the top half of the table, then City might just be looking at their former captain as a potential successor to Pep Guardiola. Guardiola has been sensational in his role, but his contract expires in 2025. He will have been with City for nine years at that point, which is almost unprecedented in modern football.
The Spaniard might be tempted with a new challenge if he wins the Champions League, which would give him a win in every major competition. Kompany has endorsed his former manager’s philosophy and would certainly be welcomed back with open arms by City. There might be a slight trepidation on the part of City given the way former players have struggled at other major clubs, such as Frank Lampard and Chelsea.
However, Kompany had already have proven that he can turn a club and its philosophy on its head in just a short term. TIt will be a challenge in the Premier League to keep the Clarets in the top flight. But, if he can, then Kompany could be a realistic replacement for Pep at the Etihad Stadium.
Mcdonalds forced to take down its tasteless McCrispy sign board opposite Cornwall Crematorium by the locals.
We’ve all been there. At the funeral of a distant, second-tier relative or, worse still, a friend of a friend with whom you were barely acquainted. You waited around in the cold, nodding at a spattering of complete strangers in mismatched ensembles of black, grey, or purple, before finally making it inside the chapel of rest.
At last, some warmth. Another ten minutes that felt more like twenty passed before the officiant finally rose and began the eulogy. It was a reasonably accurate and endearing portrait of the person you hardly knew,.but as the soulless delivery droned on, your mind began to wander and you inevitably thought about when and what you were next going to eat.
Never again. Well, not for the friends and relatives of dead people in the drab Suffolk town of Beccles, at least,.where the world’s first ‘McCrematorium fast funeral food’ outlet has just opened to the relief of hungry mourners.
Controversy rumbles on
Mc Crematorium Director of Services, Lorraine Fisher, 34, told this reporter how gruesome eatery has changed the way the dead of Beccles are ritually burned. ”Before we opened, services were punctuated with the groans,.whimpers, and sobbing of mourners – not out of sorrow for the deceased – but because they were so hungry. Sometimes you would even hear loud tummy rumbling during the most poignant parts of the service. That’s all finished now with the new drive-thru. It’s like we’ve killed two birds with one oven, if you catch my drift. Cook the burgers, incinerate the dead.”
Golden archway to heaven
Mourner, Joanne Catherall, whose Fiat Punto was idling between two hearses when we caught up with her using the drive-thru, told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE how she is so fond of Mc Crematorium, she is looking forward to more people she knows dying. “I love it. I’m here to bury me mum, but with all the arrangements and sorrow ‘n’ that, I didn’t catch a bite this morning before we set off. I’m Hank Marvin, so I thought I’d pop into Maccy Deceased before we say our final goodbyes. Hello… a Big Mac, large fries, and a Diet Coke, please, luv.”
Cornwall Crematorium
Due to the sensitive nature of its location, and to be respectful of the dead, some items on Mc Crematorium’s menu have changed. The McCrispy Chicken Burger remains but happy meals are now known as sad meals, hash browns, are ash browns, and toasted muffin with jam is now ‘warmed’ muffin with jam.
Suffolk nearly went to DEFCON 3 yesterday when another Chinese spy balloon / UFO was spotted over the village of Kettlebaston in the west of the county.
According to our eyewitness, the expansive balloon was spherical in shape and approximately 25 metres in diameter, larger than anything the Americans have caught. Mary Delaney (81), a local old person, told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE:
“Hello, love. Yes. What was it again? A what? A Chinaman?”
No. You said you saw a balloon… in the sky?
“Did I? Oh yes. Of course, sorry, love. It’s the brain you see, It doesn’t work like it used to anymore. No matter. What was it again?”
A balloon.
“Yes, love. The balloon. What about it?”
FFS. What did you see?
“I told you. I was in my Reliant mobility vehicle, going over to see Margaret, my daughter, when I saw a balloon flying up over the High Street. It was big and white, like a big, white balloon.”
Did it have antennae or solar panels?
“No. I don’t think so, love. It was hovering, right in front of me, hardly moving at all.”
What did you do?
“I told you. I drove to my daughter’s. When I got there, the balloon was still there, right in front of me where it had been the whole time. It was as if it was following me…from the front.”
Hmmm. Then what happened?
“I told you. After I parked up, I hooted my horn and my daughter came out. I pointed to the balloon through my windscreen but she couldn’t see anything. I pointed again and said ‘Look… there… straight ahead.’ But she couldn’t see it. FFS I thought.
Then what?
“I told you. She got into the car, beside me. I said ‘Look… there it is.’ And pointed again. Well! I have to tell you… I couldn’t believe what she said to me.”
What did she say?
“I told you. She said ‘Mam, that’s not a balloon, that’s bird shit on your windscreen, you daft old c*nt!’
Irish horse Galopin Des Champs has established himself as one of the fastest chasers in horse racing over the last couple of seasons. He will get the chance to prove his class in the 2023 Cheltenham Gold Cup, the feature race of the Cheltenham Festival.
With a distance of 3m2½f, the Gold Cup often suits horses that have a lot of stamina. However, Galopin Des Champs’ main attribute is his speed, which has prompted some horse racing fans to predict the Irish star to lap his rivals around the Cheltenham racecourse.
After success in the Irish Gold Cup on his latest outing, the second-season chaser is now the +138 favorite at https://www.paddypower.com/horse-racing for the Blue Riband event of the meeting. Victory in the race will ensure he joins some of the biggest names in history on the honors’ board.
Trainer Willie Mullins has a strong stable this season, which is why he is the -800 favorite in the Cheltenham Festival top trainer 2023 betting odds. If his star chaser can overcome his rivals in the day four contest at the meeting, it will be his third victory in the Gold Cup.
Connections Will Be Nervous About Final Fence
Galopin Des Champs has suffered just one defeat so far in his career, and that came at the Cheltenham Festival in 2022. Before approaching the finale fence in the Turners Novices’ Chase, he was on course for one of the largest margin victories of the meeting. However, as you can read at https://www.itv.com/racing, he made a mistake at the last obstacle, coming down to hand Bob Olinger the race.
The seven-year-old quickly bounced back from that mistake to prevail at Fairyhouse a month later in a Grade One contest. He also has no issues with his jumping at Punchestown in the John Durkan Memorial Punchestown Chase.
A return to Cheltenham will have his connections just a little nervous as they will remember the disappointment they experienced in 2022. History has a cruel way of repeating itself at the Cheltenham Festival so his owners will be praying their horse clears the final fence this time.
Defending Champion Standing in Galopin’s Way
If the rising star is to win the most prestigious jumps race in the sport, he will need to overcome the last two winners of the contest. 2021 winner Minella Indo and last year’s impressive champion A Plus Tard are both set to feature for Irish trainer Henry De Bromhead.
A Plus Tard scored by an emphatic 15 lengths last season. However, he was disappointing on his sole appearance in the 2022/23 campaign so far when he was pulled up at Haydock back in November.
Although it is Irish horses who sit at the top end of the betting for the Gold Cup, the home team is represented by King George VI Chase winner Bravemansgame. Along with Galopin Des Champs, Paul Nicholls’ chaser was one of the leading novices last season, and his connections will be hoping he continues to improve on the track.
The 2023 Cheltenham Gold Cup takes place at 3.30pm on March 17. There are currently 23 entries, but the final declarations will be revealed on March 15.
If you feel like you do not have enough time to spend with your family, you are not alone. Many parents have this common challenge because of how busy their lives are and how much they have to do in a given day. Many of them are torn between working long days and not spending enough time with their family. Spending time with your family has lots of benefits, some of which include building better relationships and understanding each other better, something that becomes more important as kids age and change. Here are some of the best ways to spend quality time together as a family.
Watch Something Together
We have all heard that screen time is not good for family relationships and dynamics. There are numerous options for those who want to sneak away from some screen time including game consoles, TVs, computers, smartphones and tablets.
The main problem with such screen time is that it is isolating. It can mean socialising online without spending time in the physical presence of someone else, or total isolation in case one is engaged in solo activities.
Watching something together can seem like a lazy waste of time, but it does not have to be. Doing so allows you to not only enjoy something fun together but to also talk. Enjoying the same shows, laughing at the same jokes and spending time like this can lead to stronger bonds.
If you can afford it, schedule some time to see a film at the cinema together. Ensure you choose something everyone will like and that is appropriate for all members of the family.
Have Meals Together Regularly
Sometimes we are so busy that we overlook spending time over a meal, or we are so tired at the end of the day that doing so becomes difficult. However, doing so can give you additional time to spend and bond with the family.
Try to eat at least one meal with the kids. That could be breakfast for dinner where everyone gathers around to be together in the evening. In cases where one partner is late for dinner, the other should try to make meals a regular part of your routine. Gather the kids and sit down together for the meal.
Eating dinner together is an especially good choice because you have a lot more time to ask open-ended questions and learn what is going on in your kids’ lives before heading to bed. It also establishes a routine where everyone knows what is expected of them.
Play a Board Game
The devices we own have made board games seem like something people only used to do in the past. While most board games are now available on our devices, it is still a good idea to play regular board games with your kids.
Playing a board game where everyone can participate means there will be talking, laughter and excitement when one wins. Such experiences can leave your kids with memories of a happy childhood, and this is why they are important.
Your kids will likely get disinterested in the board games you regularly play as they get older. It is, therefore, a good idea to pick games that are appropriate and challenging for their age. An option is asking them what games they would like to play outside electronic games.
A great place to start when choosing games for older kids is strategy games like chess. Such games also have the additional benefit of teaching them patience, strategic and critical thinking, and problem-solving.
Be Engaged in Their Hobbies
Hobbies are important for younger kids who are developing their interests. Even though it might seem like their hobbies and interests change every month, it is still a good idea to be engaged. A half hour doing something they love can go a long way in improving your relationship and bond.
Engaging in such activities and taking the time to talk to your kids can be especially important for foster kids where their hobbies and interests provide a great icebreaker. Take the time to not only be engaged but to also talk to your foster kids so they learn to trust and open up to you. Such communication skills are important for anyone interested in fostering in the UK and who wants to create great relationships with their foster kids.
In cases where your kids have not developed any hobbies or interests yet, you can still find a way to spend time together by trying a new activity with them. Mini-golf, swimming, going to the museum or taking a bike ride are all new activities to try with the family.
Read Together Before Bedtime
Reading together before bedtime has the primary benefit of helping you spend quality time with your kids, and the secondary benefit of helping them improve their reading, comprehension and vocabulary.
If you cannot split your time to read to each of your kids, you can make it a family activity where you read together. You could also get the older kids to read to the younger ones. Doing so spreads the benefits of reading regularly to all your kids.
Let Them Help with the Chores
Every parent who has ever let their kids help with the chores knows that it takes much longer and more effort to get everything done when they help. However, what many people do not think about is how much of our free time we spend on choosing. While we handle the chores, we are not spending this time with the kids.
Instead of spending this time handling chores yourself, you can let the kids help. Doing so helps you achieve two things at the same time; you get to do everything you need to and spend time with your kids at the same time.
Just remember to assign chores that are age-appropriate and monitor the use of detergents and cleaning supplies to avoid accidents.
It can get harder to spend time with the family as our lives get busier. However, regularly dedicating an hour or two to spend with the family has lots of benefits. The good news is that doing so is not as difficult as you might think, although you might have to move a few things around to make the time.
