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Ipswich manager Paul Cook given new company car by US owners

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Ipswich Town manager Paul Cook's new company vehicle
Ipswich Town manager Paul Cook’s new company vehicle

This sleek machine has been given to Ipswich Town manager Paul Cook to use on company business.

The US-themed tractor will soon be seen zooming across Britain’s motorway network as Cook scouts opposition and players.

Ipswich Town, known as the Tractor Boys, were taken over by a US consortium last week, with the new owners expected to plough millions into getting the team promoted back into the Championship, and then the Premier League.

Cook and his team will sow the seeds for future success and then the club and its long-suffering supporters can reap the rewards by enjoying top-flight football.

The boss’ new company vehicle was spotted at the Ipswich training ground today, ahead of the team’s trip to Wimbledon this evening at, appropriately enough, Plough Lane.

Vehicle leasing expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We were engaged by a US corporate pension fund to source a tractor for an employee in the UK.

“It had to be decked out in the colours of the US flag.

“We found the perfect match and shipped it to Suffolk over the weekend.”

However, Mr Cook has already spotted a potential flaw with his new company vehicle.

A club insider said: “It has no roof and the gaffer will get cold and wet each time he hits the road in the English climate.”

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Drinkers catch hypothermia as pub gardens reopen for business

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Pub customers return
Two regulars at the King’s Head in Ipswich (Photo: HBO)

England’s pubs reopened for business after lockdown today, leaving thousands of customers frozen to death in their gardens.

Regulars were looking forward to their first pint in three months but many had not dressed for the unseasonably cold weather.

Snow and icy winds left many boozers suffering from hypothermia, while scotch eggs were frozen solid.

Two customers in Ipswich, Jonathan Snow and Samuel Tarly, wore clothing suited to chilly conditions but still got freezing cold when they sat outside the King’s Head.

Mr Snow said: “I’ve been through quite a few cold trips in The North but this was a real trial today. Still, it was great being back in the pub, apart from the grumpy woman behind the bar.

“She was a dragon.”

Public health expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said she and colleagues were worried.

“We may have got coronavirus under control, which allowed us to open pub gardens and shops again.

“But now we are expected an epidemic of influenza.”

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Marcus Evans takes over Norwich City

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By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Former Ipswich Town owner Marcus Evans is the surprise new majority shareholder at Norwich City Football Club.

Mr Evans sold Ipswich to a US investment fund today, ending years of decline that have left the club in its worst position in 60 years.

While Ipswich fans were already celebrating his departure, there was even better news to come – Mr Evans now controls the fortunes of their arch-rivals after buying up Delia Smith’s Carrow Road shareholding.

It is fitting that Norwich enjoyed a season highlight last night, beating Huddersfield 7-0 to cement their position at the top of the Championship – because it will all be downhill from here.

Meanwhile, the rejuvenated Tractor Boys will grab promotion from League 1 and then launch an assault on the Championship to return to the Premier League for the first time in nearly 20 years.

Supporter Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s brilliant news that Evans has sold up at last – and even better news that he has now used the cash to invest in Norwich. We fully expect them to now go into a tailspin.

“We wish Norwich fans good fortune under Marcus Evans. They’re going to need it.”

Dreaming of cups (and mugs)

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Relief as the real Downing Street boss gets first vaccine jab

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larry the downing street cat

The nation rejoiced today at the news that Larry the Downing Street cat has received his first COVID jab.

Widely seen as the genuine and most effective Government leader, Larry was whiskered off to a local clinic for the vaccine this morning.

As Prime Minister Boris Johnson waffled on in yet another Downing Street coronavirus briefing, Larry was busy running the country as normal.

Westminster health worker Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Larry came into the clinic this morning for his jab.

“He was very brave and said he didn’t feel a thing. We look forward to seeing him again in a few months for his second dose.”

Larry is expected to feel a little sleepy for a day or two – even more so than usual – but will stay alert by playing on the new toy he received today.

Britain welcomed the news, which means there should be no interruption in the running of the country.

Political observer Steve Walshe said: “Can you imagine if the leader of our country got ill from COVID?

“Well, thanks to the fine work of our NHS and his own brilliantly-executed vaccination program, Larry will be safe.

“It’s brilliant mews.”

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Suffolk broadband plans for future growth

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Broadband speed

Every business relies on multiple factors in order to achieve success. While the specifics required may vary depending on the industry, technology inevitably plays a significant role.

One of the most fundamental of these is a broadband connection. Access to a high-speed internet connection can transform the way a business is able to work, increasing efficiency and profitability substantially.

Unfortunately, many businesses in Suffolk haven’t benefited from a fast broadband connection – but that’s about to change. Together with a raft of other support measures, broadband plans in the county are set to boost growth for small to medium-sized businesses.

Funding growth

Any business which wants to grow and expand will find there is a range of measures available. A new Anglia Growth Hub is being set up as a one-stop-shop to provide advice and help on subjects ranging from finance and exporting to contracts and resources.

Having a detailed business plan will help you pinpoint the type of support you need from the Hub. While there is financial support available, it’s also essential to have your own plans. Spread betting when investing in local businesses is a way of accessing a broader market while still supporting start-ups in your area. Trading and spread betting may not have been something you’ve considered for your business before, but it’s a popular way of raising profits by using your industry know-how.

Plans to tackle broadband

No matter what other measures are put in place or investment in local endeavours, the whole process will feel like hard work without a fast broadband connection. That’s why the news that Suffolk is about to get a superfast connection is such a significant step for the region.

A £5 billion fund has been created, enabling a gigabit broadband service to be rolled out to homes and businesses in Suffolk. With the planned launch for 2022, around 640,000 in Suffolk plus Norfolk and Cambridgeshire will receive the offer of an upgrade.

Businesses in the region have welcomed the news, describing the difficulties that they currently face while working with a slow connection.

Slow rollout

The Department for Digital, Media and Culture has said that tenders for the installation contract can be submitted in the first half of 2022.

However, experts have warned that the rollout of fast broadband may take longer than anticipated. BT has pledged to be able to reach more than 20 million households and commercial premises by the mid-to-late 2020s, but some believe that it may take even longer for all Suffolk businesses to have the service they need.

A spokesman for BT said to reach their target, the government needs to remove deployment barriers that hinder the rollout of fibre broadband.

In the UK, entrepreneurship and start-ups are encouraged, and there is a raft of different grants and support programmes in place.

Have a staycation and spend £5,000 visiting Southwold or Aldeburgh

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Southwold on the Suffolk coast
Reassuringly expensive: Southwold

Families facing a £5,000 fine for taking a foreign holiday can simply spend the same amount on a short break on the Suffolk coast.

Rentals and hotels in the posh seaside towns of Southwold and Aldeburgh are sky-high and out of reach for most hardworking families.

Along with pricey food and drink, the cost of a short break will soon rocket to the cost of a two-week holiday in the Med.

UK mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It will be cheaper to fly to Majorca with the kids and have a great week or two of guaranteed sunshine, cheap booze and food.

“Even with the £5,000 fine thrown in, it will still be better value than staying in the posh Suffolk resorts.

“And let’s be honest, you can’t exactly predict the Suffolk coast weather in the summer, can you?”

But locals in Southwold and Aldeburgh say the prices are high to keep people like Ms Fisher away. And if they want to experience Aldeburgh, they can buy something Aldeburgh-related on Amazon.

“We don’t want her type around here,” said Aldeburgh retired banker Steve Walsh. “I expect her husband drives a white van and wears those tight vests.

“Aldebrugh and Southwold are reassuringly expensive to keep the riff-raff out.”

British Tourist Board officials pointed out that Ms Fisher could still very much enjoy a staycation on the Suffolk coast by staying in Lowestoft for a fraction of the price.

A spokesman said: “Lowestoft Town Council is actually paying people to come and stay in the resort this year.”

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Balance studies and business – time management tips for college entrepreneurs

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Starting a college business exposes students to many skills and can be a great way to supplement income. We all know that the cost of getting a college education is rising at an alarming pace, with many students choosing to drop out before graduation. The good news is that you will likely get some money to handle some of those expenses if you choose to start your own business. The problem is that, with college getting increasingly hectic, juggling between your new business and academic demands can be challenging.

So how do you manage a successful business in college while making sure that you don’t ignore your academic obligations? Don’t panic. Here, we address some of the best time management tips to ensure that you create the delicate balance needed to thrive as a college entrepreneur.

  • Identify Time Wasters and Establish Clear Goals

As a budding entrepreneur in college, you have to be cautious about how you spend your time. It is easy to get distracted and get thrown away from your path. Pay attention to how you spend your time, including those things that eat into it.

Are you spending valuable time on social media, or do you get distracted texting and chatting with friends? Since you are combining the demands of student life and the rigors of business, make sure to identify time wasters and eliminate them.

Also, part of effective time management involves setting clear goals and working towards them. The goals should be sensible, measurable, and timebound. Of course, you still create time to socialize but make sure that you only do so after completing all important tasks.

  • Prioritize and Create a To-Do List

Since you will have many competing responsibilities, you have to be careful not to miss important deadlines. This is where planning ahead and creating a to-do list becomes important. Take a look at your week and consider what you are expected to do.

After identifying what ought to be done, prioritize tasks in their order of importance and urgency. This means completing the tasks that are almost due first. Note that it is always possible to get help with some of those assignments online by hiring a professional essay writer. Some writers are affordable and highly effective.

  • Avoid Procrastination and Start by Tackling Small Tasks First

With so much to do when juggling between a business and academics, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Understand that procrastination is your enemy when it comes to working on tasks. Don’t postpone what you can start working on today. Also, if you feel anxious when facing large tasks, don’t panic. Start with smaller tasks or divide the big ones into small parts.

Consider, for instance, what can be completed within the shortest time and is least complicated. As your creative juices start to flow, you will find that working on larger and more complex tasks becomes easier.

  • Only Complete One Task at a Time

One idea to consider when faced with multiple responsibilities is only to dedicate your energy to one task at a time. Of course, when people have a lot of work to do, there is always the temptation to multitask. Note that multitasking does not make you faster. Instead, research shows that multitasking lowers productivity and can reduce the pace with which you complete tasks. To improve your focus, turn off electronic devices and applications that may distract from your work. Also, avoid switching to another task until the one you are on is completed.

  • Be Flexible but Realistic in Your Planning

You are still relatively new to the world of business. So, while it is important to plan ahead, understand that emergencies may happen. Therefore, as you create your plan, know that you have between eight and ten hours each day for your business, studies, and socializing. Make your studies a priority, but know that some tasks may take longer to complete than expected. This means allowing some additional time that you can spend if things don’t go according to plan.

  • Create Room for Physical Activity

Even if your schedule seems packed, you still need to create time for exercise. Physical activity allows you to remain fresh and motivated. You don’t need to join a gym to exercise. Even taking the stairs or jogging in the morning can be enough.

Here, we have considered a few tips for college student entrepreneurs on how to manage time more effectively. Plan ahead, but be flexible. Most importantly, avoid procrastination.

Supermarkets begin horse-and-cart delivery trial in Norfolk

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Aldi and Lidl to trial horse-and-cart deliveries in Norfolk
Aldi and Lidl to trial horse-and-cart deliveries in Norfolk

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Rival cheap supermarkets Aldi and Lidl have joined forces to test door-to-door deliveries in Norfolk.

Using newfangled wheeled carts, horses will be able to carry essential supplies of turnips and pigs trotters to hovels from Downham Market to Hemsby.

The development is a major coup for Norfolk, which recently got its first mobile phone.

Local shoppers will now be able to ride or trudge to their local store, buy items from the shelves and then go home again and wait for delivery.

Within weeks, the supermarkets will bring the items on their horse-drawn carts that can reach speeds of up to 4mph.

It is hoped that when electrickery is introduced to the rural county, and the internet is invented there, people will even be able to order their shopping online.

Retail expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is a major step forward for the people of Norfolk.

“Horse-drawn carts will introduce supermarket door-to-door deliveries for the first time. Most part of the county will be able to order, but there are still many towns with mud tracks instead of roads, so they will have to wait.”

She added there was more exciting news for Norfolk shoppers on the horizon. “There were whispers some shops will be stocking soap for Norfolk people from next year,” she said.