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New Norwich City manager Dean Smith kicks off with a joke

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the barclay stand

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

New Norwich boss Dean Smith began his reign at Carrow Road today with a hilarious joke.

Talking about how pleased he was to be in Norfolk, he said (genuinely): “I was brought up in an era when Norwich were competing in Europe.”

The fact of the matter is that in their entire trophy-less history, Norwich have competed in Europe a grand total of SIX times, all in the same season (1993-94). So quite a short era then.

In contrast, the mighty Ipswich Town, East Anglia’s premier team, have played in European competitions SIXTY TWO times.

And in all that time, Town were NEVER beaten at home, seeing off the likes of Barcelona, Real Madrid, Inter Milan, AC Milan and many more.

Norwich sacked Daniel Farke for being bottom of the table, and have replaced him with Smith, a man sacked by Aston Villa for being fifth bottom, so that’s progress.

Norwich City FC historian Bubba Spuckler, who lives in Downham Market with his sister and their six children, said: “Yes, we have played in Europe six times.

“I can count the games on one hand.”

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Why online gambling is gaining so much popularity

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Online casinos are now some of the hottest platforms on the internet. This is especially when compared to traditional land-based casinos that are still looking to recover from the pandemic that ravaged 2020. While brick-and-mortar casinos are slowly recovering, there’s still a huge chunk of the market that is sticking with online casino platforms for their gambling needs. Whether it be through web-based sites or mobile casinos, there is an increasing trend in the usage of these online platforms for avid gamblers.

This article will take a deeper look into the rising popularity of online casinos and why they are likely to continue dominating the industry well into the future.

People are more receptive to technology

In a globalized society, the world is getting smaller and smaller with each passing day as people are growing to become more receptive to technology. One of the great powers of technology is that it has managed to connect people from all parts of the world in a way that’s never been done before. These days, more and more people are seeing the value of technology and how it contributes to the enrichment of their everyday lives. This means that there are more computers and cellphones in the hands of people than at any other point in human history. So, as people become more accustomed to technology, they also become more exposed to the varied forms of services and content that technology is able to afford them. 

Online casinos are more convenient and accessible

Even though gambling is an activity and a pastime that is beloved in all parts of the world, there’s just no denying the fact that not all people will always have easy access to casinos and gambling houses. In fact, in many parts of the world there’s very minimal access to an actual casino. And this can make it very difficult for avid gamblers to frequent their favorite spots to indulge in this hobby. But with online casinos, gaining access to your favorite table is merely a matter of logging onto your device of choice. 

Online casinos constantly offer new bonuses and promotions

Naturally, since online casinos have become so popular, so many eager investors are quick to establish their operations in an effort to capture more of the market share in such a competitive industry. It’s not enough that casino platforms improve the quality of their sites and gameplay experiences anymore. These days, it’s absolutely integral that online casinos offer many generous bonuses and promotions in order to entice gamblers to hop onto their particular sites. 

Anonymity is easier on online platforms

In many parts of the world, gambling is still seen as a very taboo form of recreation. There’s still a certain stigma that’s attached to gambling, especially when it’s done in large quantities. So, some people like to maintain their discretion and anonymity while partaking in this favorite pastime of theirs. This is much harder to accomplish in traditional casinos wherein a person’s physical presence is required for bets to take place. However, in an online casino, it’s much easier for people to hide behind digital personas and avatars. That way, they can still enjoy the hobby without having to reveal their full identity towards other players or gamblers. 

Data privacy and security have vastly improved

In the past, people may have been skeptical of feeding their money and private information into online databases and platforms. However, these days, people are becoming more comfortable with doing so due to the fact that data privacy and security are now considered priorities by most websites. This is especially true for online casinos that are subjected to the highest standards when it comes to data privacy and security protocol by the regulatory bodies that oversee their operations. 

Payment options are diverse and reliable

Lastly, it’s a lot easier for people to deposit bets and make payments online. This is due to the presence of various third-party payment portals like PayPal that are making digital transactions easier and more convenient for everyone. In traditional casinos, one would require access to actual cash on hand in order for them to begin playing. With digital transactions, the whole process is concretized and made much simpler.

Jacob Rees-Mogg invests in Victorian workhouse property business

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Snooty Tory posh boy Jacob Rees-Mogg has invested in a new property empire, building workhouses across Britain.

The savvy businessman has spotted a spiffing money-making opportunity as hard-working British people struggle with the rising cost of living.

But critics say the Leader of the House of Commons’ new business is just another example of greedy Tory sleaze.

Rees-Mogg’s company, Workhouse4Workshy Ltd, will be a simple but cost-effective place of refuge for the homeless, unemployed, orphaned and abandoned children and the mentally ill.

Company spokeswoman Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The first workhouse is being built in Ipswich in Suffolk, and we intend to build one in every major town and city across Britain.

Grateful Ipswich orphans ready to move in

“The Government will pay Mr Rees-Mogg’s company £100 a month for each unfortunate soul forced to stay in a workhouse. For that, the resident gets ghastly Victorian conditions with meagre rations, dormitories and no running water.

“And they’ll jolly well appreciate it.”

However, critics fear the workhouse business is a cash cow, allowing company chairman Mr Rees-Mogg and his fellow investors to add to their existing fortunes at the expense of the poor.

“It’s a bit ironic that Britain is plunging into this age of economic despair precisely because of Rees-Mogg and his political chums.

“Now, while we all suffer, he’ll be making even more money.”

It is expected the first workhouse in Ipswich will accommodate 200 unfortunate and desperate people.

“Business is looking up,” a friend of Mr Rees-Mogg said.

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The world’s strangest betting markets

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Many people in the UK have wagered on a football match, tennis game, or a horse race. But have you ever placed a bet on a wife-carrying event, the Bog Snorkelling Championships, or the discovery of aliens? These are just some of the strange yet legal betting markets available at some bookmakers.

Although these wagering options seem downright bizarre now, they could be the next big thing. So take a look at five of the strangest betting markets in the world to see which ones you think have potential. The odds systems used for these bets are the same as traditional sports. Therefore, make sure you know how to calculate potential betting returns before backing your favorite bog snorkeller or wife carrier.

1. Wife carrying

This sport is a feat of strength like no other. Each competitor has to complete an obstacle course spanning 253.5 metres (277 yards) while carrying a woman over the age of 17 (not necessarily a wife). The pair that crosses the finish line first wins. At some wife-carrying competitions, obstacles include sandpits, ponds, and fences.

The Finnish sport of wife-carrying takes inspiration from the 19th-century legend “Ronkainen the Robber”. According to folklore, Ronkainen and his thieves stole food and wives from local villages by carrying the women away on their backs. The first event took place in 1992 in Finland. Since then, wife-carrying races have been held all over the world. Irish bookmaker Paddy Power jumped on the hype train in 2017 by sponsoring and taking bets on a race at Glenarm Castle in Northern Ireland.

2. Cheese rolling

The Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake is held on Spring Bank Holiday weekend at Cooper’s Hill, Gloucestershire, England. Although it sounds relatively harmless, cheese rolling is not for the faint-hearted. Participants have to chase a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese down an incredibly steep 200-yard-long hill (182.88 metres). Just like wife carrying, the first to cross the finishing line is the winner.

Past injuries include plenty of sprained ankles, broken ribs, and bruise galore. But thankfully, no competitors have died while tumbling down the slope. Local bookmakers usually take bets on who will win the bizarre race. However, the last two cheese rolling events have been cancelled due to Covid restrictions.

3. Bog snorkelling

This quirky activity is undoubtedly the world’s dirtiest water sport. Competitors must swim two laps of a 180-foot water-filled lane carved into the Waen Rhydd peat bog in Wales. Although you can wear goggles, the water is so filthy that visibility is abysmal. Each bog snorkelling participant tries to beat the world speed record during the event. The current holder is Kirsty Johnson, who finished the two circuits in one minute and 22.56 seconds.

Organisers claim the origins of this event come from a bar bet in 1976. Since then, it has become famous and was even included in travel guide Lonely Planet’s list of top 50 things to do from around the world in 2014. The event sponsors usually take bets on who will win each year’s event.

4. Betting on the discovery of aliens

If you think we are not alone in the universe, you can now put your money where your mouth is. Yes, many online bookmakers accept wagers on the discovery of extraterrestrial life. For instance, Bovada lets its members bet on whether we find alien life before the end of the year. For now, the odds that humans confirm the existence of alien life before the end of 2022 are 14/1.

5. The Royal Family

Do you know what the future holds like for the next generation of Royals? Bookmakers have been accepting wagers on the Windsors and Co for years now. From the weight of royal children to whether or not Prince Andrew will lose his royal titles, you can wager on almost everything regarding the royal family. Yes, there are tonnes of royal prop bets for you to put your money on. However, there is one exception: you can’t bet on when Royal family members will die.

Quarantine, more fun than it seems

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Something that each and every person can testify to is that the COVID-19 pandemic has had a major impact on our daily lives.

In a bid to curb the rapid spread of this novel respiratory disease, governments hastily imposed a range of restrictions that limited the ability of people to travel and socialize. One of the most severe measures imposed was mandatory quarantine for all people who were a ‘close contact’ of somebody who had COVID-19. The majority of people would dread the prospect of having to quarantine, thinking that it would be a period of intense boredom and loneliness.

However, with the right mindset, there are a number of things to do during quarantine that will ensure that the time doesn’t go to waste. Here are a few of my recommendations for how to make the most of your quarantine period.

Online Games

If you’re looking for some competitive fun to break the monotony of quarantine, then you can’t go wrong with playing online games. One of the great things about the modern high-tech world is that you no longer require an expensive game console to enjoy an immersive gaming experience. It’s highly likely that your regular smartphone, tablet, or laptop will be up to the task of entertaining you for hours on end. Your daily fix of competition, excitement and adrenaline is at hand.

What’s more, if you really feel like spicing things up, you could throw the possibility of earning some money into the mix. A variety of $5 minimum deposit online casino games can be easily found online. An authentic and comprehensive casino experience can now be enjoyed by everybody from the comfort of their own homes.

Read a Book

Whilst this isn’t a particularly original recommendation, it’s worth pointing out that the simplest things in life are often the best. I could devote an entire article to why reading is such a fantastic hobby, but I’ll try to contain my enthusiasm. First and foremost, reading is a form of escapism that will transport you away from your reality of being confined indoors. There really is nothing quite like getting lost in a book that you can’t bring yourself to put down.

In addition, aside from the mental benefits of reading regularly, it has been proven that there is a range of physical benefits associated with reading regularly.  Those who commit to their reading habit will help themselves to reduce their stress levels and blood pressure, whilst delaying the symptoms of cognitive decline. All in all, I would say reading is one of the best things to do during quarantine.

Download Duolingo

For many people, discussions about whether or not they can speak a second language can be a real sore point. More often than not, it tends to be the same old story that ends up being told. We all reached a fairly high level of competence in our second language, then we left school and never used it again. When you think about it, that’s a bit of a shame.

In times gone by, the only way to start/restart learning a language was to enroll in an expensive course in a language school. Thankfully, those days are gone, as Duolingo has come to the rescue. This revolutionary interactive app allows you to learn your chosen language at your own pace. Your progress is continually assessed to ensure that you are getting the optimal learning experience. And the best part? It’s completely free! In my opinion, this is absolutely one of the best things to do during quarantine by yourself.

Meditate

I’m convinced that many of you will be rolling your eyes at this suggestion, but I would urge the cynics to not dismiss this suggestion immediately. Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years, bringing a multitude of benefits to the people who set aside the time to do it. The benefits offered by meditating are almost too extensive to list, but they include stress reduction, stimulating creativity, and obtaining a more positive outlook on life.

However, if the potential mental benefits aren’t enough to tempt you, meditation has also been shown to play a role in reducing the symptoms of migraines, anxiety and depression. But don’t take my word for it, take the word of the countless celebrities who have embedded meditation within their daily lives, including Oprah, LeBron James and Hugh Jackman. I would highly recommend that you place meditation near the top of your list of things to do during quarantine.

There you have it. Whilst nobody wants to be told that they must quarantine, there are plenty of reasons to remain cheerful. From education to relaxation and meditation or online gaming, there are a variety of different activities to keep you occupied and satisfied.

Suffolk Gazette releases woke Christmas TV advert

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Suffolk Gazette Christmas ad

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Eyebrows were raised on social media today as the Suffolk Gazette became the latest company to release a woke Christmas television advert.

In the ad, aired today, a rude Santa gives a cheeky message to Norfolk at what is meant to be a time of goodwill to all men (and women, and they).

Santa opens his famous red coat on the A140 at the Norfolk border and displays his Christmas cracker and baubles for all to see.

The endearing scene is accompanied by the Flash soundtrack by Queen.

Even the usually po-faced people of Norfolk, who are an inclusive and diverse lot, have welcomed the ad.

But many Suffolk Gazette readers are furious the ad is too woke and doesn’t go far enough – they wanted a far more robust p*ss-take out of Norfolk.

They complained to TV watchdogs after a volley of abuse on Facebook, and the Suffolk Gazette Santa may now be pulled off television screens on the first day he was aired in public.

Spokesperson for the Suffolk Gazette, Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We like to embrace the spirit of Christmas, and that includes extending our good wishes to our neighbours over the border in Norfolk.

“We simply wanted a friendly Santa who likes to show off his sack, but it seems not everyone approves.

“Even the humourless people of Norfolk, a county that butchers millions of Christmas turkeys each year, quite liked it, but you can’t please everyone.”

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Tips and tricks to boost your happiness today

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Are you feeling a little down or under the weather recently? You’re not alone. Sure, the world is a wonderful place but these are weird and stressful times, which is why it’s incredibly important to prioritize your mental health above everything else.

As a helping hand, here are some tips and tricks you can use to boost your happiness today.

Play card games

These days, everywhere you turn you encounter a screen. Smartphones, televisions, computers – they’ve taken over modern life.

That’s why, sometimes, it’s good to strip back the technology and play some card games, instead. Card games have been around for centuries, and are still as fun today as they were before technology took over!

The best part about card games is that you can play them solo or with friends. If you would rather play with friends, view now to learn the best card games to play in groups.

Improve your sleeping pattern

A lot of people feel down and haggard because of the simple fact that their sleeping pattern is all over the place. One night, they go to bed at midnight, the next night, they go to bed at 2 AM. Inconsistency is always a bad idea when it comes to sleeping patterns, which is why it’s so important to have yours in order.

Try your best to go to sleep at roughly the same time each night (choose a time that enables you to get 8 hours of sleep). Also, try to avoid too much screen time prior to sleeping, as this can strain your eyes and make it harder to fall asleep.

Unfollow negative people and pages on social media

There’s no time for negative people, anymore. Instead, the world needs some positivity, especially on social media. So, if you’re following negative people or pages, you should consider unfollowing them to give yourself a boost of happiness. As soon as your Twitter and Instagram newsfeeds become happier, you will too!

Make the most of your weekends

During the week, you probably spend a lot of time working, whether it’s in an office or outside. Thankfully, weekends exist as an opportunity to unwind, relax, and have fun before the working week comes around again. So, if you’re spending every weekend binge-watching Netflix, it’s time to shake up your routine a little!

Go hiking, visit bars with your friends, join a gym, try your hand at gardening – there are so many fun activities that you can try. Be creative and make the most of your time off, you’ll feel a lot better for it.

Treat yourself to a luxury item

Is there a luxury item you’ve wanted for ages but haven’t purchased yet? Maybe there’s a pair of shoes you’ve had your eyes on, or a brand-new MacBook you want for work? Whatever the case may be, provided it’s financially possible, you should treat yourself to this item. After all, life is short, and it’s important to enjoy the finer things from time to time!

Yorkshire Cricket Club appoints Guy Fawkes as new chairman

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Guy Fawkes

Yorkshire Cricket Club has made Guy Fawkes its new chairman as it seeks to restore its reputation.

The club is caught in a row over its response to the racism experienced by former player Azeem Rafiq.

But officials hope the decision to appoint a “safe pair of hands” in Mr Fawkes will deflect a lot of the criticism.

“Mr Fawkes will put a rocket up the executive committee,” explained club spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34.

“He has a fine reputation for trying to shake things up, and we expect his appointment to go with a bang with staff, players and supporters.”

Mr Fawkes said: “I’m bowled over by the appointment, and expect to ignite some new, inclusive policies.”

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