The last leaf on a tree has confirmed it is “desperately lonely”, depressed and wants to end it all.
Lorraine Fisher, an oak leaf from Felixstowe in Suffolk, insisted she hated being on her own and wants to be with her perished family and friends on the ground.
“People assume that because I clung on longer than everyone else, I would be happy with my achievement,” she said.
“But the reality is very different because it’s desperately lonely up here on my own, looking out over the amusement arcades.
“Even all the visitors have gone.
“It was okay up until a few weeks ago when there was lots to see. But now it’s just boring.
“I know I am going to die soon anyway, so I’d just like to get on with it. Life up here on my own is miserable and it’s bloody cold.
“I can see all my dead brothers and sisters down their on the grass.
“They seem so at peace; I want to be with them again.”
Moments later a gust of wind came off the North Sea and, with a gentle wobble, Lorraine broke away from the twig that has been her fountain of life since April.
“I’m finally freeeeeeeeeeee,” she whispered to our reporter as he drifted slowly to oblivion on the ground.
Our man heard sobbing as the little four-inch leaf floated by.
But they were tears of joy and relief, not of sadness.
Lorraine leaves no family. She was seven months old.