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Want to know if it’s raining? look in the front room

Want to know if it's raining? look in the front room

UNDERWATER, BRITAIN – Mother Nature has decided to screw over Britain with another round of endless showers, thunderstorms and torrential downpours.

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

As autumn leaves begin to hit the ground, the rain has clearly decided to follow suit. Full to the brim like leaky overfilled baths, the Thames, Severn, and even the humble Ouse have been breaking the bank.

Just like the poor citizens of this green, pleasant, and most of all, waterlogged land. Without warning, regional waterways have transformed themselves into sprawling lakes. Submerging everything in their path, from picturesque countryside villages to city centre car parks.


Two weeks ago, just as Britons were just starting to recover from another washout summer break. November rolled around, bringing with it another bout of watery woe. High streets and country roads alike are impassable once again, not because of the endless roadworks that constantly blight the nation, but because of the lake-sized puddles that greet motorists around every corner.

The irony of a country famous for its grey skies now finding itself underwater is not lost on anyone. Pubs have been forced to switch from serving pints to using pint glasses to bale out the water sopping around their beer barrels. Double-decker buses have adapted to a more practical amphibious role – cruising through flooded streets like Thames riverboats.

Submerged patios

The nation’s famous stoicism was on full display as bedraggled citizens sipped tea in their flooded living rooms. With some even holding garden parties on their now-submerged patios. In what can only be described as “bulldog spirit,” others began walking their dogs from second-story windows.

With flooding fast becoming an everyday event, the UK has indeed solidified its place as the world’s premier destination for all things damp. Tourists are advised to pack their snorkels, rubber ducks, and perhaps a sense of humor if they intend to visit, as it seems the British weather is determined to keep the island afloat – one downpour at a time.

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