STOWMARKET – Suffolk-based funeral firm Budget Funerals Ltd has launched a no-frills send-off for the dearly departed. That’s turning heads – and stomachs – across East Anglia.
Security Correspondent: Ben Twarters
Dubbed the ‘Shred & Scatter’ package, the £49.99 funeral service is marketed as the perfect solution. For those finding traditional burials “a bit steep” and cremations “too hot to handle.” The offer includes a modest funeral service, a one-way ride in the company’s signature hearse. A post-service shredding session using a high-powered industrial wood chipper bolted to the back of the vehicle.
Following the ceremony, the casket is returned to the hearse – at which point the grieving party is politely asked to clear the area. The coffin is then fed into the chipper mid-transit. With the remains of both oak and occupant scattered gracefully across rural B-roads like confetti from the afterlife.
Dead shred
Company founder Barry “Baz” Grubb defended the practice as “eco-conscious, highly efficient, and very reasonably priced, considering the rising cost of death.”
Motorists following a Chip and Bin procession are advised to stay at least 10 metres back, or bring a windscreen scraper.
Public reaction has been mixed. One satisfied customer described the service as “fast, fuss-free, and oddly poetic.” Others have called it “a macabre cross between Driving Miss Daisy and a lumberjack festival.”
Nonetheless, Grubb says bookings are up, especially among those with a strong dislike of their relatives or a fondness for wood chips.
