Suffolk police investigate giant snow feet appearing in a residential driveway.

By Our Angling Correspondent: Courtney Pike

IPSWICH, SUFFOLK — Suffolk police have launched a cautious inquiry following the overnight appearance of a pair of anatomically detailed, three-meter-long feet sculpted entirely from snow. The frozen appendages, discovered in a residential driveway, have left local authorities grappling with a case that is literally melting away.

A Cold Case

Officers were called to the scene at dawn after a homeowner reported two frozen feet obstructing their property. Preliminary measurements suggest the sculptures are roughly size 450 in standard UK footwear.

“We are currently treating this as a non-suspicious but highly confusing incident,” said a spokesperson for the Suffolk Constabulary. “While the artistry is undeniable—right down to the distinct toenail ridges—the sheer scale suggests either a prank of giant proportions or a very localized, very specific weather event.”

Snow investigation

Forensic teams arrived shortly after 9:00 AM, though their efforts have been hampered by a slight rise in temperature. “We attempted to take plaster casts of the snow casts,” noted one technician, “but the chemical reaction caused a minor toe collapse. It’s a race against the sun.”

Locals have already dubbed the phenomenon the “Yeti of Yoxford,” with some claiming the feet are a cold-weather tribute to the Suffolk Colossus bronze statue nearby. Others suggest it may be the work of a rogue artist who took the phrase “leaving a footprint” too literally.

Police have issued a lighthearted warning to the public.

“We advise residents to remain vigilant. If you see a three-storey-tall snowman wandering the A12 without his shoes, please do not approach him. He is likely cold and irritable.”

The real investigation

The investigation is expected to conclude naturally by midday Thursday, provided the central heating stays on.