Thursday, November 30, 2023

Village idiot convention in Norfolk this weekend

Norfolk village idiots have begun arriving for their annual convention in Downham Market.

Attendees will be expected to discuss important issues of the day, including the county’s best walls to sit on and new, exciting ways to suck on a piece of straw.

The conference doesn’t start until Saturday but already 14 village idiots from across Norfolk have arrived.

Organisers insist they are not early but have simply turned up late for last year’s event.

Norfolk’s Chief Village Idiot, Bubba Spuckler said: “Most idiots get hopelessly lost trying to find the venue and some have taken a year to get here.

“But it will be worth it. We have a packed program of events, including a sports day.

“However, last year’s 100-metre sprint won’t be repeated – four runners are still missing.”

The start of last year’s Norfolk Village Idiots’ 100 metres race

Local potato farmer Maurice Piper allows the idiots to use a barn for the convention on his land each year.

“They’re quite harmless. I’m told there are more village idiots in Norfolk than ever before, so it should be a good year for them.”

The news comes after Aldeburgh advertised for a new village idiot in time for the holiday season.

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