New American owners will rename Ipswich as Ipswich Town Soccer Club, we can reveal.
Instead of the famous ITFC name, the League One outfit will become ITSC.
The surprise move will mean all club signage and merchandise will be scrapped and renamed.
It is expected the new name is only the first of a sweeping set of changes that the US investors, lead by US-based Brett Johnson will bring in.
The Suffolk Gazette has seen a memo from the buyout team, laying out its plans. It includes:
- Selling stadium naming rights, so Portman Road becomes the Walmart Stadium
- Changing the team shorts to red and white stripes
- Removing the three stars under the shirt badge and replacing them with 50
- Removing the Suffolk Punch horse on the crest and replacing it with a bison
- Hot dog concession stands on every corner of the ground
- Politically incorrect pre-match and half-time cheerleaders
- Kick-off times moved to 1am to cater for a west coast US audience
Investment consortium insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Y’all will love our plans for your soccer ball team.
“Go Soccer Blues!”
The takeover of the club is expected to be announced by owner Marcus Evans soon.
He has so far remained tight-lipped about US investors taking over – but is known to be desperate to sell up.
Ms Fisher did not get the local language in Suffolk, and is still struggling with people saying “Uppa Towen”. Perhaps she should buy one of our splendid Uppa Towen mugs. You can buy one by clicking on the image below – or browse our full mug collection at Dirty Old Goat…