Friday, September 23, 2022

Pink trousers shortage leads to rise in indecent exposure cases in Woodbridge

Men's pink trousers
Men’s pink trousers shortage in Suffolk

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

A devastating shortage of men’s dusty pink trousers has sparked a rise in indecent exposure cases in Woodbridge.

A Freedom of Information request by this newspaper reveals 78 men were arrested and charged in the town in 2019 for going out without any trousers on.

Suffolk Police spokeswoman Sgt Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “There is a national shortage of pastel pink male trouser garments.

“Rather than dig out other pretentious red or mustard-coloured trousers, fashion-conscious middle-class gentlemen are simply stepping out with nothing on.

“They won’t be seen dead in a pair of jeans or suit trousers.

“Unfortunately, the yummy mummies of the town do not appreciate bare legs, and we have to make arrests.”

Sgt Fisher said similar incidents had been found in Orford, Aldeburgh and Southwold.

“But Woodbridge is a hotbed. And now 78 men have had their collars felt, if not their trousers.”

Local man Tony Stone said: “I hate pastel-coloured men’s trousers, especially pink ones. But my neighbour, Malcolm, loves them. He’s been in prison since last Tuesday.”

Gentlemen’s outfitters have been desperately trying to source extra supplies to cope with demand and spare Suffolk ladies’ blushes.

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