Sunday, June 2, 2024

‘Pigging’ is new ‘Dogging’ in rural Suffolk

‘Pigging’ is new ‘Dogging’ in rural Suffolk

FRAMLINGHAM, SUFFOLK – New Year’s celebrations brought an unexpected twist in the tail as two escapee pigs from Hill Farm in Framlingham decided to engage in some filthy festive frolics of their own in rural Suffolk

As the clock struck midnight, the amorous swine chose the middle of the road as the venue for their lascivious New Year’s celebration, much to the disgust of passing motorists.

Broader trend

The escapade, however, was not an isolated incident but seemed to be part of a broader trend of pigs emulating human behaviour in rural Suffolk. Ever since the 2023 case of the Marxist pigs rebelling against the natural order of farm life – as reported in the SUFFOLK GAZETTE – the phenomenon has gained prominence. Led by the self-proclaimed humanist, Sir Oinkington III, a band of dissatisfied swine had ventured into the realm of human existence.

Initially impressing locals with their wit, intellect, and charm, the Marxist pigs danced, sang, recited poetry, and even made friends with humans. However, the allure of human life quickly waned when the pigs realized the responsibilities that came with it—working for a living, paying utility bills, and adhering to societal norms. Disillusioned, the pigs decided to return to the comforts of the farmyard.

Lustful pigs

Now, as the new year ushers in a resurgence of swine shenanigans, one couldn’t help but wonder whether the escapades of the lustful pigs indicated a cultural Marxist revival in the farmsteads of rural Suffolk.

Rural Suffolk Police

As the police attempted to wrangle the frisky pigs back to the farm, the question remained: were they revolutionary, oink-tellectual comrades emulating the lewd human pastime known as ‘dogging’ or just dumb farmyard animals doing what comes naturally?

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