PIDDINGTON — Following a decisive local referendum to secede from the United Kingdom, residents of the Oxfordshire village of Piddington have begun logistical preparations to physically dismantle their entire settlement and rebuild it inside the Welsh border.
By Our Property Correspondent: Ruth Tyler
The symbolic independence vote, organized by the parish council, saw 285 of the 312 registered locals favor secession over plans to house 1,256 male asylum seekers at a neighboring military facility. To solidify their total detachment from Westminster, the community has overwhelmingly elected to pack up the village entirely.
Under the guidance of the newly formed Piddington Removal Committee, householders will systematically deconstruct every cottage, farm building, and Grade II-listed structure brick by brick. The structures will be numbered, loaded onto flatbed trailers, and hauled 70 miles west to a quiet plot of land in Powys.
“Declaring independence on paper simply didn’t go far enough,” explained one parish organizer while carefully chiselling mortar off the village hall facade. “If the government won’t listen to our lack of consultation, we will take our church, our pub, and our stone walls somewhere that will.”
The Great Escape
The Home Office’s initiative aims to transition asylum seekers out of expensive hotel accommodations and into repurposed military infrastructure. However, Piddington residents argue the rapid influx of residents far outnumbers the native population, prompting the unprecedented architectural exodus.
Work is already underway on the 14th-century St. Nicholas Church. Volunteers hope to have the bell tower safely loaded onto a convoy by Tuesday, with the local pub scheduled for transit by the weekend.
Welsh authorities have yet to clarify whether the arriving village will require planning permission, import customs clearance, or a fresh set of road signs. Meanwhile, Oxfordshire highways officials warned motorists to expect minor delays along the A40 due to slow-moving thatched roofs.