First person to mention the nights are drawing in is a prat, Britain agrees

Gloomy outlook

The first person tomorrow to mention that the days are getting shorter is a complete numpty, Britain agrees.

Before we’ve even had anything resembling a summer, no one wants to be reminded we’re on the slippery slope to winter.

Office worker Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s the same every year – as soon as the Summer Solstice is over, some prat in accounts makes the same smug remark about the nights drawing in.

“Well, this year, we can all agree to tell him to stick his calendar remarks where the sun don’t shine.

“Which is a bit ironic, really.”

But a weather person added: “What is more ironic is that, while indeed the days will now be getting shorter, we’re hoping for a warmer spell of weather soon.

“No doubt that prat in accounts will then be moaning about it being too hot.”

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