By Casey Jones, Railways Correspondent
London Underground is introducing luxurious first-class carriages so well-heeled commuters do not need to mix with common riff-raff.
While normal Londoners must squash into packed sweaty and smelly carriages, toffs can enjoy their trip through the capital in an ornate carriage with comfy leather chairs, like the one advertised below, and a fully-stocked bar.
A man in a crisp white jacket will recharge glasses and serve fine sandwiches and canapes to passengers.
The news was revealed exclusively to the Suffolk Gazette after an alert reader spotted a sign at Holborn station this evening.
First-class carriages
While anyone with money will enjoy the new posh commuting experience, to be introduced first on the Central Line, not everyone is happy, describing it as elitist and Victorian in nature.
City worker Lorraine Fisher, 34, was furious: “Traveling on the Tube when it’s busy is difficult enough, but knowing these snobs in the next carriage are lounging around quaffing champagne is too much.
“One first-class carriage will take around 20 people at most, meaning less space for the rest of us squished together 150 at a time.
“I really think London Underground should do a u-turn.”
But bosses are not likely to back down. They had intended a grand announcement next week, with the first luxury carriage officially opened by Jacob Rees-Mogg.
But the sign spotted by our reader today was put up early in error, letting the cat out of the bag.
A London Underground insider said: “The bosses are furious this has got out early, but fair play to the Suffolk Gazette for getting the scoop. The service will start on Central Line trains and then move to the Circle Line, where passengers will be able to go round and round until they’ve finished at the bar.”
First-class carriages were removed from the London Underground network in 1940 after the outbreak of World War Two. But now things have calmed down a bit, they are to make a sensational return.
It’s not the first time this newspaper has broken a top tube-related story. A few years ago, we were the first to reveal a new Anglian Line would run underground from Suffolk to London.
However, some people now believe this story was simply the work of a creative Ipswich copywriter.
Mugs available here
You won’t find our Suffolk Gazette mugs in London Underground’s first-class carriages. Which is a shame. But you can buy them from the items below, or browse the full collections on Dirty Old Goat mugs.
Brilliant. I think I am in love with Lorraine Fisher, 34.
Dear Mr Steel,
You’re in a long queue, I’m afraid.
Regards,
The Editor
How many dumb Americans who read Drudge are actually buying this story? (sadly, many)
Dear WillsUK,
Quite a few Brits as well, to be fair.
Regards,
The Editor
First indicator: the photo. It portrays a 19th-century railway carriage with windows.
Dear Galen,
London Underground trains have windows, too.
Regards,
The Editor
Drudge is a moron.
This sure beats CNNNBCCBSABCMSNBCWaPoand the Times. It is far better than the ugly angry daily mail.
I was linked here from the Drudge Report. I thought it odd the notification for the new 1st class service was posted in hand writing on a whiteboard, Then I saw the new rail service for “pensioners”. :) I may be slow to catch on, but watch how quickly I drop the Drudge Report from my news-feeds for not vetting the “news” they report.
Meanwhile, I’ll hang out here for a bit to see what else makes me laugh.
-Scott, OKC, Okla.
Dear Scott,
Welcome aboard. You’ll find the Suffolk Gazette is well known for its quality investigative journalism.
Regards,
The Editor
Uhm… you made it on Drudge Report.
“London Underground introduces First Class Carriages — With A Bar!”
Dear Finn,
Yes, not surprising as the Drudge Report sources only the finest news.
Regards,
The Editor
Punch
Dear Mr Smith,
This is either a threat, an offer of a festive drink, or some short reference to a story about Mr Punch…
https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/mr-punch/
Regards,
The Editor
Brought my tickets already.
Cannot wait for the Circle line service, work will have to wait, especially on Friday’s!
Fake News.
Dear Ann,
Nothing gets past you, does it?
Regards.
The Editor
No, it’s a storey that was planted by the Russians told to us by the American mids
Someone was confused… Its not APRIL 1st. Yet.
Brilliant. I was fing mad!!
It’s December 7 today and the notice says December 12.
Meh……
The story clearly states the notice was put up early in error. Keep up!
Regards,
The Editor
Shame; I’m minted and would have paid through the nose to avoid people entering my personal space uninvited.
This is exact truth as like the general election all parties tell the truth as well not one of them admits to the full extent of how much the EU gets from the UK ,the cost of benefits, the Austerity measures the EU force on the UK,the benefits fleeced to EU citizens from British tax payers,asset stripping by the EU of British companies to line the EU trade pockets & all the extra payments in vat + taxes taken by the EU
Ha ha drinking alcohol on TFL services is ileagl you knowt
Why was this on my Google News Feed, fgs.
God are you so full of straw you think that lame attempt will sucker anybody. Pathetic . Why don’t you try finding out if a duck crossed the road and if old people like change
I shall investigate that duck tip immediately. Thanks!
The Editor
I’m an idiot – this is a satire site. I was suckered in!
You’re not the first and won’t be the last.
Regards,
The Editor
Satire in Suffolk. Isn’t that this black round things they put on sacars
This is obviously a joke – are you guys that desperate for views?
At last, some humour in the world !!