Centaur napping in Łódź bedroom sparks social and scientific frenzy.
By Our Security Correspondent: Ben Twarters
ŁÓDŹ, POLAND — A centaur has been photographed napping in a private Łódź bedroom. The image, released early this morning, shows the creature’s human head resting on a pillow while its equine lower body is tucked beneath a blanket featuring an intricate oak-leaf pattern.
“This is a first for modern Poland,” said Dr. Mirosław Kowalski, head of the Polish Institute for Mythical Studies. “Previous centaur reports were invariably outdoors, running wild or battling mythical beasts. To find one napping in suburban comfort is truly remarkable. Preliminary surveys suggest a 92% chance it prefers domesticated life over the forest.”
Neighbours have reported a mix of curiosity and mild envy. “I woke up to gentle snorts and a rhythmic thump-thump-thump,” said Katarzyna Nowak, a next-door resident. “At first I thought it was the radiator, but no—this centaur is clearly enjoying a well-earned sleep. Honestly, I wish I could sleep that soundly.”
Horsing around
Authorities have urged citizens to remain calm. The Łódź Mayor’s office released a statement: “The centaur is considered a peaceful resident and is fully compliant with local ordinances. It recycles, keeps its hooves tidy, and is rumoured to enjoy reading Polish crime novels. Residents are reminded not to disturb nap times, which are currently scheduled from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. daily.”
Social media reactions have been overwhelmingly positive, with one viral poll suggesting 78% of Łódź citizens would “invite the centaur for coffee” if given the chance. Local businesses are already speculating on centaur-friendly amenities, including extended stables in apartment complexes and a “hoof-friendly” public transport system.
Securing the future
Meanwhile, cryptozoologists have announced plans to launch the first indoor observational study of centaur behavior, tentatively titled Project Siesta, citing unprecedented opportunities to document napping posture, blanket preferences, and pillow alignment.
For now, the centaur sleeps on, a living reminder that sometimes, myth isn’t just a bedtime story—it’s your new neighbor.
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