An F-35A Lightning II RAF jet, touted as one of the most advanced fighter aircraft in the world, has reportedly gone missing in cumulus cloud over Nacton.
By Doug Trench, Defence Editor
Yes, you read that right—an entire multi-million-pound state-of-the-art war machine vanished into thin air (or rather, a thick cloud).
Eyewitnesses reported seeing the fifth-generation fighter jet soaring confidently through the sky. Only to vanish behind a seemingly innocent little cloud. It’s as if the jet has decided to embark on a mission of its own. Possibly searching for the elusive British sunshine that has been missing all summer.
Royal Air Farce
The F-35A, capable of flying at Mach 1.60 (about 1,200 mph). Embarked on its journey to patrol the skies over Suffolk. With all the confidence of a top gun pilot. However, upon entering a fluffy, white cloud that had the audacity to drift in its path. The jet’s high-tech navigation systems apparently suffered a catastrophic meltdown, and the jet disappeared.
Local farmer Nigel Hoggins, who was fondling his sheep at the time, remarked, “I’ve seen sheep get lost in a thick fog before, but this is the first time I’ve seen a multi-fighter jet make the same mistake. Maybe they need to install a GPS system that doesn’t rely on Apple Maps.”
Missing RAF Jet in Nacton
The Ministry of Defense issued a statement reassuring the public. They were doing everything in their power to locate the missing jet.
Meanwhile, rejecting the suggestion that the incident merely demonstrated a ‘vapor skirt’ (visible water condensed in a cloud that wraps around a jet traveling at high speed), locals speculated that the encapsulating cloud in question may be a secret Russian ‘weather weapon’, or that the plane may have been hijacked by ‘cloud people’.
What do you think has happened to the missing jet?
Email: itsdefinitelyavapourskirt@Suffolkgazette.com
