First, it was Cumbria, then Wiltshire, then Exeter, now, the over-sexed, working-class FILTH of Glasgow are also using sidewalk ’Sin Bins’ to cover their trail of lewd behaviour.
Regular readers of the SUFFOLK GAZETTE will recall how Cumbria County Council ‘rubbed cum in our faces’ as it renamed its local places of interest with FILTHY, SEX-related names. Then, it was Wiltshire Council, South West England, which renamed a local beauty spot ‘Wilsford cum Lake’ in a bid to attract DISGUSTING tourists, then the backward people of Exeter in Devon joined the bandwagon of FILTH by introducing sidewalk cum bins for locals to ejaculate into! DISGUSTING!!
Now, Glasgow, a city already known for being inhabited by DIRTY, UNEDUCATED, LOW-LIFE SCUM has descended further into the abyss of MORAL DECLINE with the introduction of municipal cum bins.
Tartan tarts
Also used by local sex workers (huirs) to dispose of used condoms, the ‘Sin Bins’ as they have been dubbed by locals have caused uproar in the local community – especially among more conservative/nationalist senior citizens.
Glasgow sex innovation
Local resident, Jock Strap, chair of the Glasgow chapter of the campaign group Residents Against Everything (RAGE) told this reporter “Ah dah ken whit th’ warld is comin’ tae. Aw ah want is tae be able tae eat mah shortcake, stroke mah red beard, bevvy mah Mcewans, an’ listen tae mah Rod Stewart graphite loons withit havin’ other people’s cum rubbed in mah coopon. is ‘at tay much tae ask?”
Local habitual gambler and long-time alcoholic, Douglas Blair, is more positive on the council’s spermicidal innovation. He told me “Ah, aye flin’ mah cum in th’ sin bin efter i’ve hud a causey wenk. Whaur else ur ye supposed tae pit it?” At least I think that’s what he said?
So there we have it. The people of Glasgow (sex) split right down the middle on the issue of the new sidewalk ‘Sin Bins’.
Next Week! Read about Glasgow City Council’s new ‘In Glasgow, we bin our GUM’ campaign to rid its streets of unsightly chewing gum.
A new take-away restaurant aimed at social media addicts has opened its doors to customers in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.
‘Facefood’ fast food on Risbygate Street, caters to those customers who can’t bear to be away from their ‘socials’ for more than thirty seconds. The novel idea is the latest creation of Barry Singh, the Suffolk grocery entrepreneur behind retail outlets, Singhsbury’s and Morrisinghs.
Deliveree
I caught up with Barry as he was unloading some halal meat from the back of a van parked outside the restaurant, and asked him what was it all about?
“Hey, how you doin’, buddy?” said Barry as he slung the carcus of a dead cow over his shoulder. “Welcome to facefood. It’s my new top fast food shop serving top quality fast food to youngsters who live fast on the internet, innit?”
I asked Baz how it worked. “So, you can either come in or order online. If you want to order online just send us a friend request on facebook and tell us what you want. The menu is on the wall of our facebook page. Delivery will be in under 30 minutes. The best thing is you can chat or message your friends on facebook while you wait for delivery. Facebook. Facefood. Makes sense, innit?”
So how is that any different to an other online food order?
“It’s on facebook. Come inside and I’ll show you what else we have…”
Short circuit
As I entered the shop I noticed that the counter was only six inches from the ground and the menus were stuck to the floor. I asked Bazza why?
“It’s so when you come in you don’t have to lift your head up from your phone to make an order. You can keep using facebook the whole time. Facebook. Facefood.”
Dishes at Facefood include; Chicken megabytes, Quarter-pounder Mark Zuckerburger and microchips, Virtual Kebab, 12” Pizza with tomato database and choice of laptoppings, and Eton Messenger.
The Georgia Bulldogs maintained their impressive form in 2022 to make it two seasons on the trot. With the 2023 season ready to start on August 26, each college is concluding all its final points on its off-season to-do list.
With the season approaching the college football lines highlight those who are the most likely to challenge Georgia this year, along with who could be an intriguing outside option.
University of Southern California Trojans
With Heisman Trophy winner Caleb Williams as their foundation block, USC have an elite offense which will punish defenses across the country. His weapons on offense look to have been upgraded further with the transfer of Dorian Singer from Arizona State. Singer started 11 of 12 games with 66 receptions for a Pac-12 leading 1,105 yards and six touchdowns.
Questions remain on their abilities on defense. Lincoln Riley took this flawed side to the doorstep of the CFP and the team are looking for a stronger year on defense with additions like linebacker Mason Cobb from Oklahoma State and defensive lineman Anthony Lucas.
With the upgrade at defense, we could well see a team competing with sides like the Georgia Bulldogs as long as this defense steps up to a higher level.
Florida State Seminoles
The Seminoles are on the rise and have quality on both sides of the ball. They are a more balanced side than with the Trojans were last year, though lacked a Caleb Williams.
It’s been 9 years since their last ACC win but come up against a number of weakened sides in their schedule, on paper at least. Quarterback Jordan Travis and wide receiver Johnny Wilson need to form a dangerous partnership in a group which continued to upgrade in preparation for this season.
With more depth across the roster in key areas, Mike Norvell vision of big plays and high production appear to be being met and he has the group behind him to challenge deep into the new season.
Oregon Ducks
There has been a lot of hard working going into recruitment over the past few years in Oregon which has shown no sign of slowing down, even with the change in head coach from Mario Cristobal to Dan Lanning in December 2021.
Eleven ESPN 300 players were signed in 2023, most notably wide receivers Jurrion Dickey and Ashton Cozart. Oregon look set on paper to be one of the most exciting teams in the West while likely not being the Pac-12 favorites.
Their defense missed the top 25 in the country last year though not by much, and with Lanning making more of an impression on his team, the defense should keep improving. Their immediate future looks bright, and they continue to put themselves out in front with Michael Van Buren at quarterback already agreed for 2024.
Penn State Nittany Lions
A Big Ten is seven years in the past now, but Penn State are now coming off an 11-win season. Their coach James Franklin is also receiving the support in the background he has been looking for and their recruitment is looking more improved also.
Drew Allar looks set to be the quarterback for the next few seasons as the ESPN 5st overall talent in 2022 and the 19-year-old has had his year as back-up to bed himself in and look to break out in 2023. With Nicholas Singleton and Kaytron Allen at running back for the next two years, the ground attack looks strong also with the two combining for 1,928 rushing yards and 22 touchdowns in 2022.
Manny Diaz is taking control of the defense for a second year which looks set to keep on improving from a group which saw national awards candidates Abdul Carter and Curtis Jacobs lead a linebacker depth chart full of non-seniors.
Washington Huskies
Kalen DeBoer has begun his ear as the Huskies coach well and looks set to keep to pushing. Heisman Trophy candidate Michael Penix Jr. is a huge part of this positive feeling as he leads an offense which will be feared by any defense they come up against.
Bringing in recruits with Penix Jr. as the quarterback has been made a lot easier. The quarterback threw to 1,000-yard receivers Rome Odunze and Jalen McMillan and any future recruits at wide receiver, tight end, or even a receiving running back, will know they will be given every opportunity to shine.
Their defense was by no means the best, but it did finish strongly in 2022. They had some standout like Bralen Trice and there is a lot of hope for Edefuan Ulofoshio in the linebacker role.
With a lot of players in their last year as seniors, the long-term success of this team is still under question, but they will go out with a big fight in 2023.
One of the most important aspects of your wealth, for many investors, is being able to secure the futures of the next generation.
In this case, there are many things you can do to ensure you build your children’s wealth effectively.
Read below to find our guide on junior investing, showing you what it is and how you can execute it effectively.
What is Junior Investing?
Junior Investing is a specific type of approach that allows you to grow your children’s wealth with various types of investment accounts.
These accounts are offered by modern wealth management services and various other providers, and can include things such as Junior Individual Savings Account (Junior ISA/JISA account) and Junior General Investment Accounts (Junior GIAs).
Each of these accounts work in a similar way to the standard, adult versions, except there are certain rules and processes which differ slightly for the junior accounts.
A Junior ISA allows you to save money for your child each year, which is sheltered from tax. These savings are then accessed by the child when they turn 18. The Junior ISA allowance for the current tax year 2023/2024 is £9,000.
Junior GIAs are opened by a ‘bare trust’ to grow wealth for your child. These accounts do not have an annual allowance on how much can be invested each year. However, unlike Junior ISAs, the returns may be taxable.
How can you execute Junior Investing effectively?
There are many ways you can conduct Junior Investing effectively for your children’s wealth. For example, this includes:
Seeking a modern wealth management service
If you want to take the right approach to Junior Investing, it’s important to consider a modern wealth management service.
These financial experts will analyse your financial situation, and help you execute investments for your children in the right way.
For example, they can establish what goals you have for the future, and structure your investments in your junior accounts according to this.
Also, they have extensive knowledge surrounding tax rules for these accounts, so they can help you grow your children’s savings as tax-efficiently as possible.
Investing in different types of accounts
Another way to execute your Junior Investing process effectively is to make sure you vary your investments in different accounts, which each have their own benefits.
For example, Junior cash ISAs allow you to save money each tax year for your child. With a Junior stocks and shares ISA, you not only save money, but also grow these savings with potentially successful investments.
In addition to this, any returns from these successful investments will not be subject to income or Capital Gains Tax, so this adds further tax benefits to your child’s wealth.
Making the most of the tax allowances
A good tip for Junior Investing is to also make the most of all the allowances that could benefit your child’s wealth – as well as yours.
For one, you can make sure you invest the full amount in your Junior ISAs, so you grow your child’s wealth as effectively as possible. Junior GIAs don’t have an allowance, so you can contribute as much as you want.
However, you can also use your child’s personal income tax allowances and Capital Gains Tax allowances when it comes to the returns from their Junior GIA.
This can help them shelter their returns from tax as much as possible, and get the most out of their accounts when they choose to withdraw their money.
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For more information on how you can execute Junior Investing effectively, contact your modern wealth manager to begin discussing your requirements.
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Please note, the value of your investments can go down as well as up.
Will it ever end? That is the question every local man, woman, them and child is asking themselves as more roadworks blight their beloved home county of Suffolk.
And the answer is… no. Unfortunately, it seems the road ahead looks exactly the same as the road behind – i.e. completely fucked.
In an attempt to make some sense of it all, I spoke to David Grissle, a spigot packer on a break from his shift at Johnson’s Spigots of Washbrook, Suffolk. He was smoking a fag in between spitting gob onto the pavement outside his place of work when I asked him – what did he think was behind the never-ending series of road closures across Suffolk, and indeed, the entire United Kingdom. “Posh school mums in SUVs.
You can see ‘em riding their Chelsea tractors up and down, up and down to the bloody school gate and back. Totally fucks the aggregate, churns it up and fucks up the roads for the rest of us. It’s only a two-minute walk to school ffs. Get off yer sexy arses and actually walk with your kids for once, or are you gonna buy them cars n’all?”
Get to the bottom
Determined to get to the bottom of the issue, I drove my 65K Range Rover Velar S to a nearby school to speak to some sexy-arsed school mums, to get their side of the story firsthand. As I motored along, I could hear my tyres grinding the sand, gravel, shell, and slag beneath me, totally unmoved by the damage I knew I was causing.
After arriving at the school, I parked my great big car half way up on the grass verge right outside the main gate. I knew I was blocking other drivers, pedestrians, kids etc. but I didn’t care, I had already spotted what I was looking for.
I crept up behind I approached a gorgeous forty-something Milf with long flowing blonde hair who was chatting with a couple of other fit mums in the playground. She was wearing stretch denim blue jeans and a small t-shirt that showed off her ample, perfectly-shaped bosoms to perfection.
You could even see the indent of the bra strap beneath her top which got me even more excited. I decided to brush past her to get her attention. “Excuse me madam, I am a reporter for the SUFFOLK GAZETTE.” I smiled, winked at her and went on… “What do you think is the cause of the poor condition of the road surfaces in the area?”
Not just a pretty face
“Erm? The potholes, you mean?” Her voice was common but extremely arousing. “Well, I suppose it begins with a depression in the road surface, which is usually made of asphalt and a mix of crushed stone.
They generally occur where there’s a combination of water in the underlying soil structure and heavy traffic passing over the affected area, don’t they? Water first weakens the underlying soil; and the traffic fatigues and breaks the poorly supported asphalt surface in the affected area – the early stage of the process is known as ‘crocodile cracking’.
The further passing over of more continuous, heavy traffic, especially SUV’s, Range Rovers etc. eventually ejects both the asphalt and the underlying soil material to create a hole in the pavement. Isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is exactly that (you a beautiful piece of nouveau riche, slutty crumpet.) By the way, what are you doing later?”
Over-priced but beloved British supermarket chain, M&S (No relation to Frank Spencer) has discontinued it’s popular all-day breakfast.
Previously available ‘all day’, the delicious classic M&S English breakfast of; burnt sausages, undercooked bacon, cold beans, slimy mushrooms, watery tomatoes, wet scrambled eggs and soggy toast is now only available in store until 11.30 am.
Big fat sausage
We decided to visit the Heath Retail Park store in Ipswich to ask regular diners what they though about the new breakfast restriction. Georgina Fulcrum, 80, a retired comb tester told me, “Eh? What’s that luv? Eh? All gay breakfasts? Oooh, no, luvvy. I never touch the stuff.”
Brian Edgbaston, 72, a former Mr Suffolk, claimed that the limitation on breakfasts has ruined his life. “I am a man who likes to eat his breakfast in the afternoon. Don’t ask me why. I just do. The new restrictions have ruined my life. Now look at me. It’s 12:45 in the afternoon and I’m eating Chilli Con Carne. What’s going on around here??”
Upper crust cut of
Another geriatric customer, Ena Cluttock, 91, a former lady-in-waiting to Queen Mary, told this reporter, “When I was a gal at the palace, breakfast was strictly between 7.30 and 9.00 am by a whate gloved butler, don’t you know?
Brekkah was a take-a-pew meal with a spoon, a starter fork, and two small starter knives. You, one’s old bean, also have a side plate and napkin. Your brekkah starts with a glass of freshly squeezed orange or apple juice. You then have a cereal, such as bran or similaaar, followed by the full English brekkah, which always includes toast.
M&S breakfast
During the meal, you, one’s old bean, would take teah or cawfee. The toast should arrive with the crusts cut orf and in rectangles. The reason for this is the fact that you, one’s old bean, ne’ah cut toast at the table, nor should you break it.
The pieces in the toast rack should be small enough to eat in a few bites, don’t you know? You apply the buttah and condiment of your choice on the side of your plate and apply it to the toast mwah, mwah, sweetie.
If you have laaargah pieces of toast, dane’t buttah and apply your condiment all in one jolly well go, rahthah, focus on a small piece at a time, but as mentioned, dane’t cut or break it. Understood?”
A spokesperson for M&S told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE, “We have decided to take the common sense approach to breakfast. Everyone knows that breakfast is supposed to be eaten at, well… breakfast time.
In the morning, at least. So that’s what we’ve done. Anything after 11.30 is really lunch, isn’t it? or at the very least, brunch. If you expect to eat breakfast after 11.30 am then might we suggest you are getting out of bed slightly tardily?”
We love movies that transport us to a different time and place, yet even a small mistake can ruin the illusion. The following are examples of a few classic movies that momentarily lost their way with terrible mistakes that are difficult to forget.
Robert De Niro Gets Replaced by an Obvious Dummy
The opening scene of 1995’s Casino is almost perfect, as Robert De Niro playing the gaudily-dressed casino boss Sam “Ace” Rothstein gets into his car and meets a sorry end. It’s a powerful opening, but viewers are left wondering why the dummy that replaces the actor is so obvious and why the camera lingers on it for so long. Some fans assume that director Martin Scorsese did it deliberately, but it’s still unclear why he would do that.
If we compare the scenes shot inside casinos, they are far more realistic. Having said that, many players these days have more experience playing online casino games at sites such as those reviewed by BonusFinder. Real-money gambling sites like BetMGM and Caesars provide virtual versions of the same games we’ve seen represented in Casino and other great movies. However, they can be played conveniently at any time and from anywhere the casinos operate.
The Strange Street Sweeper in Quantum of Solace
This 2008 James Bond movie helped to establish the gritty new direction the franchise took with Daniel Craig in the lead role. It includes exciting action sequences and a deeper look at 007’s inner rage and ruthlessness. Quantum of Solace also gives us plenty of chase sequences using a variety of vehicles in several locations, making it onto this list from Time of the best car chases in movie history.
Yet, one bizarre scene caught the eyes of movie-goers for the wrong reason. An extra behind Bond is meant to be sweeping the ground but, for some unknown reason, sweeps his brush in mid-air. It’s a comical moment and some sources suggest that the extra might have been told to sweep in that way to avoid filling the scene with dust.
The Van and Muddled Timeline in Braveheart
1995’s Braveheart was such a huge success that it allowed millions of us to learn more about the story of Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace. It told of his battle to gain independence for his country, with Mel Gibson playing the lead role as well as directing the film. It just didn’t tell the story correctly.
Braveheart has been criticized for being historically inaccurate in many areas such as the clothing worn by 13th Scottish warriors and the Royal timeline, as explained by SlashFilm. Most people watching it wouldn’t be aware of these issues, but they would recognize the white van rolling along behind a battle scene.
The Fight Scene in The Godfather
It’s hard to believe that one of the most loved and critically-acclaimed movies of all time has one of the worst fight scenes. 1972’s The Godfather is incredibly detailed and beautifully shot but when Sonny Corleone (played by James Caan) beats up his brother-in-law Carlo it looks like a scene from a cheap TV series.
Some sources suggest that this scene was probably filmed early and before the studio had seen Francis Ford Coppola’s work and become more relaxed over the budget. That’s still no excuse for the punch that misses Carlo by a considerable distance but still makes a noise as though it landed.
Jurassic Park and the Helping Hand
Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park helped to change the way we think about special effects, but there’s one moment in the 1993 film that almost ruins the illusion that the rest of the scenes has helped to build up.
This is when the giant velociraptors are chasing the humans in the kitchen. At one point, we see a human hand that appears to keep the dinosaur steady. Once you’ve seen it, the idea of powerful beasts hunting down the humans is shattered.
These are all still great movies, but those messy moments we’ve looked at take some of the edge off the drama and excitement if you look at them too closely.
The online betting industry is a circle that permits putting down wagers on various games and events on the web. In Australia, this area has acquired wide fame among players as of late; for instance, in 2022, the online betting business sector arrived at 4.5 billion US dollars, and by 2027, examiners anticipate that it could arrive at 7.5 billion. This is noteworthy and exhibits a typical yearly development pace of 7%.
Along with the market price, the number of online casino players in Australia will also grow, and if you look at the statistics, you will see impressive numbers – almost 15% growth in players in one year. This growth is due to such important factors as technological processes, convenience, the regulatory environment in Australia, diversity of game selection, etc. You can see a detailed analysis of all the factors below, but first, we recommend that you familiarize yourself with the list of Australian online casinos for real money.
The Advantages of Online Gambling
We invite you to read the best advantages to get a complete understanding of online gambling:
You don’t need to visit a real casino when you use an online club, making it very convenient and affordable for gamers.
To satisfy players’ preferences and interests, online gambling offers many games, including slots, table games, poker, and sports betting.
The running expenses of online casinos are frequently less expensive than customary clubs. This empowers them to give greater payout rates, working on the chances of winning for players.
Play at whatever point and any place you need. Best gambling sites give players admittance to games 24 hours every day, seven days per week, letting them play at whatever point and any place they need.
Technological Advances and Innovations
It is vital to note that technological advancement has an urgent impact on promoting online gambling. The improvement of quick online, which can give players access to online casinos that accept Australian players, is conceivably the principal component. This gives continuous interaction without delays.
Upgrades in design and sound, combined with improved gaming software, affect online gambling promotion in Australia. We shouldn’t ignore live dealer games, which, on account of technical developments, permit players to cooperate with real dealers.
Mobile games have also contributed to online gambling development in Australia, permitting gamers to play when and where they want. The introduction of mobile casinos in Australia has extraordinarily expanded the number of clients by captivating people who use telephones or tablets to participate. Integration with social networks is also important, as it allows gamers to share their gaming experiences, which may help to attract new customers.
Change in Consumer Preferences
Recently, we have seen a critical shift in customer behavior towards the Internet and portable devices, and there are several explanations for this, which we will discuss below.
The digitalization of life plays an important role in this process, as people are becoming increasingly aware of innovations. This explains the rapid transition from traditional clubs to online clubs in Australia.
As for the transition to mobile platforms, it is simple: the increase in the number of customers with mobile phones has led to the popularity of universal betting.
Note that simply having an online gambling site in Australia isn’t sufficient; developers need to add the improvement and provide their players with convenience and personalized experience. Furthermore, focusing on innovative features will give one-of-a-kind gaming opportunities.
Marketing Strategies and Promotions
The role of marketing in the popularization of online gambling is also significant. Every Australian online casino needs to have a strong marketing strategy that expands brand awareness and helps to attract new users. Also, targeted marketing plays an important role; its peculiarity is to direct advertising to a specific audience.
To assure the confidence and security of clients, gambling institutions should prioritize showcasing their permits and other verification of honesty. But if the company fails to gain trust, all other marketing efforts will likely be useless.
The use of promotional offers by Australian online casinos is far from uncommon, and they resort to various methods of incentives, such as free spins or bonus money and matches. Most likely, this is done with only one goal: attracting new players. Loyalty programs are also quite common on online gambling sites in Austria, and their task is to keep players interested.
Prospects for Industry Development in Australia
We offer to review the table that demonstrates the forecast for further growth and development of the online gambling industry:
Year
Market Size (USD Billion)
CAGR
Factors Contributing to Growth
2022
$105
N/A
Mobile gamingTechnological advancementsIncreased Internet adoption
2023
$120
13%
Virtual reality integrationCryptocurrency adoptionExpansion of mobile gaming
2024
$135
12.7%
Emerging marketseSports integrationAI and ML
2025
$150
12.5%
Improved security measuresExpansion of online sports bettingTechnological advancements
2026
$170
12.6%
Mergers and acquisitionsNew game developmentContinued expansion of online sports betting
2027
$190
12.8%
Blockchain technologyGrowing online poker marketExpansion of online lottery
The online gambling world is ripe for change, and Australia is no exception to the potential impact of cutting-edge technologies like blockchain and computer-generated reality. These innovative developments promise to revolutionize the gaming experience and introduce novice and seasoned players to new and unique online offerings. Blockchain’s advanced security features also offer the added benefit of ensuring a tamper-proof and meticulously designed record of all transactions.
Conclusion
Factors like creative advancements drive the notoriety of the online gambling industry in Australia, augmented reality and blockchain, which upgrade client experience and security. Changing consumer preferences favoring online platforms and viable advertising procedures attract more players.
The business’s promising possibilities are upheld by evolving regulations and expanded market rivalry, cultivating development and improvement. Overall, these factors contribute to Australia’s thriving and dynamic online gambling landscape. You can play in Australia from 21 years old. Do it responsibly because you risk your money.
