Wednesday, June 25, 2025
Home Blog Page 217

Norwich welcomes special Coca-Cola Christmas truck

0

Norwich welcomes coke christmas lorry

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

You know it’s nearly Christmas when the fabulous Coca-Cola Christmas Truck comes to your town.

And this year Norwich is proud to welcome a special Norfolk version of the popular attraction because the real one off the road owing to the COVID-19 outbreak.

Delighted local children can’t wait for the trailer to pull into the city centre, playing merry festive jingles through its loudspeaker.

‘Tis the season to be jolly!

The back of the truck will then provide free samples to delighted locals, who will guzzle greedily on the tasty contents.

They may not even notice that it isn’t the real Coca-Cola Christmas Truck.

Norwich City mayor Bubba Spuckler, 35, said: “The arrival of the Coca-Cola lorry really puts Norwich on the map.

“We notice Ipswich is not on the schedule for a visit.”

Residents in Suffolk haven’t got the heart to point out that the Coca-Cola lorry visiting Norwich is, in fact, nothing more than a tractor pulling a wagon of slurry.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, from Ipswich, said: “Norwich people are full of sh*t anyway, so they’ll enjoy getting stuck in.

“I suppose if you live in the backwater of Norfolk, you’ll do anything to create a little bit of festive cheer once a year.”

The real Coca-Cola Christmas Lorry is going nowhere near Norfolk. In fairness, it’s not coming to Suffolk, either.

But Suffolk people don’t like being bribed by a lorry load of liquid diabetes.

An Apache helicopter really did open fire accidentally in Suffolk

0

In a curious case of you really couldn’t make it up, an Apache attack helicopter accidentally opened fire at a Suffolk airbase.

Keen readers of the Suffolk Gazette, the nation’s authority on accurate news reporting, will recall a similar incident a few years ago when the county’s police Apache helicopter accidentally launched a missile at a vicarage.

Click the image to read our original story below…

Our original story by Crime Editor Rob Banks

Now an investigation has been launched after an army Apache fired a round at Wattisham Flying Station, as reported by the BBC.

Army insider Major Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Everyone scoffed when the Suffolk Gazette reported the original story, claiming it was simply made up.

“But this latest incident proves that Apache helicopters do have a tendency to accidentally blow things up.”

It is not known if the police helicopter pilot who accidentally blew up the vicarage in Needham Market had since transferred to the Army.

“Lightening can strike twice,” military observer Steve Walshe. “Or in this case, Sidewinder missiles.”

Joe Biden appeals for calm because it’s time for his nap

0
Joe Biden nap
Sleepy Joe Biden (Photo: Gage Skidmore CC BY-SA 2.0)

US Presidential hopeful Joe Biden has appealed for everyone to remain calm so that he can take his nap.

Mr Biden, 77, is concerned there could be civil unrest over the long, drawn-out election counting process, and any trouble might keep him awake.

Spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Mr Biden usually takes 40 winks a few times every day, particularly after meals, which all helps him stay alert – just what he needs to be the leader of the free world.

“If he can hear protests, gunfire, looting and sirens outside, he might not be able to get to sleep.

“So, he has appealed for calm.”

Meanwhile, President Trump continues to stoke up anger by claiming the whole election is a fraud. He wants all counting stopped in those states where he is currently ahead.

“Why should everyone who voted expect to have that vote count?” complained Republican campaigner Steve Walshe.

Drink your cocoa from our mugs

As you settle back yourself, watching events unfold in disbelief, drink your soothing cocoa from a Dirty Old Goat mug. Purchase straight from the detail below…

Revealed: Donald Trump has written this Christmas list

0

The Suffolk Gazette has been leaked a copy of Donald Trump’s Christmas list to Santa, which reveals the ten items the outgoing President wants this festive season.

He scribbled the list on a piece of paper and put it up the chimney in the Oval Office fireplace, but security personnel found it and removed it. We cannot say how it got into our hands.

Here is Mr Trump’s list in full.

1. Dignity Harness (extra large)

The ideal accessory to prevent you from losing your dignity. This item should be worn at all times, or you might end up doing or saying something that makes you look a complete idiot.

2. Abacus

This basic but useful desktop item will help you make sense of numbers. Let’s say, for example, that you cannot get to grips with the votes cast in a particular state. Pennsylvania, maybe. An abacus will help even a half-wit understand that when you add together the number of pieces of paper in a big pile, it usually comes to a larger number than those in a small pile.

3. A good divorce lawyer

Melania (Photo: Whitehouse.gov CC By 3.0 US)

We’re not sure why Mr Trump suddenly feels the need for a good divorce lawyer for Christmas. But anyway, we’re sure someone will present him with one. Maybe not Melania, however.

4. 2020 Review Mug

Despite claiming publicly that the US economy is booming, that the “China virus” is finished, and that the US is riding a huge “red wave”, Mr Trump wants one of these 2020 review mugs for his desk at the Oval office. Presumably where Mr Biden will be able to enjoy it soon.

5. Golf balls

Just in case he soon gets more time on his hands to play his favourite game, Mr Trump has added golf balls to his Christmas list. He tends to lose them (a bit like his dignity and the popular vote).

6. A crate of bleach

Even though he has already had COVID-19, Mr Trump wants to keep drinking bleach every night to stop it from coming back again.

7. New contacts book

Unfortunately, all the numbers in his current contacts book are suddenly becoming unavilable or going unanswered. A new contacts book is needed.

8. How to Speak North Korean book

He does have one new friend, a Mr Kim Jong-un. Mr Trump is eying up hotel and casino deals in North Korea. He just needs to speak the language and the deals are as good as done.

9. Box of Lego

Mr Trump loves to build things. Unfortunately, he never got round to building his Mexican wall, so he has asked for some Lego so he can piece together his own wall whenever he likes.

10. Jar of covfefe

He was perplexed that no-one else seems to have heard of covfefe, which he famously Tweeted about in 2017. Mr Trump has now added it to his Christmas list in the hope that Santa knows what he’s on about.

Now you can buy your own Christmas gifts

Buy your own splendid Christmas gifts thanks to the Suffolk Gazette’s partner, Dirty Old Goat mugs. Visit the buy mugs online website or buy direct below…

Donald Trump graciously admits defeat, congratulates Joe Biden and wishes him well

0

President Donald Trump has graciously admitted the US election was entirely fair and that he has been beaten by a better man.

And Mr Trump has openly said the country should get behind the new President and give him all their support.

The reaction from the White House has surprised many, who expected Mr Trump to throw all his toys out of the pram, claim the election was a fraud, that “Sleepy Joe” and his cronies had stolen the result – and he would go to the courts to get the result overturned.

“Yet he has not done anything of the sort,” said US political analyst Lorraine Fisher, 34. “He has been gracious in defeat and shown tremendous humility.”

Meanwhile, Boris Johnson is doing a terrific job, coronavirus has been eliminated, and pigs are flying.

Buy a Christmas gift here because you can’t go to the shops

Get one of our fab mugs, delivered to your door faster than a US Presidential lawsuit. Head over to Dirty Old Goat mugs or check out the designs below before going to the checkout…

5 reasons to obtain a DNP qualification

0

A career in nursing may be challenging, but it’s also infinitely rewarding. Indeed, working in the healthcare industry in any role offers an immense amount of job satisfaction. In addition to this, qualifying as a nurse gives you a range of career opportunities to explore.

The first step in your career may be obtaining a BSN or MSN and practicing as a Registered Nurse. From there, enrolling in a DNP program could be the ultimate way to reach the pinnacle of your profession. While delivering enhanced patient care is one reason to become a Doctor of Nursing Practice, there are many other benefits associated with obtaining a DNP postgraduate degree, including:

1. More job opportunities

With jobs in the healthcare sector expected to grow by 15% by 2029, the industry is expanding much more rapidly than others. It’s estimated that at least 2.4 million new jobs will be created in this time, which is good news for qualified healthcare workers.

As you might expect, the better qualified you are and the more experience you have, the more likely you are to secure job offers. If you want to progress your career and take on more senior roles, having additional qualifications is almost a requirement. Indeed, having your DNP qualification will set you apart from other candidates and make it far easier for you to land your dream role in healthcare.

2. Choice of specialisms

As you undertake your DNP, you’ll have the opportunity to build upon the skills you gained during your BSN and/or MSN study. With convenient and flexible online DNP programs, you’ll even be able to apply these enhanced skills in your current role while you obtain your qualification. In addition to this, you can also choose a specialise in a particular area.

From executive nurse leadership or nurse-midwifery to pediatrics or family nurse practitioner, there are many options to consider. By choosing to specialize in a particular area, you can focus your career on the elements of healthcare that interest you the most. Furthermore, you can use your skills to enhance your knowledge and patient care within your chosen specialism.

3. Increased earning power

As you climb the career ladder, you can expect your salary to increase too. Statistics show that nurse practitioners with a DNP qualification earn around $135,830, on average. This is a significant increase compared to the average, national RN salary, which is estimated to be approx. $75,510.

When you consider that an online DNP program can be completed in as little as two years, practicing RNs can significantly enhance their earning power by completing a Doctor of Nursing Practice program. Indeed, aspiring nurses can even fast-track their career progression by enrolling in BSN to DNP programs from the get-go.

4. More responsibility

As you gain experience and obtain advanced qualifications, you will be able to take on more responsibilities within your roles. The DNP qualification is the most advanced nursing degree out there, which ensures that successful graduates will be able to reach the top of their profession.

Obtaining a DNP qualification enables you to deliver more hands-on patient care, without direct supervision. In fact, some states permit qualified nurse practitioners to set up and run their own practices. In addition to prescribing medications, ordering tests, interpreting test results and arranging appropriate care for patients, you may want to take on the role of advising on specific conditions as a clinical nurse specialist, for example.

Alternatively, you can use your DNP qualification to segue into education, if you choose to. As a nurse educator, for example, you’ll be delivering training to the next generation of healthcare professionals. In doing so, you’ll be using your clinical expertise, practical experience and advanced knowledge to help equip future RNs, NPs and DNPs with the skills they will need.

5. Shape the healthcare sector

A DNP qualification gives you the option to take on more managerial roles, if you choose to. By following this path, you’ll be able to play a crucial role in shaping the future of nursing and the healthcare sector as a whole.

With a Doctor of Nursing Practice degree, you’ll be given more responsibility on a day-to-day basis, which enables you to be involved in decision-making within your team and your working environment, whether it’s your own practice, within a doctor’s office or at a hospital.

However, your role as an industry leader doesn’t have to stop there. While men are underrepresented in nursing, it is women who are typically underrepresented in leadership roles within the healthcare sector. As the majority of nurses in the U.S. are women, elevating nurses to leadership roles is one way to redress the balance.

Of course, combating inequality isn’t the only benefit to be derived to promoting nurses to more leadership roles. With a wealth of experience and knowledge, giving nurses the opportunity to shape the healthcare industry can only lead to improvements across the sector, both for patients and practitioners.

Pursuing a career in nursing

If you want to enhance the lives of millions, deliver enhanced patient care and take on increasing clinical responsibility, then a career in nursing could be the ideal option. For people with a naturally empathetic nature, a penchant for science and medicine, as well as an analytical mind, the demands of the job provide a challenging yet fulfilling career path.

From a practical perspective, nursing gives you the opportunity to work in any state in the country, as well as internationally, if you choose to. By joining a growing industry, you can be confident that the ongoing demand for competent, qualified nurses will ensure there are a variety of positions available as you progress through your career.

By enrolling in a Doctor of Nursing Practice program now, you can obtain the qualification you need to enhance your career prospects and fulfil your personal goals. Whether you aim to operate as a sole nursing practitioner or as part of a larger team, the skills, recognition and experience gained via DNP study will ensure you’re well-equipped to succeed.

6 best meditation room ideas that inspire peace

0

One of the best things you can do for your mind, body, and soul is to create a room in your home for peaceful meditation. It can be a refuge from the stressful and hectic outside world. It’s important to be able to recharge, refresh, and get your mind and body relaxed.

However, you can’t just pick any room and meditate. You need to maximize the potential of the space as a meditation area. That means being creative and adding elements that will make it a more effective space for meditation. Here are some of the best meditation room ideas that inspire peace. 

Minimalism

You don’t need a lot to meditate. The more clutter there is surrounding you, the more difficult you might find relaxing and focusing on your meditation. All you need are some cushions, a small stool, and a comfortable rug. Try to choose colors that are neutral and calming, but otherwise choose whatever styles suit you best and provide a sense of peace. Clutter can create stress, so you want to remove as much of it as possible from your meditation room. 

Scents

A simple scent can do wonders for your mood and your ability to relax. It can set the vibe of the room, and a pleasant scent can make you feel more serene. You can take it a step further, however, by using healing essential oils. They not only give you a nice aroma, but they also add other benefits, such as relaxation and immune system boosting, depending on what oil you use. Check out some incense products from distributors like Zamnesia. Incense can also give you relaxation benefits, and can help energize certain brain functions. 

Colors

Everyone likes a splash of big, bold colors at times, and accent pieces and walls are very popular for home decor. However, when it comes to your meditation room, you want to choose colors that are more subdued. Soothing pastels are a great choice. You may not see them while you are meditating, but they can get you in the mood when you first enter the space. Other hues that provide a hint of nature and earth can give this feeling, so stay away from big and bright, at least for this room. 

Reminders

It’s true that your eyes are closed during meditation, but the key is to have the feeling and the mood to be set as soon as you enter the space. One thing you can do is have personal messages prominently displayed that give you a reminder of what you are there for. They should be simple, and just one word at a time. Good pre-meditation words include “breathe,” “focus,” or “exhale.” It can be anything that puts you in the right frame of mind for being at peace for a while. Make sure that the messages are printed in a calming font that’s flowing but still easy to read. 

Bring the outside in

There is nothing more calming than nature. Having a serene outside oasis isn’t possible for most of us, but you can create a sense of it inside your home. If possible, set up your meditation space where there is a lot of natural light. It is amazingly energizing, and does not have the negative effects that harsh electrical light can have. Make sure to have other natural components as well. It can be plants, or a box of sand, or even a small water fountain. If you like the sounds of nature, such as the wind, rustling leaves, or softly chirping birds, you can bring in music to add to the mood. If you are able, fresh air is also a powerful way to improve your brain function and refresh your mind and body. 

Create a hideaway

In your home, you might not be able to have a separate room just for meditating. It can be therapeutic to have a physical barrier between your meditation space and the rest of the home, however. You can create a personal hideout within a room, such as your living or family room, with some simple solutions. You can use a hanging canopy to carve out a section of the room, for instance. If you are on a budget, simple bed sheets will do just fine as well. Make sure they are pastel or other subdued colors and not your comic book sheets from when you were a kid. 

We all need a way to relax and de-stress after a long day at work or school, or simply to get away from the tension of everyday life. Creating a meditation room in your home is the perfect way to easily shut yourself off from the world and gain some peace. Use these tips to help you make the ideal serenity spot for you in your home. 

Is backing Ipswich Town a good bet this season?

0
ITFC ground

With one of the largest budgets and, on paper at least, best squads, you would think Ipswich Town would be promotion favourites in the English League One this season.

Punters have good reason to be cautious, however. Last season, the first after Ipswich were relegated from the Championship, they were tipped to go straight back up – but finished woefully short in 11th place.

This year, just like last, they have got off to a great start, currently sitting second in the table on goal difference after ten games. But supporters and bettors know what happened before and fear another collapse in form.

Successful sports betting is not about placing bets with your heart; it’s about using your head to ensure you make sensible decisions. Sports betting sites like 20bet offer a wide range of sporting matches to bet on, and a chance to profit.

You must study the form, look to see if there are any historical peculiarities with the fixture – perhaps a weaker team is a bogey team against one particular opponent. Then follow the latest news to check that injuries or suspensions will not affect the result. If one team has lost their star striker to injury, will that affect your judgment of who to back?

Ipswich conundrum

So, back to Ipswich. A team that on paper should cruise each game. The Suffolk club is seemingly invincible at home, at least according to the results. So far, Ipswich have played five and won five at Portman Road, although those who have watched report, for the last two games at least, an unconvincing performance.

It’s away from home that Ipswich’s worries seem to appear. Last season’s collapse under manager Paul Lambert, suggests a fragility in the team. When the side goes behind, or under pressure, the tempo drops. Town have played five away games this season, winning just two (drawing one and losing two). A long injury list has not helped matters.

Fans have also noted how Ipswich seemingly win against the mid or lower table sides in League 1 but struggle against the bigger sides that would be fighting them for a promotion place. Indeed, they have lost away to Doncaster and Lincoln City, both teams that were in the top six at the time.

Coming up is a massive away day at Sunderland, the other perceived “big dog” in League One. The Black Cats currently sit sixth in the table. But their home record of two wins, one draw and a surprise defeat to Portsmouth suggests Ipswich might fancy their chances, even with their own shaky away record.

Starved of success

Perhaps the sensible bet for the Sunderland vs Ipswich game would be a draw, and most bookies are offering odds of around 3.50 for that to happen.

Ipswich fans have been starved of success since days when they were playing in the Championship, fighting to get into the Premier League. Years of stagnation – they were the club with the longest stay in the Championship – led to inevitable relegation after then-manager Mick McCarthy left, followed by an ill-fated short stint in the hot seat from Paul Hurst.

Paul Lambert took over but was unable to prevent the club from dropping into the third tier of English football for the first time in nearly 60 years.

Desperate to return to winning ways, long-suffering fans, including famous Ipswich supporter Ed Sheeran continue to believe the corner has been turned. As such, many will back their team to win at the bookies, even if the form suggests another option is more profitable.

As we said earlier, it’s always better to bet with your head, rather than your heart.

One way around this – and it applies to a supporter of any team – is to make use of the in-play betting markets. Rather than backing Ipswich to win before kick-off and hoping for the best, let the game unfold and then make an in-play bet.

If Town have gone ahead, you might fancy them to go all the way and bet on them to finish the job, which is far less risky. Or if they are grimly holding on 0-0 and the other team look threatening, why not swallow your pride and bet on a loss. At least if they do go on to lose, you will have won some money to make you feel a little better.

As ever, it’s all about betting sensibly as the adverts in the UK tell us regularly: “When the fun stops, stop.”