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Teemu Pukki run over by tractor at Norwich training ground, will miss Euros

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A bizarre accident in the parking lot of Norwich City’s training ground has left star striker Teemu Pukki facing the prospect of missing Finland’s title run at Euro 2020 this summer.

The absence of Pukki, scorer of 26 goals in the Championship this season, casts doubt over what had been considered largely a procession for footballing giants Finland to the European crown. Sitting 11/2 in the Denmark vs Finland odds to win their opening game and 250/1 to win the tournament, Finnish pundits are aghast that bookies now see them as having a worse chance than Scotland.

According to an eyewitness account from Norwich City’s groundskeeper – largely unintelligible but decoded by local police – the incident occurred shortly after training on Wednesday. Since securing a return to the Premier League by winning the Championship, Norwich’s players have played their remaining fixtures on a steady diet of Woodforde’s Wherry, and it was only a matter of time before someone was crushed under the reversing wheel of Jordan Hugill’s Ford.

While most Premier League players drive Porsches and Lamborghinis, the tradition of Norwich players driving tractors goes back to the Ron Saunders era in the 1970s. Before then, the Canaries went to games by bus, albeit powered by the players’ legs running at full speed like Fred Flintstone’s car. Saunders, of course, famously drove a combine harvester to Carrow Road – or as close as he could get, anyway, as roads had not been invented at the time.

Lassi Lappalainen’s Lapland lads look to leave a lasting… limpression idk

With Pukki potentially missing out, it will fall to Finland’s other stars to make an impact at Euro 2020. As with every major tournament, it promises to be a rough ride for UK broadcasters as commentators struggle to pronounce Scandanavian names, among them Joel Pohjanpalo, Pyry Soiri, Lukáš Hrádecký and the troublesome Robin Lod.

Head coach Markku Kanerva might secretly fancy his chances of getting out of their group, even with his star player on the operating table of a witch doctor in the Fens. They face Denmark, Belgium and Russia in Group B. That said, if they just agree to lose all three, they can go back to their wives and sports cars in Helsinki, so, swings and roundabouts.

If Kanerva does actually try, they still have an outside chance. Kevin de Bruyne might have just won another Premier League with Manchester City, but he’s never played against Onni Valakari before, star of Pafos FC, the 7th-best team in all of Cyprus. As there is no footage of Valakari ever playing football, de Bruyne will not be able to analyze him pre-match as he does his opponents at the Etihad. Unfortunately, that lack of footage also means Kanerva might be playing a milkman in midfield – it’s a bit of a lottery.

You can watch Finland as they get their Euro 2020 campaign underway against Denmark on 12 June. Concerns that goalkeepers’ vision could be impaired by low-hanging Copenhagen sun were put to bed with the revelation that Kasper Schmeichel constantly plays in the shadow of his more successful father.

Finally, a Norwich Cup

It’s been a long wait for Norwich fans to get any sort of cup, but the Suffolk Gazette has kindly stepped in to help. Buy the Norwich cup below, or browse the entire mug collection at our sister site, Dirty Old Goat mugs…

Man keeps odd socks collection for another year in case the others turn up

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Collection of odd socks
Just some of Steve Walshe’s odd sock collection

A man has decided to keep his growing collection of odd socks for another year in case the other turn up.

Steve Walshe has no idea where the missing socks get to, although he suspects his wife somehow loses them between the time he leaves them on the bedroom floor to when they mysteriously reappear, nice and clean in his drawer a day or so later.

There is also a possibility that the dog eats them as he found some dog poo in the garden with what looks like a white ankle sock embedded within it.

Even so, Steve, from Woodbridge, cannot bring himself to throw the odd socks away and make some space in the drawer.

Odd socks

There are currently 14 odd socks.

“Why would I waste money buying new socks when the others will probably turn up soon enough?” he asked.

“My wife keeps nagging me to do so, but I haven’t seen her rushing to throw away the dozens of tuppaware boxes and lids that don’t match in the kitchen cupboard.”

Sock specialist Lorraine Fisher, 34, said Steve should just bite the bullet.

“Men become attached to their socks. Especially ones that they think are cool but really make them look lame.

“In these cases it’s often best to be cruel to be kind, and simply throw them all in the bin when he’s out.”

The fun of the online casino

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With so many people turning online to find and pay for goods and services it’s not so surprising that they are also sourcing their entertainment online, too. This is especially so for those that enjoy a bet or wager on their favourite games especially as traveling has been restricted over the last 12 to 18 months.

In fact, online casinos have become so popular that many players are choosing to remain playing online rather than return to land-based venues. There is nothing quite so convenient than being able to play when and wherever you want to.

This increased popularity has also witnessed numerous new online casino sites, resulting in the choice being so large it can be confusing when looking for a new site. Luckily, there are a few great tips to follow to ensure that the site you are playing at is perfectly suited to your own personal needs which means that you won’t have to go to more than one site for all your gaming options.

How do I choose an online casino site?

As mentioned above there are a lot of new online casino sites landing on our pages daily, and just like everything else, not all are as good as each other. But there are some factors that point to sites that are fun, enjoyable and full of great games.

The first thing to remember is to check that the site you are playing at is holding a current online casino licence which has been issued by a reputable Gambling Commission and/or Authority. If you take a look at fruityking.co.uk, which is licensed and regulated by both the Malta Gaming Authority and licensed and regulated in Great Britain by the UK Gambing Commission (details are easy to find at the bottom of the page) you will see how this information should be displayed.

The importance of holding an up-to-date gambling license cannot be repeated enough times as this means that the online casino must adhere to the strict rules and regulations that have been set in place to protect players from rogue sites and to make sure that all games are true and fair.

Other factors that make a good online casino into a great online casino

There are many good online casinos but then there are those sites just like Fruity King that go the extra mile to make their players time one that they will want to repeat.

  • The online casino market is very competitive and so to tempt players there are bonuses and promotions to take advantage of and these should be generous and have reasonable restrictions added to them.
  • Games should be varied and supplied by only the major players in the online casino gaming software industry ensuring that they are of the highest quality There should also be a selection of live casino games on offer for those players that enjoy playing in real time.
  • The banking methods need to be those that are the most trusted and should also include options like ‘pay by phone’ for those that want to pay for their games using their phone bill.
  • There needs to be a great customer service in place that is willing to help and assist when required and there should also be a full set of information pages that are written in a jargon free way for self-help.
  • The whole online casino site should be totally transparent, use only the latest encryption software for security reasons and have their RNG* independently audited on a regular basis.

*The RNG or Random Number Generator rolls the virtual dice, spins the virtual wheel and reels and deals the virtual dice.

Suffolk Business website gives local companies a voice

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Suffolk Business website

A Suffolk business website gives the county’s business owners, marketers and PR agencies a new platform to promote their news.

Suffolk Business is ideal for brand building and complements any company’s content marketing efforts.

Owned by Suffolk web content specialists Magic Word Media, the website will also share links to the stories on its social media network.

Magic Word Media, which also owns the Suffolk Gazette, said it was important for local businesses to cut through the digital clutter and get their voices heard.

Director Simon Young said: “These published stories allow businesses to use the link for their marketing efforts, pointing customers or prospects to an independent editorial website that’s a different voice from the usual company blog.”

The website is also perfect for start-up companies looking to get their message out to the Suffolk public.

For more information, see https://suffolkbusiness.co.uk or contact simon@magicwordmedia.com

Shrek was based on Norfolk people, DreamWorks admits

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Shrek and chums based on Norfolk characters (Image: DreamWorks)

Flatulent ogre Shrek was based on people a DreamWorks executive observed in Norfolk, it has emerged.

As film fans celebrate 20 years since Shrek was released, the new background to how Shrek was devised is fascinating.

Film production suit at DreamWorks, Lorraine Fisher, 34, had strayed into Norfolk while visiting relatives in Suffolk in the UK in 1999.

It was during a brief drive around Norfolk that she observed weird-looking locals living in hovels in the woods.

One gang, thought to be a family group, was large and disfigured, with misshapen ears and faces and strange yellowy-green colour.

They had donkeys for pulling water from wells and also as a form of transport to a Kingdom of Far Away called Norwich.

The Norfolk locals wore rudimentary clothing make from animal leather and fur. But it barely covered their tiny, crooked privates.

Ms Fisher’s extraordinary revelations were in a typed memo to fellow executives at DreamWorks, the huge animated film production company.

And her memo was released by DreamWorks today to mark the 20th anniversary of Shrek.

She recounted how the people of Norfolk were like nothing she had ever seen before. “It’s like stepping back 500 years,” she wrote. “The people have terrible disfigurements, presumably after generations of inbreeding.

“I feel there is a character we could develop based on how these Norfolk simpletons look and act.”

And the rest, as they say, is cinematic history.

Suffolk man Steve Walshe said today: “Norfolk people will probably take all this as a compliment.”

Norfolk mugs

The Suffolk Gazette celebrates the fact it is not in Norfolk by producing some special mugs that you really should buy. See the whole collection at Dirty Old Goat mugs, or buy direct from the items below…

What can we learn from the best traders about online stock trading?

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Trading floor

The stock market can be a lucrative and exciting venture, however, since the market is highly volatile, learning how to navigate changes in the market before you invest is crucial. Thankfully, there’s plenty of insightful and informative material online to help you to get started. One of the best ways to learn the ropes is to engage with an experienced trader, so that you can learn the ins and outs of the market from someone who has a successful trading record.

The levels of success that you experience on the stock market will vary and will be dependent on your ability to act strategically according to your research, study of market analysis and predictions. In this article, we will reveal some of the individuals who have achieved record-breaking success trading in stocks, to inspire you and give you an insight into how the best traders have made their fortunes.

Paul Tudor Jones

Paul Tudor Jones landed himself a place in the stock trading hall of fame when he successfully predicted the landscape of the 1987 stock market. His most successful trade saw him profit nearly $100 million when he invested in the Dow Jones Industrial Average as it dipped by 22%.

Jones has not only experienced successful trading in stocks, he has also contributed greatly to the growth of the hedge fund industry. He founded his own hedge fund in 1980, called Tudor Investment Corp, which has afforded him a net worth of almost $5.8 billion. But what can you learn from this stock trading giant that you can apply to your own trading venture?

Jones’ approach was strategically defensive. His tactic was to pre-empt that each position that he opened on the market was not correct, so that he could place his risk points accordingly. This allowed him to exit a position swiftly if the market changed, prioritising the minimisation of losses.

George Soros

George Soros has an impressive trading reputation, so much so that he is known as “the man who broke the bank of England”. His status was earned after he made a $1 billion dollar profit, when he made a short sale of $10 billion pounds worth of stock.

Like Jones, Soros also has an influential role in the hedge fund industry, being the chair of Soros Fund Management, which has become one of history’s most successful firms in the hedge fund industry.

Soros’ strategy is to take short-term positions on the financial market, utilising leverage to open large positions on the market. Soros’ tactic is highly risky, but his experience affords him the ability to take such risks. He bets on the value of the investments that he makes, based upon the movement of the stock market, and acting according to analysis and predictions.

His strategy, is what he refers to as ‘reflexivity’ and his belief is that individual investors have a direct influence upon the landscape of the market. He believes that their unpredictable, uncalculated actions cause great fluctuations that open up opportunities for investment.

Richard Dennis

Richard Dennis, a commodities trader, has made an estimated $200 million over his ten-year trading career. Dennis founded the Turtle Trading experiment with his partner William Eckhardt, which was a test to prove that, given a set of rules, anyone could be taught to trade on the futures market successfully.

His strategy and advice to traders focussed largely around the following of key trends in the market. Dennis believed that a system that allows you to follow trends is key, maintaining a position until you identify evidence that a particular trend has changed. To keep track of the value of specific stocks and analyse fluctuations in the stock market you could utilise a trading platform. For example, stock trading on Plus500 will allow you to analyse price movements and employ a contract for difference to speculate on trends.

Relax Gaming lands UKGC Licence – growth expected in UK

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iGaming software developer Relax Gaming has secured a UKGC licence for its Gibraltar company. Relax Gaming Gibraltar Ltd is now approved by the UK Gambling Commission.

The operator’s expansive roster of casino games will now be more readily available at UK sites. Current partners Boylesports, 32Red and BetVictor are already a part of the Gibraltar network.

Entain’s UK brands, which include Ladbrokes and Coral – are the next to follow suit. The provider already works with international casino providers like Betmaster through a Curacao gaming license.

Relax Gaming now holds gaming licenses in many highly regulated territories. The UKGC licence joins approval from the Malta Gaming Authority and Romanian National Gaming Office.

The expansion into the coveted UK market (which is estimated to be worth about £14.3 billion per year) promises new growth opportunities for Relax.

Speaking about the acquisition of a UKGC licence, Tommi Maijala, Relax Gaming CEO, said: “Following a fruitful relationship with the UKGC through our Malta-based company, having all our products and services approved for our Gibraltar branch is another major commercial highlight for us.

“Its significance will be felt across the business, including by our valued third-party partners.”

Relax is one of the iGaming industry’s most established content suppliers with an award-winning portfolio of 2,000 casino games. They currently cover casino, poker and bingo verticals and offer market-leading sign-up bonuses for their games such as the Betmaster promo code.

The operator works with over 20 in-house studios to produce gaming content, including Dice Lab, Boomerang, Max Win Gaming and Kalamba.

To further augment their offering, they also aggregate content through their Powered by Relax and Silver Bullet programmes, giving players an unparalleled selection of entertainment.

2021 has thus far been a successful year for Relax, who also picked up an EGR Nordics Casino Content Supplier award earlier this year.

Even we’re fed up with the rain, insist ducks

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Britain’s ducks say even they had enough of this relentless rain.

As the country shivers through yet another week of grey and wet misery, ducks say its incorrect to point at them in a sarcastic manner.

Mallard Jemima, three, from Grundisburgh, Suffolk explained: “When it rains a lot, people always say. ‘It’s nice weather… for ducks’.

“But it’s really not.

“Yes, we like swimming in water, but when it’s pissing down 24/7, we get as fed up as you.

“It’s not nice because people start giving us the evil eye as they trudge past sadly under their umbrellas.”

Suffolk Gazette weather expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said there seemed to be no hope of the rain going away any time soon, despite it being close to June.

“I have used the Suffolk Gazette’s sophisticated meteorological equipment to determine it will continue to tip it down every bloody day.