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Suffolk Gazette moves to Norfolk

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Suffolk Gazette moves to Norfolk
Norfolk Police pitchforks

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

The Suffolk Gazette is moving to the beautiful county of Norfolk, it emerged today.

The popular news website will undergo a redesign and be known, from later today, as the Norfolk Gazette.

Founder and Editor Mr Simon Young, who has been a keen Norwich City fan for many years, made the decision to move up the A140 because he wanted some intelligent conversation.

“I’ve always been very fond of Norfolk and its fine people,” he said in a statement this morning. “The Suffolk Gazette has been fun but if you want to make a success in business, you need to move to Norfolk.”

The shock move will come as a surprise to many, seeing as Norfolk, Norwich City, Delia Smith and Bubba Spuckler have been the subject of so many Suffolk Gazette “stories”.

“Myself and my wonderful team of writers are looking forward to settling into Norfolk and getting to know our families better,” said Mr Young.

Loyal Suffolk Gazette reader Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Well I for one won’t be reading it again.”

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Ipswich bus company hires new driver

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Ipswich bus company hires new driver
Reporters chat to the new Ipswich bus driver (Photo: DPRK Photography)

Ipswich Bus Corporation has hired a new driver from Asia as part of its diversity drive.

The unnamed apprentice from North Korea was shown off to reporters yesterday at the wheel of the Number 48, which serves the busy East Ipswich to town centre route.

IBC HR manager Bjorn Scania said: “We pride ourselves in employing people from across society.

“Our latest driver started with us this week and is very happy in his job.”

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The new driver, who asked not to be named, said: “I love buses. I drive all day and take happy people to their homes.

“My country has buses, too. I am learning how Ipswich Bus Corporation has become so efficient and then I will take my new skills and knowledge and apply them at home.

“We can then take even more people from their homes to the fields and factories.”

International diplomatic affairs spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is an excellent initiative from Ipswich Bus Corporation.

“We have helped the driver adjust to life in Ipswich. He says everything is exciting, apart from the local football team.”

Old friends Veronica and Pauline looking forward to bingo halls reopening

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Old friends Veronica and Pauline looking forward to bingo halls reopening
pensioners veronica and pauline at bingo hall
Pensioners Pauline Weller, centre, and her friend Veronica Wood at the bingo

Suffolk bingo fans, pensioners Veronica Wood and Pauline Weller say they can’t wait for bingo halls to reopen in a few weeks.

After golf courses and other outdoor pursuits reopened yesterday, the best friends said they did not have long to wait now before playing their favourite game again.

Veronica, 79, from Felixstowe, said: “It’s been a long few months stuck at home with little to do. Pauline and I used to go to the bingo three times a week. It was our only time out.

“I have missed her cheery face and the happy atmosphere down at the Jam Bingo Hall on the seafront.”

Veronica and pauline
Best pals Veronica and Pauline

Pauline, 82, was also looking forward to playing bingo again.

She said: “There’s not much to do when you’re my age and stuck at home in lockdown. I’ve missed my friend Veronica and our trips to bingo.

“But not long to wait now – I hear we can start playing again on May 17.”

Pauline, who has lived a street away from Pauline for 60 years, said that even though it had been frustrating, she understood why the country was in lockdown.

“We have both remained healthy, thankfully,” she said.

Our mugs hit the right note

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Trade chaos as Suffolk-Norfolk shipping route blocked

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Trade chaos as Suffolk-Norfolk shipping route blocked
trade blocked on Beccles Canal
The Hold Yew Hard stuck on the Beccles Canal (Photo: unknown Twitter)

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

There was a growing trade crisis in East Anglia today as a cargo vessel remained wedged across the main shipping route between Suffolk and Norfolk.

The Hold Yew Hard, carrying vital supplies of cakes and pastries, was seemingly blown off course by a gust of wind, running aground and blocking the country’s busiest shipping route.

Hundreds of ships are now stuck in queues in either direction, meaning a logistical nightmare for companies in both counties.

The Beccles Canal was built in 1974 to cut down shipping times between Suffolk and Norfolk.

Previously, ships had to go up the east coast from Felixstowe to Great Yarmouth. Now, vessels need only go on a straight line from Ipswich to Norwich, shaving minutes off the journey time.

East Anglian logistics expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said the blockage near Bungay was causing chaos.

“The Hold Yew Hard is wedged sideways across the canal and is causing lengthy delays.

“Special dredging equipment and tugs are arriving all the time to try and refloat it.

“Meanwhile, 79 boats are already stuck in queues waiting yo get through.

“The shipments include a crate of soap destined for Norfolk, which would normally last the whole of the county for five years, and a consignment of six-fingered gloves.”

There is also a lot of Amazon goods, including a container of MacGregor golf clubs that were meant to arrive in time for golf courses reopening today.

Irish football team’s dignity stuck in Suez Canal

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Irish football team’s dignity stuck in Suez Canal
Ireland dignity stuck in Suez Canal
Ireland’s dignity is stuck in the Suez Canal

The Irish national football team’s dignity is stuck in a container in the Suez Canal, it has emerged.

Players who inexplicably lost 1-0 at home to tiny Luxembourg in a World Cup qualifier had hoped the embarrassment would not last long.

But now logistics experts have confirmed the team’s dignity is stuck in a container on board the EverGreen ship, which ran aground in the Suez Canal, causing chaos.

The dignity is not expected to reach Ireland for many more weeks.

Luxembourg, ranked 98th in the world, won 1-0 in Dublin on Saturday night, virtually ending Ireland’s chances of making it to the next World Cup.

Shipping expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained the Irish team will take longer than hoped to get over the shock defeat.

“Unfortunately, the Irish team’s dignity is stuck on a ship in the Suez Canal and will take many more weeks to make it to Ireland.

“The players will just have to be ridiculed for much longer than they had hoped.”

She explained the container of dignity had been loaded in China, alongside lots of goods destined for Amazon, like new lawnmowers.

Meanwhile, England showed how to dispatch of footballing minnows, thrashing San Marino 5-0 on Thursday.

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Brits rejoice as clocks go forward, shortening lockdown by one hour

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Brits rejoice as clocks go forward, shortening lockdown by one hour

Britain is rejoicing at the news that the clocks are going forward this weekend, cutting lockdown misery by one hour.

The shift means it will now be 2pm before you feel like locking your partner in a cupboard, rather than 1pm.

Lockdown person Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “These are dark days.

“But now the clocks are going forward they won’t be quite as dark until about 7.30pm.

“I have never been so pleased to lose an hour of my life.

“Lockdown at home with my partner and kids is getting harder by the day.”

When do the clocks go forward?

One hour less of lockdown happens at 1am this Sunday, so be sure to change your watch and clocks before going to bed.

Officials say it will also be a joy that the clock in your car will now be the correct time again because you never bothered to change it last October.

It’s not just Lorraine Fisher who is excited about the clocks going forward – golfers are delighted that it is one hour less to wait before they can finally go out and play again on Monday.

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How to choose the right boiler & home emergency plan: guiding considerations

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How to choose the right boiler & home emergency plan: guiding considerations

Choosing the right boiler cover & home emergency insurance plan is constant stress. The decision needs to be based on some factors that can serve your household needs on better grounds. Plus, you need to be extra careful to avoid breaking your budget. 

Let’s look at a few factors that you must consider when picking the boiler service plan.

Pick the right type of boiler cover

There are a number of options available when it comes to choosing a boiler & home emergency plan. However, you may want to pick a coverage plan that can well-serve your boiler and home emergency needs. Boiler covers vary, depending on cost, maintenance, repair, and service contracts. Some plans only have to offer boilers, other imperative things like plumbing, heating, drains, etc. wouldn’t be included. However, some plans will also be covering for electrical wiring and even pest control.

If you are looking to get your hands on a reliable and sustainable boiler & home emergency cover at an affordable price, then visit https://corgihomeplan.co.uk/.

The cost of boiler cover

Price is one of the important considerations when it comes to picking the right type of boiler cover. The more you will pay, the more you will get. If you don’t want to break your budget, then you are advised to go for an average boiler cover package that will serve basic needs. However, if you are looking to get more under a boiler coverage plan, you will have to pay more.

Generally speaking, the probability of desiring an expensive boiler cover is quite low. Most people (66%) believe that paying for a basic home coverage plan is financially worthwhile. You may also want to invest in a budget-friendly annual boiler cover plan that will just cover boiler breakdown, repair, and annual boiler service.

You don’t need to pay for more than you need!

Understand the boiler policy exclusion

When comparing different boilers and home emergency service providers, you may want to pin down options based on what they have to offer and at what cost. As mentioned earlier, it is in your best interest to choose a basic boiler cover plan that has to offer more at a low cost. However, there are other boiler policy exclusions that you must know about, for instance;

Boiler Life: As a new or existing customer, you must be well-aware that some boiler cover providers don’t have to offer a renewal policy. Your boiler coverage plan will expire after it reaches a certain age. Typically, boiler life is 2 to 5 years, and after that, you will have to look for a new cover plan or a new provider.

Boiler Age: If you intend to get a coverage plan against an old boiler (more than 10 to 15 years), then you must know that most of the boiler cover providers wouldn’t want to accept you as a new customer. You may have to stick with an existing plan and provider.

Cost Limit: In case your boiler breaks down, and it demands expensive repair to work properly, then it would be best to have a support coverage plan with “no limit on repair costs.” It is sensible on your end to pick the best boiler brand that can guarantee 100% guaranteed repair without putting a limit on repair costs.

The claiming procedures

It is vital to learn about the claiming procedures when choosing the boiler cover and home emergency provider. You may not want to invest your money in a plan for which you haven’t checked the claiming procedures. You are required to check on the claiming policies & periods.

Different types of home emergency providers have to offer different types of plans that come with different types of claiming policies. The nature of the plan you pick will set the claiming procedures.

For example, according to some boiler coverage plans, users are not allowed to claim anything for at least 30 days. It is suggested to directly ask your home emergency provider about the claiming periods. This way, you can get your boiler cover fixed on time, in case something goes wrong in the future.

Know the maintenance plan

It would be appropriate to directly ask your provider about the maintenance plan and services. This can help you analyze what you are paying for and whether you can expect efficient support from your boiler service provider.

Under many circumstances, you may need instant support from your provider. For example; when all of a sudden your boiler breaks down or it is badly installed or had parts fitted incorrectly. Your home emergency provider needs to have a proactive approach to handle breakdown problems and ensure smooth running.

Axed Game of Thrones plot saw Cersei stealing the North’s greyscale vaccine

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Axed Game of Thrones plot saw Cersei stealing the North’s greyscale vaccine
Queen Cersei greyscale vaccine
Queen Cersei in shock vaccine grab (Photo: HBO)

A storyline involving Queen Cersei grabbing all of the North’s greyscale vaccine for King’s Landing was scrapped for being too implausible, it has emerged.

In the plot, which was originally written for the fourth series, Kings Landing counsellor had been slow to spend their gold on the precious vaccine, which stops citizens from getting the lethal virus.

As people of the Kingdom of the North rejoiced at the fast and successful rollout of their vaccine, King’s Landing was in a mess with hardly anyone getting the jab.

Show insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, revealed: “Queen Cersei was absolutely furious that the North had got their act together first and ordered lots of the vaccine.

“Her own Kingdom was way too slow, wasting precious time arguing about army supplies, shipbuilding and brothels.

“As a result, hardly anyone was got vaccinated in King’s Landing and the natives were beginning to protest.

“So Queen Cersei did what any tyrant would, and blamed the North for doing things correctly – and ordering her army to march north and grab all of its vaccine.

“She also decided to blockade Essos to prevent any further vaccine exports to the North – even though they were contractually obliged to do so.

greyscale in Game of Thrones
A victim of greyscale in Game of Thrones (Photo: HBO)

Greyscale is a deadly virus that affects the patient’s skin before killing them.

It is believe the pandemic swept Westeros after a peasant in Dorne ate a scorpion from a dodgy food market.

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