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Occasional furniture spends rest of the time doing sod all

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Occasional furniture is lazy and workshy, a Suffolk Gazette investigation has revealed.

Our undercover reporters spent days secretly filming occasional tables, chairs and chests and found they do absolutely nothing else the rest of the time.

We watched aghast as one occasional table was happy to be used for serving breakfast for 20 minutes, but then sat there idle for the rest of the day.

“Occasional furniture has had it easy for too long,” said sofa Steve Walshe, 43. “I work all the time as a sofa and it’s about time occasional furniture shared the load.”

But Lorraine Fisher, 34, a sturdy 36-inch chest, responded: “I don’t mind my drawers being rifled occasionally, but no more.

“I’m good for occasional use in the bedroom only.”

Mugs for all occasions

Our mugs are perfect for all occasions and make ideal Christmas gifts and stocking fillers. Order from the Dirty Old Goat website or browse the selection below…

Tiers at bedtime

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There will be tiers at bedtime today as Britain realises coming out of lockdown next week means nothing of the sort.

The Government today sets out which tiers all of us will be in after December 2, with tougher rules in each.

And most people will find they are still facing severe restrictions, impacting on business and daily routines.

Even Suffolk, despite being one of the most COVID-free counties of Britain, might not scrape into Tier 1.

Going to the pub means having to eat a substantial meal, recite War and Peace off the top of your head, balance on one leg with your eyes closed while turning in circles, wearing all red and carrying a plank of wood.

Suffolk woman Lorraine Fisher, 34, was dismayed by the prospect of more tiers.

“Bollocks,” she said.

Cheer up with Christmas gifts

Get your gifts and stocking fillers early to avoid the rush! Buy direct from our Dirty Old Goat partner below…

How choosing wisely can keep you safe when playing bingo online

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When looking for a bingo site to sign up to, it can often be quite hard to find one that ticks all of the boxes that are important to you. However, there is one thing that should be your top priority, and that is your online safety.

Online bingo authority BingoSites.com combines decades of experience in the industry to not only bring you highly in-depth knowledge of the game and the latest developments, but also the newest and best bingo sites that are available for you.

This means that they carry out forensic research of every bingo operator in the industry before deciding whether they fit exacting standards in accordance with the UKGC (UK Gambling Commission). Following this, they then provide accurate, detailed, and above all balanced reviews of each one, so that you can make a well-informed decision.

What crucial factors are taken into account?

There is no compromise on a number of key factors including online player safety. Bingosites.com only lists bingo sites that have first and foremost been licensed by the UKGC as a minimum and also been through their own rigorous vetting processes.

This includes a number of important factors which also help to shape the basis of their highly detailed reviews. Hours of time go into researching a bingo site and their own industry experts who have decades of experience spend time doing a deep dive into each site and investigating every single element.

The review process

Firstly, they go through the registration process a number of times to check for any potential inconsistencies, while also following the welcome bonus and playing through the wagering requirements, depositing using each of the available payment options. By doing this, they can accurately come to a conclusion about how good the welcome bonus is and how secure and efficient that the deposit method is.

Hours of time goes into playing every available game to make sure that each one does what it claims to do, how secure they are during the gameplay itself and how good the chat host is. The vast majority of every online slot is also checked out, especially if they are new or from a new software provider. This is reflected in their reviews.

Withdrawal methods are also taken into account and as a result, bingo sites test each method to make sure they are reliable and to check how long the process is.

Christmas gifts your Norfolk simpleton friends will love

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Regular readers will know that the Suffolk Gazette is extremely fond of Norfolk. It’s why we have produced some special Norfolk Christmas gifts that IN NO WAY TAKE THE MICKEY.

Purchase any and more of these beauties from our sister printing empire, dirtyoldgoat.com – and you will make someone from Norfolk very happy this Christmas as they gaze lovingly into their brother’s/sister’s eyes.

First up, the ‘Norfolk, where Bob is not necessarilly just your uncle’ mug, which comes with a free handle that you can almost fit six fingers through.

Next, we have the ‘For the benefit of Norwich fans, this is a cup’ mug. Yes, we know Norwich are top of the Championship and Ipswich are, well, let’s move on. But they have still never won anything while Ipswich have been European and English champions. So there.

Being nice for one moment, here is a football mug those numpties might actually enjoy. You can be kind at Christmas. It’s the ‘On the ball, City’ mug. Yuk.

If you know anyone who, for some inexplicable reason, is going to visit or, perish the thought, move to Norfolk, you might like to give them this handy ‘How to talk Norfolk mug’.

This one works just as well in Suffolk but they tend to utter it in Norfolk, too. Usually when they try to pile turnips on top of one another (it’s a big Norfolk sport).

Finally, if you feel inclined to teach someone from Norfolk how to speak properly – an impossible task, we appreciate – then send them this ‘How to talk Suffolk’ mug.

We hope that has given you some excellent Christmas gift ideas for your Norfolk simpleton friends.

All our mugs are produced to order right here in Suffolk and are exclusive to dirtyoldgoat.com – visit the website for the full collection, some of which are repeated below.

We toddle off to the Post Office with your mug within one working day. The Royal Mail then does its thing – please be aware delivery times are already under pressure, so get your orders in now!

Full mugs collection

Five-day Christmas COVID amnesty still not enough time to finish Monopoly

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Families say five days is not long enough to finish their game of Christmas Monopoly, it has emerged.

Although three households are now allowed to mix for five days over the Christmas period, there will still be three people fighting over the board game.

Excited mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “While the announcement that we can get together for five days is welcome, it will cut short some traditional festivities.

“My partner Steve, the kids, my dad and uncle Derek and his stepson start playing Monopoly on Christmas Eve and it usually takes a week.

“We may have to give up on the game and do something else instead, although to be honest we’ll be sick of each other after five days and longing to go back to isolation.”

Partner Steve Walshe, 43, had got himself a special Suffolk version of Monopoly and now fears it will remain unboxed.

“I’ll wait until we are away for a week on summer holiday,” he said.

Get your Christmas gifts here

The Suffolk Gazette’s mugs make ideal Christmas gifts and stocking fillers. You’ll find something for all the family at the Dirty Old Goat mugs website, or you can buy a mug directly below…

The gambling industry: a review of 2020

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The gambling industry underwent considerable changes in 2020 compared to previous years. With the outbreak of COVID-19, the industry had to adapt. With most land-based venues, including in Las Vegas, Macau, and Monaco closed, playing online became a new hit, providing entertainment for more people.

One of the tremendous changes of the year was the global switch to online. With COVID-19 lockdown measures, more people went from the office to working from home. Since all the conventional entertainment means, such as theatres, shops, cinemas, and other facilities, shut their doors, online entertainment became the most relevant attraction for millions. It was an excellent time for streaming services, online cinemas, and online casinos, in particular. Those who preferred gambling in land-based facilities and specialised venues had to switch to online sites.

When it comes to one of the most distinctive features of the gambling industry in 2020, fierce competition stands out. The crucial point is that dozens of holdings and casino groups started competing against each other to attract new audiences. While some groups and affiliate programs introduced generous promotions, others adding new games and titles.

Since the competition among gambling websites in 2020 was fiercer than ever, it is a must for regular gamblers to choose an appropriate platform. For that reason, you are advised to read reviews of the best payout online casinos to choose a decent and licensed gambling website. Please note that it’s now more difficult than ever to find an online casino with the best payout in just a few clicks. That’s why reading specialised reviews is necessary.

2020 was the time when people slowed down their usual routine. With thousands of employees switching to remote work, it was undoubtedly stressful to go through 2020 but one of the most significant changes that happened regarding the gambling industry was the increase in the popularity of mobile gaming. Since most online casino sites now deliver mobile-friendly sites, gambling online from mobile devices has never been easier.

In 2020, significant progress was made with transferring dozens of functionality features to mobile gambling sites, including demo versions of slot machines and table games. It is no surprise that with sporting events canceled, there was a rise in interest in eSports. Such disciplines as CS: GO, League of Legends, Overwatch, Dota 2, or Fortnite hosted plenty of tournaments and found new fans.

Independent analytics highlighted that more online casinos added sports betting options, combining gambling and betting audiences under the umbrella of a single platform.

Another noticeable 2020 trend was a renewed interest in cryptocurrencies and blockchain technologies. Since this year was full of negative implications for individuals worldwide, people became interested in cryptocurrencies more than before, and the gambling industry took notice, accepting cryptocurrencies as payment methods.

Even though it is universally agreed that cryptocurrencies are still too new to overthrow the conventional currencies and banking systems, it’s still an impressive technology. For most gamblers, having some BTC became a chance to top up their accounts in 2020 and start playing straight away.

Summary

Even though 2020 was undoubtedly a problematic year with dozens of socio-economic, health care, and social issues, the gambling industry seemed resilient. When it comes to the crucial trends that highlighted the industry’s progress in 2020, the aspects of fierce competition, mobile gaming, eSports, and cryptocurrencies stood out the most.

Casinos and gambling in Suffolk

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Gambling has long been a tradition across the United Kingdom. With an abundance of land-based venues and quite a liberal legislation on casinos, UK gamblers have many places to play.

The excellent news is that all players are now given choices on what domain to gamble. While the land-based venues offer a top-notch atmosphere and safety, online casinos seem to be providing more comfort and convenience for regular gameplay endeavours.

In case you are in Suffolk right now, considering where to gamble, the following guide will be handy in reviewing all possible options you have.

Where to play?

Here are some options for you to experience.

Grosvenor Casino, Great Yarmouth

Like it or not, but to visit a real casino, you’d have to take a ride to Great Yarmouth. This place is located not far from Suffolk, yet it is the closest land-based venue you can visit. It offers hundreds of slot machines, table games, and specialties. In case you’re up for taking a rise, this place is worth giving a shot.

Online UK casinos

Suffolk has decent Internet coverage, making it possible to access one of the licensed UK gambling websites. There, you can enjoy the same range of slot machines and tables. The benefits of playing there are considerable since you can get plenty of promos and bonuses. In case you’re looking for a suitable gambling platform, consider reading a review of the $10 deposit casino website. You’d quickly find a decent casino offering a minimum deposit of $10. Please note that UK casinos are fascinating for enjoying all your beloved games in a legal environment.

Newmarket Racecourse

This is one of the largest venues in Suffolk, offering racecourses, food courts, and dozens of entertainment facilities. The good news is that you can find bookies there, allowing you to bet on horse races. Even though it might not be gambling as a whole, having an option to wager on these sports is decent. For that reason, Suffolk seems to have enough options for its residents and tourists to bet on sports facilities.

Southwold Pier

Bear in mind that Suffolk is not the most extensive county you can travel to while being in the UK. That’s why it has South Pier, a relatively small family entertainment center, which also features gambling endeavours. In particular, you can visit its second floor so that you would see dozens of penny slot machines. Despite the fact that winnings there are relatively limited due to low deposit options, those are still slot machines to try out. Please note that South Pier hosts plenty of slots for all tastes and preferences. That’s why giving this place a visit is smart once you’re up for a top-notch penny slot gameplay experience in Suffolk.

Offshore online casinos

Even though Suffolk citizens should only play in the UK-licensed gambling websites, giving a try to offshore ones is a temptation. Usually, those sites offer promotions and many players enjoy them, in the context of the Covid-19 impact on the gambling industry that shook this niche. Even though no one doubts that people’s socio-economic statuses declined, offshore casinos still have to offer much, even disregarding the COVID-19 times.

Honourable mentions: bingo halls

Speaking of other gambling options available in Suffolk, one should remember about dozens of bingo halls available. Right now, all Suffolk gambling enthusiasts are welcome to try out themselves in either Buzz Bingo or Mecca Bingo. The good news is that bingo is widely enjoyed, making it a real hit in this county. In case you’re looking for bingo gameplay, taking a ride to one of these halls is wise. Please note that their working hours might vary since the COVID-19 outbreak in the UK. Either way, having a chance to play bingo exactly in Suffolk is decent for all gamers around.

Putting the bins out has become the most exciting moment of the week

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putting the bins out now the most exciting moment of the week

Putting the wheelie bins out has become the week’s most exciting moment for lockdown Britain, it has emerged.

The routine is now the only chance anyone gets to see something of the outside world.

Couples are so keen to do the “chore” that they now squabble about who gets to do it.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “I’m now working from home. Our food is delivered by the supermarket so I never leave these four walls. It’s like a prison.

“Bin day is like day release. I get to go outside for a fleeting moment and there is even the possibility that I might see and interact with a human being, other than my useless partner, Steve.”

Steve Walshe, 43, said bin day was a man’s job and Lorraine should stop moaning.

“I look forward to it,” he explained.

“I take as long as I can to drag the general waste bin out to the pavement, where I linger for perhaps a little longer than I should in case I catch sight of another human.

“I’m even happy to chat to Beryl, the mad old lady at number 72 who has eight cats.

“Every other Tuesday is perfect because I get to take two bins out, the paper waste and the organic waste. That’s two trips and I can make that last 40 minutes if I really put my mind to it.”

Lorraine butted in: “If he put as much effort into the things that need doing around the house he might not be so miserable.”

Buy some wheelie great mugs

Our mugs make exceptional Christmas gifts and stocking fillers. Buy now before the delivery services get too overwhelmed! Browse our collection on the Christmas mugs ideas website, or buy direct below…