After being banned from Twitter, Donald Trump decided to start “Wonder Moron”. It’s the latest social media app where you can order KFC and have a group of drones come over to your house and give you a tattoo of the Swastika.
The only way you can sign up for this social media app is if you order KFC and agree to get the Swastika tattooed on your arm, lower back, and inside your lip. Unfortunately no people of color, democrats, open minded liberals, atheists, free thinkers, or foreigners are allowed on this app.
So you might be wondering, what’s so special about this app? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No wonder the app is called Wonder Moron.
Donald Trump app funding
Donald Trump personally tried to get funding from venture capitalist firms in silicon valley but they all declined because they thought the idea was absurd. He even went as far as kidnapping Indian software engineers to build his app for $2 dollars an hour.
Hugh Dennett, a famous British comedian poked fun at Wonder Moron’s slogan which reportedly, Trump himself came up with. The slogan is, “Women are always wondering what you’re thinking about. Don’t tell them, let them keep wondering.”
Is it a threat to Elon Musk?
Dennett later commented saying, “This slogan has nothing to do with his social media app. Is it really a social media app? More like Uber Eats for neonazis. Uber is a German word after all meaning “over”, “above”, or “accross”. The slogan should be, “The rest of the world is always wondering what this moron is thinking about doing next with his outrageous business ventures.”
Lorraine Fisher, 34, a Marketing Expert and Journalist had an extremely private conversation with a person from “Wonder Moron”. This person did not want to reveal themselves so they dressed up The Hulk, painted his body green, and had a voice modifier.
This person was also eating greasy chicken from KFC. During the interview, grease spilled on his voice modifier, which made it malfunction revealing that it was obviously Donald Trump. He was supposed to be green like the hulk but slowly during the interview, he started turning orange like “The Thing” from Fantastic four.
Conclusion
The interview ended abruptly with Trump saying, “When you agree to the terms, a group of drones will deliver a special phone with the app already installed in order to track you. You cannot download it from the app store. Also, you have to pay to use it, which is $500 per month.”
So, will you leave Twitter and move to Wonder Moron?
Matt Hancock to appear as McFly in West End Back to the Future
Disgraced celebrity MP, Matt Hancock is to appear as Marty McFly in the west end musical version of Back to the Future.
Sources close to the Musical’s production team told this reporter that it was Hancock’s ability to rewrite history rather than his acting skills that won him the part of teenage student rocker Marty McFly, portrayed by Michael J. Fox in the trilogy of films.
Hancock as McFly in West End
Hancock, who has been widely criticized for dumping his wife and kids for a gorgeous milkmaid with whom he used to work, has also been accused of re-writing history in his favour in his book, Pandemic Diaries: The inside story of Britain’s battle against Covid. In it, the potato-faced MP (or whatever he is) claimed that he broke Covid-19 lockdown restrictions not because he thought he could get away with it, or because he was too arrogant to think the rules applied to him but ‘because of love’ for his gorgeously slutty milkmaid.
You’re a slacker, Hancock
Elsewhere in the book, Hancock again revisits the past, this time to shift blame away from his own decision to release care home residents from hospitals without testing (which some people believe led to thousands of unnecessary deaths) and onto the shoulders of care home staff going about their regular duties. Great Scott!
Make like a tree, and get out of here
It remains to be seen how Hancock will fare on the west end stage but, regardless of his calibre as an actor, his skill as a politician, or his penchant for eating camel penises, he will mostly be remembered as a typical, self-publicizing politician, interested in, above all else, himself. Considering that politics is, after all, show business for ugly people, he should probably have stayed right where he was.
If you’re considering moving to the UK, it’s important to be well-prepared in order to make the most of your new home. From obtaining the necessary visas to finding a place to live, there are many details to consider. Here are some things you need to prepare if moving to the UK:
Determine your purpose for moving
Before you start the process of moving to the UK, it’s important to determine your purpose for moving. Are you moving for work, study, family, or something else? The type of visa you’ll need to obtain will depend on your reason for moving.
Research visa options
There are several types of visas available for those who want to move to the UK. The most common types of visas for those moving to the UK include work visas, student visas, and family visas. It’s important to research the different visa options and determine which one is best for your situation.
Find a place to live
Once you’ve determined your purpose for moving and obtained a visa, it’s time to start looking for a place to live. This may involve finding a job, enrolling in school, or finding a place to stay with family or friends. Keep in mind that the cost of living in different parts of the UK can vary significantly, so it’s important to research your options and budget accordingly.
Learn about the culture
The UK is a diverse and culturally rich country, but it can be different from what you’re used to in your home country. It’s a good idea to research the culture of your destination and learn about local customs, traditions, and norms. This can help you feel more comfortable and settled in your new home.
Understand the healthcare system
The healthcare system in the UK is different from what you may be used to in your home country. It’s a good idea to research the healthcare options available to you and make sure you have adequate coverage. This may involve enrolling in the National Health Service (NHS) or purchasing private health insurance.
Know your rights
It’s important to understand your rights as an immigrant in the UK. This includes your rights to work, study, and access healthcare, as well as your rights to fair treatment and due process. It’s a good idea to research these rights and seek a UK immigration advice from a lawyer if you have any questions or concerns.
Learn about the education system
The education system in the UK is different from what you may be used to in your home country. If you have children, it’s a good idea to research the education options available to them and enroll them in school. It’s also a good idea to research the options for higher education if you’re planning on pursuing further studies in the UK.
Find ways to stay connected
Moving to a new country can be challenging, and it’s important to find ways to stay connected with your loved ones back home. This may involve using video chat or social media to stay in touch, or finding ways to connect with others from your home country in your new location.
Seek out support
Adjusting to life in a new country can be overwhelming, and it’s important to seek out support if you need it. This may involve joining a support group, seeking the advice of a therapist, or finding other resources to help you navigate your new home.
Embrace new experiences
While moving to a new country can be intimidating, it’s also an exciting opportunity to experience new things and broaden your horizons. Embrace your new surroundings and try new things, whether it’s trying new foods, exploring new neighborhoods, or participating in local events and activities. This can help you feel more connected to your new home and make the transition easier.
Learn about the legal system
The legal system in the UK is different from what you may be used to in your home country. It’s a good idea to research the legal system and familiarize yourself with your rights and responsibilities as a resident or citizen. This may include learning about the criminal justice system, the court system, and your rights as a tenant or homeowner.
Understand taxes
In the UK, it’s important to understand the tax system and your responsibilities as a resident or citizen. This may involve filing tax returns, paying taxes on your income, and understanding any tax credits or deductions you may be eligible for. It’s a good idea to seek the advice of a tax professional or UK immigration lawyer for advice if you have any questions or concerns.
Research employment options
If you’re moving to the UK for work, it’s a good idea to research employment options and find a job before you move. This may involve networking with professionals in your field, applying for jobs online, or seeking the advice of a job placement agency. Keep in mind that the job market in different parts of the UK can vary, so it’s important to do your research and be flexible.
Learn about transportation options
Transportation options in the UK may be different from what you’re used to in your home country. It’s a good idea to research your options and consider how you’ll get around your new home. This may involve purchasing a car, using public transportation, or relying on ride-sharing services.
Obtain necessary documents
Before moving to the UK, it’s important to make sure you have all of the necessary documents in order. This may include your passport, birth certificate, and any other documents required for your visa application. It’s also a good idea to make copies of these documents in case they get lost or stolen while you’re in the UK.
Pack wisely
When packing for your move to the UK, it’s important to think carefully about what you’ll need and what you can leave behind. Consider the climate, culture, and lifestyle of your new location and pack accordingly. It’s also a good idea to leave some room in your luggage for items you may want to bring back from your travels in the UK.
Consider your budget
Moving to the UK can be expensive, so it’s important to consider your budget carefully. Research the cost of living in your destination and make a plan for how you’ll pay for expenses like housing, food, and transportation. You may also want to consider opening a bank account in the UK and transferring money from your home country to cover your expenses.
Make a plan for your pets
If you have pets, you’ll need to make arrangements for them to come with you to the UK. This may involve obtaining a pet passport and ensuring that your pet is up to date on their vaccinations. It’s important to research the process and requirements for bringing pets to the UK in advance so you can make the necessary arrangements.
Take care of practicalities
There are many practicalities to consider when moving to the UK, such as closing bank accounts, canceling utilities, and transferring your driver’s license. Make a list of all of the tasks you need to take care of before you leave and start checking them off one by one. This will help ensure a smooth transition to your new home.
Prepare for culture shock
It’s natural to experience some culture shock when moving to a new country, even if you’re familiar with the culture. It’s a good idea to research what to expect and be prepared for the challenges that you may face. This may include language barriers, different customs and traditions, and adjusting to a new way of life. It’s important to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new surroundings.
Get familiar with the local area
Once you’ve arrived in the UK, it’s a good idea to get familiar with your local area. This may involve finding a grocery store, a pharmacy, and other essential services that you may need. It’s also a good idea to research the local attractions and activities in your area, so you can start exploring and making the most of your new home.
Overall, moving to the UK can be a challenging but rewarding experience. By being well-prepared and taking care of the details, you can make the most of your new home and enjoy all that the UK has to offer.
Online Activities That Are Popular Among UK Residents
The United Kingdom is home to a large and diverse population of internet users, and there are many online activities that are popular among UK residents. Some of the top online activities preferred by UK residents include:
Social media:
Social media platforms, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, are some of the most popular online activities in the UK. These platforms allow users to connect with friends and family, share photos and videos, and stay up to date on news and events.
Online shopping:
Online shopping has become increasingly popular in the UK, with many consumers turning to the internet to purchase a wide range of goods and services. Online shopping offers convenience and a wider selection of products compared to traditional brick-and-mortar stores.
Online gaming:
Online gaming is another popular activity among UK residents. This includes a variety of games, such as computer and console games, as well as online casino and poker games.
Streaming video:
Streaming video platforms, such as Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, are popular among UK residents for their convenience and wide selection of content. These platforms allow users to stream movies, TV shows, and other video content on demand.
Online news and information:
Many UK residents turn to the internet to stay informed about current events and news. Online news sites, such as BBC News and The Guardian, are popular sources of information for UK residents.
Overall, the internet offers a wide range of activities and resources for UK residents, and these are just a few.
Online poker
is also gaining much popularity lately and is played all over the internet. It allows players to participate in poker games from anywhere with an internet connection and offers a wide range of games and formats to choose from.
In the United Kingdom, online poker is regulated by the Gambling Commission, which is responsible for licensing and regulating the industry. To operate an online poker room in the UK, a company must hold a valid license from the Gambling Commission.
Online poker rooms in the UK offer a variety of games, including Texas hold’em, Omaha, and seven-card stud. These games are available in various formats, including cash games, tournaments, and sit-and-go’s. Many online poker rooms also offer additional features, such as the ability to play multiple tables at once, in-game statistics, and hand history replay. We found the best rooms listed at Top10pokersites, a top online poker review site covering everything from news to the best bonuses and promotions.
In addition to traditional online poker, there has also been a growth in the popularity of mobile poker, which allows players to play poker on their smartphones or tablets. This has made it even more convenient for players to participate in online poker, as they can play from anywhere with an internet connection.
There have been many successful poker players from the United Kingdom. Some of the most successful and well-known players include:
Sam Trickett – Trickett is one of the most successful tournament poker players from the UK, with over $20 million in career tournament earnings.
Victoria Coren Mitchell – A well-known television presenter and journalist in the UK, Coren Mitchell is also a successful poker player. She is the only player to have won both a WSOP bracelet and a European Poker Tour (EPT) title.
Jake Cody – Cody is a young but successful tournament poker player, with over $7 million in career earnings. He is a three-time EPT champion and has also won a WSOP bracelet.
Liv Boeree – Boeree is a famous UK poker player and television presenter. She has won over $3 million in tournament earnings and has one WSOP bracelet to her name.
Toby Lewis – Lewis is a successful tournament poker player with over $9 million in career earnings. He has won two EPT titles and succeeded in WSOP events.
There are many other successful poker players from the UK, including Chris Moorman, Stephen Chidwick, and Sam Holden, to name a few.
The online poker industry in the UK has experienced significant growth in recent years and is expected to continue to grow. It is likely that the industry will continue to evolve and innovate, with new features and formats being introduced to meet players’ changing needs and preferences.
Horny shoppers all over the UK did not receive their kinky toys for Christmas this year due to Royal Mail workers strike.
Post offices all over the country are now flooded with mountains and mountains of dildos with nobody around to deliver them.
Royal Mail workers strike
Hugh Dennett, a post officer manager stated that they have been flood with orders since September, running the operation 24 hours, 7 days a week to get the sex toys to the people. The thing is, there are simply not enough workers to do the job due to the strikes.
Dennett later stated, “If it isn’t resolved pretty soon there will be hundreds if not thousands of sex-starved Brits this New Year. That’s not really in keeping with the festive spirit.”
There are many reasons which triggered the walkouts such as salary, poor job conditions, and rules and regulations.
It would have been a true Christmas miracle if Santa Claus himself filled his good old sleigh with 6 tons of dildos and threw them all over the city on Christmas morning.
Everyone will wake up to a blizzard of dicks hitting their homes, cars, lawns, pools and even your head if you happen to be outside at the time.
We can only wish for a Christmas Dildo Miracle.
In the meantime, what are the people in the UK supposed to do without their toys?
Making your own KINKY TOY
Lorraine Fisher, 34, founder, CEO, and lead engineer at GetFruityCo.com, released a detailed tutorial on how to create your own sex toys with basic supplies found in the average household.
The tutorial is only 5 minutes long. Unfortuantly, many sex-starved brits were too turned on and impatient that they did not follow the entire tutorial which lead to fatal accidents.
Many used the wrong kind of batteries, or lubrication which lead to lethal electrocutions and severe allergic reactions.
Lorraine Fisher will face legal action for mass misinformation. She will be tried in court sometime in February 2023.
It is reported that the judge which will conduct the trial was a victim of these horrible events. This might not go well for Lorraine Fisher.
During the trial, they will watch the tutorial in which she will have to explain in detail how to make it and how to use it. It is still unknown whether Fisher will actually have to insert anything into her body.
A Suffolk entrepreneur has invented a jigsaw puzzle based on the pulling-out and replacing of his own teeth.
Gordon Pritt (63), a retired golden syrup tester for Lyle’s in Plaistow, London, thought up the idea while he was pulling out one of his own rotten teeth with a pair of plyers.
Pritt, who claims that the work he did at Lyle’s contributed to the poor condition of his teeth, started losing his adult teeth in 1978 when he first became a trainee syrup tester. “When I got the job, I couldn’t believe moi luck, because oi always lurved their Golden Syrup. I ‘ad it on my Shrove Tuesday pancakes ever since oi was a kid. Oi eats ‘em flat, not rolled – with a spoon. But arfter about a year of tastin’ the syrup, moi furst tooth started to jiggle-jaggle, and about a week later it popped out.”
Duty of dental care
Everyone knows that sugar is bad for the teeth, but golden syrup, which is pure sugar and very, sticky, sticks to teeth prolonging its corrosive effect on the tooth’s enamel. Gordon claims that no-one at Lyle’s ever made staff aware of the dangers of golden syrup, nor provided tooth-brushing training.
Today, however, after losing eleven teeth, Gordon’s poor dental hygiene is working to his advantage. He explained “When I pulled out the larst one, I was about to pop it in the jar oi keeps moi teeth in, when for some reason, oi decided to put it back in my gum. Oi troid it in arl the different ‘oles in moi gums, just for a bit of fun really. Then, oi looks at the jar of teeth, and oi takes out a pre-molar, and oi sticks that into another ‘ole. Boi now, oim startin’ to enjoy meself and so oi keeps goin’. Befar larng, oi’ve got me ‘ole mouth filled with teeth but in the wrong places! Larf!”
Dental mental
It was at this moment that Gordon’s genius idea popped into his mouth. I mean his head…
“Next, oi thought, wart if oi rearrange moi teeth in the roight order? Wouldn’t that be loike a jigsaw puzzle? Yes, it would, oi thart to moiself. So oi did et. Oi re-arranges ‘em, and then oi smoiles at meself an’ oi thinks ‘ow ‘ansome oi looks, an’ then they arl fell out.”
So what did you do?
“Oi troid again but this toim oi glued ‘em in with golden syrup, and it worked a treacle!”
And after that?
“Oi pulls ‘em out one boi one and licked arf the syrup, then oi puts ‘em back in their jar. Then, oi phones up jigsaws-R-us, a jigsaw manufacturer in Ipswich, an’ oi tells ‘em arl about moi teeth puzzle idea.”
And what did they say?
“They said they couldn’t understand wart oi was sayin’ and could oi put it in an email?”
Live casino gaming has become increasingly popular in the last few years, and the reasons are clear. Playing live dealer games provides an incredibly immersive experience, complete with real dealers you can interact with and other players you can play with. With live casino, you can enjoy the same feeling of a casino floor – minus the travel time and associated costs. For most people enjoying that pseudo-casino experience makes it something to look forward to, and the experience is worth the while.
Yes, a live casino may not be realistic, but the same experience has been brought to your fingertips. Every day, more applications and features are being developed, enabling users to enjoy the experience through their mobile device ecosystem. With so many games to enjoy, no one is left out, as new users get support with resources to enjoy the gaming sessions more.
For instance, if you enjoy live dealer baccarat, we found CasinoUSA’s tips for playing live baccarat valuable and truly offering players a chance to win real money. The same platform provides details on the most credible casinos to access these games, so definitely worth checking out.
Reasons to Play Live Casino Games
For an experienced player, understanding why you should play live casino games shouldn’t be debated. However, new and inexperienced players have a lot to learn regarding this innovation. With so many reasons available, here are seven essential ones to note.
1. Authentic Casino Experience
Live dealer games provide the most authentic casino experience you can find, with an immersive atmosphere that closely approximates the feeling of being in a physical casino. With real dealers and other players, you can enjoy the thrill of playing against real people and soak in the excitement of an actual casino floor. Well, apart from the complimentary champagne with live casino games, everything else feels the same.
2. Interaction with Real Dealers
Interacting with real dealers in live casino games allows you to get a more immersive experience, complete with real people to converse with. You can ask questions, get advice, and generally have a good time talking with the dealer.
You can communicate with the dealer and feel that human connection, which you can’t get with traditional online casino games. It’s also a great way to get a feel for the game and learn some tips and tricks from the experts. The exciting part is that all that happens from the comfort of your home.
3. Variety of Games
With live casino games, the variety of games available is truly impressive. From classic favorites like Roulette and Baccarat to modern hits such as Blackjack and Poker, there are plenty of choices to suit all tastes.
Furthermore, many live casino websites offer exclusive games, meaning you can enjoy something different and unique. Plus, with new games being added all the time, you can always find something new to try out. You will find something interesting whether it’s an old favorite or something entirely new.
4. Ability to Play Multiple Tables
If you have been to a casino, you’d know that you can only physically be at one table. This streamlines your chances of winning, but the innovation of live dealer games eradicates that flaw. This means you can be at multiple tables at once and get your fill of bets. You can diversify your bets, giving you more chances to win and a better overall experience.
5. Live Chat Feature
Many live casino games feature a live chat feature, enabling you to interact with the dealer and other players in real time. This makes playing live dealer games a much more social experience and enhances the feeling of being in a real casino.
6. Lower House Edge
“The house always wins,” and since that’s a rule that can’t change, live dealer games give you compensation. The games often come with lower house edges compared to traditional casino games, providing you with better odds of winning. This makes live dealer games ideal for those looking to maximize their chances of success.
7. Bonuses and Promotions
Finally, many live casino platforms offer impressive bonuses and promotions to their players. These rewards can range from deposit bonuses to free spins or cash back on your losses. Live casino games offer plenty of value for money and can be an excellent way to boost your winnings.
Conclusion
Live dealer games offer an incredible experience that combines the thrill of real casino gaming with the convenience of playing from the comfort of your home. With real dealers, real players, and the chance to interact with them, these games provide an immersive atmosphere that traditional online casino games can match.
Not only that, they often come with a lower house edge, making them more profitable for players. All these factors combine to make live casino games an excellent choice for anyone who wants to try their luck and have some fun.
Enjoy all that Christmas has to offer, but look after that brain too
Mince pies, a quick rummage through the Quality Street tin, and just one more turkey sandwich is generally the soundtrack to any British Christmas. We love to indulge and, when the weather is grey and cold, there’s no better time for it. However, there comes a point where Christmas television, endless grazing, and perhaps a glass of glühwein too many starts to make us feel sluggish. Our get-up-and-go leaves us, our brains feel foggy and, generally, a lot of us are absolutely ready to snap out of the Christmas routine come the New Year. If you’d rather avoid falling into it in the first place, then we’ve got some tips to keep your brain going during the festive season.
Embrace the Great Outdoors
It might be cold out there but embracing it for a few minutes will do you the world of good
Our first tip is hugely important. Even though it might be grey, cold, wet or windy, or even a wonderful combination of them all, getting outside does wonders for your brain. Wrap up warm, embrace the weather and enjoy a quick walk around the block. If you can, find some green space and aim for those 10,000 steps. We’re lucky to have the beach on our doorstep, a popular walking spot, so head out and watch the waves. Seeing the sunshine in the darkest days of the year will help to lift your mood, whilst engaging in a little light exercise will boost your endorphins too. You don’t have to complete a marathon or climb a mountain; just a small change will make a big difference.
Teach Yourself a New Game
Once you’ve gone out for that endorphin-boosting walk, it’s nice to have something to come home to and get started on. Learning a new game is a fun way to get your brain working, and one that you really won’t have to work hard to convince yourself to do. Poker and chess are great choices as they are both games that grow with you. When you start off with poker, you’ll want to work out which hand ranking is the strongest and play your best hand each time; slowly you’ll begin working out pot odds and improving your bluffing technique. In chess, you’ll start by learning how the pieces move and, before long, you’ll be knee-deep in theories about opening gambits.
If you reach a lull in your practice then there are some ways to overcome it. Having a deadline can be a great motivator for some people. If you are trying to learn the rules of poker, you can sign up for a poker tournament to make sure you start spending a little more time remembering hand rankings. Poker’s popularity has grown with the rise of online poker tournaments and the ease of playing from anywhere. Chess will work just the same with online and in-person tournaments available throughout the UK, as well as the ability to learn all the moves of the pieces.
Learn a Language
If you enjoyed learning a new game then why not kick your New Year’s resolutions off a little early? Learning a language is one of the ultimate brain boosters and something us Brits tend to fall behind on when compared with the rest of the world. Those who speak a foreign language fluently are far less likely to develop memory problems associated with aging and, not only that, but it can open up a whole new world of holidaying possibilities. Whlilst it’s certainly easy to get by with English in many countries, speaking a common language like Mandarin, Spanish or even French can help you out in more rural locations.
There are lots of apps that will help you to achieve your linguistic goals and, with so many people having language learning as a resolution, there are usually offers to be had in the new year. Duolingo is a great option for those who want to gamify their learning, whilst Busuu will suit people who like a social element to their lessons. Getting to listen to feedback from native speakers is a great way to quickly improve your skills and the scoreboard systems on both apps keeps you accountable when you’re starting to slip in the frequency of your practices.
