Tuesday, April 2, 2024

‘I misspoke, I meant to say I’m a complete cockwomble’, says Trump

US President Donald Trump claims a slip of his tongue meant he said “I’m in charge” instead of “I’m a complete cockwomble”.

He made the frank admission at a hastily arranged press conference in Washington last night.


The world was horrified when Mr Trump refused to acknowledge the growing global disquiet over his presidency, instead declaring: “I’m in charge.”

“It should have been obvious, I thought it would be obvious,” Mr Trump explained to reporters at the White House, “but I would like to clarify just in case it wasn’t.

“I misspoke. Instead the sentence should have been,’I’m a complete cockwomble’. So you can put that in.”

His dramatic about-turn settled everyone down, and no-one thought it odd that the supposed leader of the free world could have got something so fundamentally wrong at such a high-profile moment.

The original “I’m in charge” remark, made during a meeting with Russian leader Vladimir Putin, went down badly.

A Kremlin spokesman said: “We are glad Mr Trump has cleared it up. This is now something we can all agree on.”


Republican supporter Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It was obvious he meant to describe himself as a cockwomble all along. This is just fake news going crazy.”

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