Wednesday, November 29, 2023

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Fury as hay fever found to have nothing to do with hay

Residents demanded to know the truth last night after it was revealed that hay fever has very little to do with hay.

As Suffolk sniffed and sneezed, experts also admitted that the condition was not actually a fever.

Despite the confusion, everyone agreed that when the temperatures rise, as they are doing this week, then people start feeling under the weather.

Dr Daley Sneezum, who has been studying hay fever for many years, told the Suffolk Gazette: “Hay fever has very little to do with hay. Yes, hay could contribute, but in the modern world anything pollen related can irritate us.

“The main culprits are grass (before it turns into hay), trees and certain weeds. Further, patients do not develop a fever as the name suggests. Instead, they may get itchy eyes, sneezing, runny noses and irritated throats.”

Those afflicted said the name of the condition should now be changed to better describe how they feel.

Agnes Harrison, 83, of Hasketon, Suffolk, said: “Hay fever is not to be sniffed at. But we should call it something that better reflects what it is – an irritation.

“So I suggest ‘Angry Labour Voters’, because they have become the most irritating thing in the world.”

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