Sunday, July 7, 2024

Farmer’s son ‘udderly heartbroken’ at marriage proposal rejection

Farmer’s son ‘udderly heartbroken’ at marriage proposal rejection

FRAMLINGHAM, SUFFOLK – Graham Diggard Jr. The son of renowned local farmer Graham Diggard of Hill Farm, Framlingham,.hatched a creative marriage proposal plan for his girlfriend, Wendy Potter, the farm’s buxom milkmaid.

In a gesture that blended romance with rural charm, Diggard Jr. decided to pop the question by spray-painting his bland. “Will you marry me?” proposal onto the side of a cow in blue paint. The bold bovine declaration read like something out of James Herriot’s “All Creatures Great And Small”.

Diggard Junior was forced to wait four days before receiving his answer. Which he found in the form of a resounding “No” daubed in red paint onto a pig’s arse.

Ungrateful cow

As the heartbroken Diggard Jr. tried to make sense of the ungrateful milk cow’s rejection. The truth unravelled like a woollen scarf caught in a thicket.

It turned out that Wendy was entangled in a clandestine affair with none other than Tom Forefinger. A local sheep herder whose presence became glaringly obvious when a rogue sheep. Adorned with Wendy’s inked confession “I heart Forefinger” found its way onto Hill Farm.

Marriage proposal rejection drama

As the rural drama unfolded, locals whispered of a pigmented proposal gone awry and a sheepish revelation that. Like a doomed romance in an Emily Bronte novel, forever altered the romantic landscape of Hill Farm.

Unsuspecting pig

The heartbreak, however, was not only reserved for Diggard Jr. but also for the unsuspecting pig caught in the crossfire of a love triangle that collapsed amidst the fallow pastures of Framlingham. In a brutal act of revenge, the spurned farmer’s son slaughtered the messenger like. Well, … a pig, and turned it into sausages for next morning’s breakfast.

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